Anger in the Proverbs
Message Introduction
People handle anger by:
Causes of Anger
Anger can be good
Passages to Consider
The stupid fool gets irritated easily and lets everyone know it. A prudent man, on the other hand, does not consider every insult a challenge he must take up. Rather, he simply considers the source, prays for the person leveling the insult and refuses to become upset over it. Many counselees could profit from learning and regularly applying the verse to their situations. Restraint of inappropriate emotion is something that many psychiatrists think is unhealthy; they advocate ventilation. God teaches otherwise. Who will you follow?
A person is known as righteous or as a deceiver according to whether he speaks truth or bears false witness. His words, therefore, reveal the kind of person he is (v. 17). It is important, then, for a counselor to examine carefully how reliable a counselee’s words may be. In checking these out, one can tell much about his basic character (note other verses in this chapter which say virtually the same thing).
Once again, in line with previous proverbs in this chapter, but with a slightly different twist, we are told that a wise person has a fear of displeasing God that helps him avoid evil. Here, the word evil may have both of its meanings: sin and trouble. After all, they both accompany one another. But others stupidly stumble into one problem after another because of their reckless, unthinking ways. The fool in question fails to stop and consider whether or not his actions will please God; he simply passes on—beyond the point of no return—and ends up in trouble with God and man (v. 16).
In verse 17 we meet another who fails to use discretion: one whose problem is haste. He lacks the patience he needs to avoid foolish behavior. Before checking facts, before summoning up needed self-control, before thinking about God’s commandments, he blurts out whatever comes to mind. He has a quick temper. Counselors will find that almost every person with a quick temper will act foolishly. Such counselees must be taught the patience that is born of developing discretion and trust in God.
In verse 29 once again Solomon deals with anger (cf. v. 17). The discerning person is slow to anger; unnecessary trouble comes from short-tempered words and actions. Indeed, failure to control anger exalts folly (i.e., one who refuses to control anger by such behavior unwittingly makes folly his goal). Raising foolishness to a place of prominence in his life, he calls everyone’s attention to the fact.
The first response will drive your opponent back, away from you. The second will move him in closer. The same is true of the way in which one responds to wrath. A soft answer turns away wrath (there is little fun in punching pillows; unlike a punching bag, they give!). A foolish verbal response stirs up anger. Thus it drives others farther away from you. This is a wonderful verse to use in a large number of counseling situations.
On verse 18, see verse 1. The point is the same: hotheaded persons cause problems (strife) between people. Those slow to anger, by contrast, calm contention. A good verse for many counselees to remember! It is probably still principally referring to what one’s words lead to. Certainly that is a key area in which to practice the calming note.
According to verse 32 it takes more power, wisdom and strength to control one’s temper than to storm a city by force. Angry counselees must be informed that to rein in their anger will take courage and strength greater than that of a mighty warrior. Indeed, they must win the war within (see my book with that very title). Self-control is part of the Spirit’s fruit (Galatians 5:23) and must be cultivated by studying and applying His Words in verses such as this one. Counselors are counselors of war, who help counselees plan a frontal attack on this vicious enemy. One hope, implied in the proverb, is that anger is governable.
Everyone who knows better warns him, but he will not hear. Who is that? The one who separates himself from others to pursue his own interest (desire). What does he do? He rushes (or rolls) headlong (that is, thoughtlessly) against all sound wisdom. Again, who is this? The recluse, the lone wolf, the person who thinks that he needs no one else. He is so wrapped up in himself and what he is doing that, for all he cares, the world can go hang. Here is the “Christian” who “doesn’t need the church.” Here is the child who doesn’t need his parents. Here is the heresiarch who doesn’t need the teachings of the theologians and exegetes. Many such persons believe only in themselves; they think they don’t even need a Savior. The self-sufficient person, because of his desire for independence and autonomy, in the end, comes to ruin.
Blameshifting, which is as old as the Garden of Eden, is frequently encountered in counseling. How utterly important it is, then, to help counselees to accept responsibility for their words and actions, and to recognize the consequences that flow from them. Often a counselee will say, “If only he would do so and so, then I would do thus and thus.” You will also hear, “If only she had done her part, then I would have done mine.” Such excuses must be met head on: scotch them early in counseling. Explain that a Christian must do that which it is his responsibility to do to please God—whether or not any other person assumes his responsibility. This understanding is basic to all successful counseling. You cannot go very far without it. Bring the counselee to an agreement about this principle before trying to go further. While such blame-shifting is serious, even more serious is blaming God for one’s predicament. That is the sort of blameshifting with which verse 3 is concerned. The failures that one encounters are not God’s fault; they are the result of the counselee’s stupid folly. Counselees who are angry with Yahweh so that their hearts rage against Him must be stopped in their tracks by a reading of this verse. It is the most powerful one on the subject. Learn where it is located and be ready to use it in all such cases.
In verse 11 Solomon once more deals with anger. He says that it is discretion that enables a person to control his anger, and then goes even further, saying, it is his glory (that is, to his credit) to overlook an offense. Not only should a believer not get angry over every offense, but he may overlook it altogether (cf. 15:1; 16:32).
It is not only once, but again and again, that an angry man must be delivered by paying a fine; there is no hope for such a person short of learning to control his temper (v. 19). Such control is the work of God’s Spirit through His Word (cf. Galatians 5:23). In other words, unless a counselor helps a counselee overcome the underlying problem by changing his basic habit pattern, his counseling will be in vain. It is not enough (though necessary, of course) to deal with the consequences of the latest escapade; there must be a more fundamental alteration of the attitude and habitual set in the counselee of which it is but the most recent instance. Don’t settle for anything less.
Compare verse 2 with 16:14 and 15. One should fear a ruler’s authority as he fears the roar of a wild lion. How does he do that? He gets out of the way of the one as he would the other. Fools, however, do not do so. Instead, by stirring up his anger, they bring down wrath against themselves.
Verse 14 contains an observation—not a recommendation. When a bribe is given (and received) in full view of others, it is nowhere nearly as effective as if it were given secretly. If some, who you expect would be angered over a transgression, appear placid and accepting, it is possible that they have been secretly bribed. That would explain the otherwise inexplicable lack of wrath on their part.
The concept of sowing and reaping, often worked out in the Scriptures to teach God’s ways with men, is here invoked to speak of how injustice sown reaps trouble. The rod of his wrath (his ability to impose his anger on others) will fail (come to an end). This is a warning to the one sowing injustice and venting his wrath on others. At the same time, the verse holds out hope for the oppressed (v. 8).
The actual words of the wise men who wrote begin with verse 22, a verse that is coupled with verse 23. In it there is a command to which is affixed a reason. It begins by telling the reader that he must never take advantage of the poor because he doesn’t have the means to retaliate. He must not crush the afflicted in the gate (the city hall and courthouse where the elders sat in judgment; cf. 31:23. The city gates were meeting rooms, not mere doors swinging on hinges.). Why? What is the reason? Simply this: Yahweh will defend the poor (cf. 23:10, 11) and will do to those who take advantage of them what they have done to the poor (plunder them).
The problem of making poor associations is highlighted in verses 24 and 25 (cf. 13:20; 14:7; 1 Corinthians 15:33). The “with Him” method of learning, espoused by Jesus (Mark 3:14; Luke 6:40), works with learning either truth or falsehood, righteousness or wickedness. That is why associations are of such importance. Here the association to be avoided is with a hot-tempered or angry man. The danger is in learning his ways and thus getting caught in the traps laid for such individuals.
Verse 23 states the inevitability of certain effects stemming from certain causes. The link is as sure as the north wind bringing rain. When a gossip (one with a wagging tongue) goes to work, this is sure to result in angry expressions from many who, otherwise, would have no need to think ill of or be angry with their friends or acquaintances.
A city without a wall is vulnerable to attack, exposing itself to ruin (v. 28). So too, a man without self-control lies under the same threat. He will ruin his opportunities to work, to have a happy home, etc. (cf. 29:11; the converse is found in 16:32). No matter what one’s skills, abilities or knowledge, all of these can be undermined by failure to control one’s temper, appetites, etc.
Perhaps the third verse follows hard upon the second because of the irritation a proud person, who proclaims his own worth, causes. It is, however, larger in scope. Stupid fools are hard to bear. If one is forced into keeping up regular contact with them he will soon find that to do so is a burden that grows heavy and wears him down. In many cases, it would be easier to carry a load of sand or stone. Tell fools this is how others see them.
Verse 4 deals with jealousy. Some jealousy is proper: God is jealous over His Name and over His people (cf. Exodus 20:5). He ought to be. He has a right and duty to defend both. He must maintain His place as the only true God. It is right for us to jealously guard God’s reputation. Jealousy has to do with zeal (the two are connected etymologically). Wrath and anger are overwhelming, it is true, but they can’t compare with jealousy which goes deeper than either. Here, Solomon focuses on human jealousy which, in counseling (as in Proverbs), often has to do with jealousy for one’s wife (cf. 6:34, 35). Jealousy based on facts, testimony and evidence is one thing; that which is based on mere suspicion is quite another (on this, see 1 Corinthians 13:7). Jealousy of this suspicious sort does not grow out of love but out of lack of trust and expectation. Jealousy, then, can be either a demonstration of love or the lack of it. It is the counselor’s task to help distinguish between these two.
In verse 8, the power of scorn in stirring up trouble is highlighted. The danger of media gone wild is of importance here; demagoguery can be vocal or in print. Wise people, however, know how to combat this, and thus avert the danger that scorners might otherwise cause. Wise counselors, with reason and truth, must counter the mockery and slander that sets things ablaze. A counselor should be a steadying influence. If wise persons do not speak up to do so (whether they be counselors or not) they too will be responsible for the omission, and in part responsible for the consequences. What is true of a city can be every bit as true of homes, churches, businesses, etc.
There is no way to get any sense out of a foolish man in a trial. He is agitated, irrational and says anything that comes to mind—no matter how absurd (v. 9). He, therefore, can be dangerous, and you will probably reach no satisfactory outcome. The answer? Put him in God’s providentially working hands. Men can do little with him.
Verse 10 once more speaks of how the upright must help when they see wicked persons running roughshod over those with integrity. Here is as direct a call to service as one could wish (cf. v. 8; 24:11, 12). The counselor must always be on the right side here and endeavor to enlist counselees in the same cause.
Many other verses accord with verse 22. No angry person can avoid causing much sin and contention. His life is characterized by these two things. Until he learns self-control (cf. v. 11) neither will cease.
If one doesn’t (v. 33) he will suffer the consequences as surely as the curds, blood and strife attend the actions that produce them. There are inevitable consequences to sinful practices.