Little Men

Introduction

We are returning to our series of lessons on the home this morning.

As we turn from husbands and wives to mothers and fathers, I find it prudent in our current environment to say a separate word about raising boys and raising girls.

We have been pressured in a million little and big ways to raise our children without distinction.

We are often encouraged to recognize their personality differences but to ignore their gender differences.

Often it is the personality that needs restraining or at least moulding while the gender is what needs encouraging.

Far from gender neutral child-rearing, the Bible has much to say about the raising of sons.

Raising Men

We need to have a Biblical picture of what we are aiming at.

Too many parents parent to the moment.

They fulfill immediate needs.

They are equal parts annoyed or entertained in the moment with no thought of the future.

This is why some parents will wonder why you would start reading stories to a child “before he can understand.”

We are raising brave warriors (Gen. 1:26-27; 9:1-2).

We must be filling their heads with the sorts of things that define these traits.

The world will fill their heads with stories that blunt those manly traits or distort them into abuse.

We must be discerning about how we define these things through the stories we tell.

We want them to be “strong, sacrificial, courageous, and good.”

We are raising responsible husbands (Gen. 2:15).

Here is a balance to the conquering warrior.

Once he has conquered, he tends and makes what he has conquered prosper.

He takes responsibility for what is his to tend no matter what.

A boy needs a garden to tend with the exciting harvest that comes with it.

We are raising wise old men (Prov. 1:1-8; 20:29).

Another counter to the warrior is the sage.

Adventurous boys are likely to look at books as effeminate.

Bookish boys are likely to look at physically active boys as fools.

But we need to teach them wisdom comes through long diligent effort and they do not have it yet but will only have it if they start after it now.

We are raising the glory of God (1 Cor. 11:7).

In all of this we mean to make them good images of their Creator.

We are not looking to fill worldly categories here but godly ones.

They should be conquerers, husbands, and sages in reflection of Him.

He is all of these things and so should our sons be.

Some say “my son just isn’t inclined in that direction.” We are none of us as inclined to be like God as we ought. We do not raise our sons to live up to their own inclinations but rather to God’s.

This does not mean we don’t let them “play to their strengths.” But we don’t let them ignore their weaknesses.

All of this requires godly discipline (Gen. 4:6-7; Eph. 6:4; 1 Tim. 4:7).

The Value of Hard Work

We live in a world that requires hard work (Gen. 3:17-19).

We need to teach our sons to be ashamed of laziness or we will be ashamed (Prov. 10:5).

Work teaches our sons self-respect, not self-esteem (Gal. 6:3-5).

We need to teach them that hard work pays off (Prov. 13:4).

We may have to be creative here because we have made lives that do not require hard work of our children.

A rich farmer makes his sons work hard because he is raising sons, not corn.

Excuses for laziness are endless and all of them are useless (Prov. 22:13; 20:4).

We will have to help them set the distractions aside to perform hard work (Prov. 14:23-24).

The Sabbath rest was built upon six days of labor (Ex. 20:11).

Momma’s Boy

Wisdom is a woman and needs to be the pattern for mothers (Prov. 9:1-6).

The successful mother rejoices at a son leaving her (Gen. 2:24).

Too many mothers are looking for companionship in their children instead of thinking of raising them to adulthood.

These sorts of mother look at fine young ladies as competitors to their own affections (and they will be).

They will find that the woman who does take their sons heart will take it in competition to her own.

How much better to look to a fine young lady as the goal to be rejoiced over and delighted in.

In this case you are not teaching your son to cling to you but encouraging him to rise up and call you blessed and to be worthy of one who will treat him well.

Men thrive with respect and so do future men (Eph. 5:33).

Mothers should remember that they are not raising little boys, they are raising men.

They do not want large little boys when it is all done, they want men.

This means they must fight their instincts at times to coddle and instead encourage toughness.

They must also encourage their boys to make choices and to live with the consequences.

Manners are about honor, not effeminacy (1 Pet. 2:17).

Conclusion

There is so much more to say but I have tried to address some basic premises here.

Bottom line, this will not happen without some serious intention.

Society will not only not help you, they are increasingly fighting you every step of the way.

The main thing here is to keep your eyes on THE father that you want your son to be like.

In every child we are trying to make them even better servants of Him than ourselves.

We are talking here of ideals. Perhaps you are thinking that your parents didn’t give attention to these things at all and that gives you the excuse to remain as you are.

In the best case, we are trying to give a good representation that will certainly fall short. But in every case, each child will move beyond childhood and must take ownership of themselves.

If you are here this morning and have not come to the father and yielded as His child, it will not be your parents who will answer for YOUR decision there.