Restitution

Intro

I feel like “restitution” is way to unfamiliar a topic for me to not start off the lesson with some context and meaning. Then we will paint it pretty with some real life testimony and colorful metaphors. That alright?

The first time this word is seen in the scriptures is in Genesis 26.10 “Abimelech said, “What is this you have done to us? One of the people might easily have lain with your wife, and you would have brought guilt upon us.””

Here the word, elsewhere translated restitution, is translated as “guilt”. Isaac, the son of Abraham (the forefather of the Jewish and Christian faith) while traveling with his wife Rebekah and had settled in Gerar. He was afraid the men of the place would kill him to take his beautiful or “hot” wife, so he lied and said, when asked “is that your wife”, that she was his sister. One of the men of Gerar, after some time, sees Issac laughing with Rebekah and deduces that she is Issac’s wife. So the leader of the area calls in Issac to speak with him and is like “Yo, this your bae?” The leader of the area knew that if one of the men had sought her as wife and had consummated that marriage it would have brought guilt on the people of Gerar.

It would have brought “guilt” on the people of Gerar.

The Shame-Honor See Saw

That’s where restitution starts. Guilt. I think its needful to express some culture context for this word guilt first before moving on. The eastern culture was very much a shame / honor culture versus a intrinsically good and evil culture like the west. In addition, the eastern culture is more community based than individual based as whole (no pun intended there). What this means is that wrong was defined by what brought shame on someone’s family, someone’s tribe, or community. The leader of Gerar, Abimelech, knew if some man in Gerar had had sex with Isaac’s wife, then this would have brought shame on his community. This shame also carries a implication with it - restitution.

The shame and honor culture is very much like a see saw. When the see saw falls toward shame something is required to make it fall toward honor. Honor is always the goal in this culture. Communities are not content to remain in shame. So this is the force behind Abimelech’s message to Isaac - almost like “How could you lay a shame trap for me to fall into”

The next time this word shows up, it’ in the book of Leviticus. If Exodus was an executive summary of the Law of Moses, then Leviticus is the technical details of the Law. In Leviticus 5.15 Moses (the first leader of Israel after leaving Egypt) states ““If anyone commits a breach of faith (breaks down trust in a relationship - my addition) and sins unintentionally in any of the holy things of the Lord, he shall bring to the Lord as his compensation, a ram without blemish out of the flock, valued in silver shekels, according to the shekel of the sanctuary, for a guilt offering.”

Here, instead of the word being translated “guilt”, it is translated compensation and guilt in the same verse. The meaning is clear: compensation is required when guilt occurs. Compensation is the key to move the see saw. Some work is required to make shame turn toward honor. Some cost is involved. In the next verse we get even more a colorful picture. Moses states in Leviticus 5.16 that “He shall also make restitution for what he has done amiss in the holy thing and SHALL ADD A FIFTH to it...”

Notice that its not enough to press equally as hard to make the see saw change position always. Think of shame as 20% heavier than honor. More cost is required for shame to change to honor.

Make Good

The other way to understand the concept is “meeting one’s full obligations” as the word has a fullness and completeness at the heart of its meaning. If I don’t work the full 40 hours, I now owe a debt that at a minimum I need to repay to reach the 40 hour commitment. If you promised you pay $100 for a bike and only paid $80, then you owe at least $20. Its up to the person who owes the money to “make good” on the $20 owed for the bike.

Now a simple question: if you were buying the bike from your friend and never paid the $20, what would happen to the relationship? If your employer didn’t “make good” on your offer letter and only paid you $40,000 when they promised $60,000, what will that do your relationship with that company? What if you pay someone for a website $1000, but they never finish the website, what will happen to the business relationship? Nothing good - that’s what.

The other thing to note is that this is not a bribe, its to make atonement. The gift. The sacrifice (it must be a sacrifice) leads to forgiveness and is a necessary pre-requisite of it. Notice God doesn’t just say “say your sorry”. He doesn’t say “just don’t do it again” in Leviticus 5. Forgiveness is possible because of the sacrifice proceeding it. No sacrifice. No forgiveness. No forgiveness. No reconciliation.

If one peruses the book of Exodus you will see “restitution” mentioned in human relationships when some loss or offense occurs. In the book of Leviticus you see it show up when the relationship with God has suffered loss. Relationships will suffer loss, that is a fact, but we can’t “make good” on the relational debt owed without restitution paid.

Intentions Don’t Matter....as much

I think its important to mention that relational debt with humans or God does not need to be intentional.

I would constantly say to my wife, after I had created some relational debt unintentionally, that “I am sorry babe, I didn’t mean to...” and she would wisely respond back “it doesn’t matter that you didn’t mean to”.

Now, what she was communicating was this: Relational harm, hurt, trauma, or debt doesn’t know or care that the debt created was intentional or unintentional. It just is - that’s enough to create the debt. The moment we say “you are overreacting”, “but I didn’t mean to”, or another phase in-kind, we are just creating more relational debt by invaliding - gaslighting - the other person’s feelings. Good luck trying to gaslight God because you didn’t think it was such a big deal.

In the Old Testament, it didn’t matter whether the man intentionally forgot to cover the ditch he dug, to prevent his neighbor’s animals from falling in the ditch; if the digger didn’t cover it up and their neighbors animals fell in and died, then the digger has created debt with his neighbor. Intentions or even control don’t make the neighbor’s animal come back to life.

“I didn’t mean to” doesn’t mean a thing when it comes to restitution.

This means so much in the light of George Floyd and so many others killed by police officers that “didn’t mean” to kill the people they were arresting. Those police officers intentions don’t make empty beds, dinner chairs full again. They don’t make loved ones come back. They don’t make the anxiety in the black community absolved. Those deaths affected the community and their immediate families creating relational debt. The fact that Emit Till resurfaced during many of the BLM marches is proof that the debt still exists. There can be no forgiveness if there is no sacrifice offered; without restitution there is no hope for reconciliation. This is not the black community holding grudge, this is a theological proof. There was hostility between God and humanity before God put an end to it through reconciliation, but it came with a high cost.

To kill the hostility, Jesus had to be killed. Forgiveness is needed for reconciliation (i.e., peace) and sacrifice for forgiveness.

Ephesians 2:15–16 ESV

by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

This leads us to our next point.

The greater the debt, the greater the cost.

Restitution is relative to the amount of relational debt incurred. Sinning against an infinitely eternal holy God who is also King of the seen and unseen world will carry more debt than unintentionally killing your neighbors family pet in your uncovered ditch. Right?

Restitution paid to George’s family cannot be the same as paid to a SMUD customer for being overcharged on a utility bill. Me accidently stepping on my wife’s toes is completely different than punching her in a fit of rage (never done by the way or I wouldn’t be writing this book. I can hear her saying in her head with eye-brow raised “…not this chick”).

Betraying my wife’s trust through sexual addiction carries a hefty cost of restitution. Notice I said cost, again, as it has to cost the offender. This is necessary because something transpires when the offended forgives the offender after restitution has been paid.

Jesus was one day having a meal at a Pharisee’s house (when you hear Pharisee, think of a bible scholar or PhD. in Bible, or a really really smart Bible person). At this same dinner an uninvited guest also shows up. A women who had been forgiven by Jesus at an earlier interaction with Him. Simon, the Pharisee’s name, doesn’t understand why the woman is there and Jesus tells him a story to explain:

Luke 7:40–43 ESV

And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.” “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?” Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”

I see what you are thinking right now: why can’t my wife forgive my debt without me having to pay a dime? Isn’t that what Christians are supposed to do? Let’s table that for now.

Consider the words Jesus spoke “cancelled the debt” as “made the debt good”, that is, “I considered it paid, we are good”.

Luke 7:47 (ESV)

Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.”

After this debt is cancelled, appreciation, no, loving devotion, is the response to cancelled debt for the one who understood the debt they owed. This woman had considered what “compensation” she could offer God to “make good” on the relational debt she had created with Him. She quickly realized that she didn’t have sufficient compensation. And to add to this Jesus overlooked, He “covered”, her debt cancelling it.

How quickly do you think she will recreate the same debt she was just forgiven? How much will she love and trust Jesus now? When Jesus cancels the debt He destroys the fearful distance between the woman and Himself.

Without fathoming the crazy amount of compensation you owe your love one, the police officers owe those black family of Trevon Martin, this country owe’s women, African-Americans, Indigenous Americans — you don’t end up fixing any behaviors and core beliefs that created this chronic cultural debt in the first place.

Does the American government and people have enough compensation to “make good” on their relational debt with people and people groups I mentioned, probably not. Post-civil war, the American government “didn’t even have enough” to settle the newly freed slaves in the south, so....

Going to back to the woman at Simon’s dinner party, Jesus paid her debt because some relational debts we can’t afford to pay in full thereby making reconciliation impossible.

What do you do when nothing you think you could possible offer would make things “good”? What do you do when you don’t even know where to start? As a betrayer in my marriage I was left with the all-consuming debt without a clue how to “make good” on it. Many betrayers just leave the marriage i.e., divorce, because in their mind they have come to the same conclusion this woman did - “I just don’t have enough...”

If God did not intervene in my marriage, to extend His offering, His restitution, into my marriage, so His resurrection could bring it to life again, I’d be divorced right now at the very least.

But is that it? Just wait for Jesus (Yeshua) to make it right? No. Not at all.

Last Old Testament reference I’ll mention, kinda promise :)! In Leviticus God took into consideration that everyone would not be able to afford a “bull” or a “ram”, so He allowed them offer a much more affordable “turtle dove”. It still had to be without defect, but it was much more affordable. The point is, even when you can’t pay the full debt, for the sake of the relationship, pay what you do have.

I attended marriage counseling. I spent thousands on marriage counseling. I attended Celebrate Recovery (CR). I gained years of sobriety in SA through CR. I prayed. I cried. I listened to her cry. I listened to her scream. I let her release the trauma I caused her absorbing every emotional blow to fully understand the debt I had racked up. Yes I bought some nice gifts too! I became fluent in her love language. I couldn’t erase her pain. I couldn't change the past. I couldn’t change our unpleasant state at the time, but I paid what I had.

When she released the debt I owed, I never looked masturbation and porn the same way again. I now have the understanding that sin is not a individualistic concept, but an communal one.

Maybe you have a church leader in mind, maybe a spouse, maybe a school-teacher, parent, police officer. So much debt, how can they possible pay it. Maybe your thinking - they don’t even know they have a debt to pay, then what? I feel that because I, as the betrayer in my marriage, I didn’t even know I had debt until a emotional tsunami flooded and destroyed my marriage 1.0.

What restitution looks like when others who caused it don’t know they have a debt to pay -

Anger

Frustration

Hopelessness

Powerlessness

Vengeance

Constant state of trauma, triggers, or the deluge of intoxication to drown such feelings.

But what it can look like is God hearing yours and my outcry against injustice, hurt, trauma, and taking it personally. And we can, not in a co-dependent and misapplied action of turning the other cheek, but rather making others feel the weight of hurt they’ve caused us i.e., earned relational debt, in hopes that God will make up the difference in their payment through His own.

Genesis 18:20–21 ESV

Then the Lord said, “Because the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is great and their sin is very grave, I will go down to see whether they have done altogether according to the outcry that has come to me. And if not, I will know.”

The problem of racism and misogyny (amongst other cultural sins) in this country is that the western culture is individualistic. This carries the belief that if I didn’t personally do it, then I don’t carry any debt for it. For example, “I never owned slaves” or “I never spoke disrespectfully to a woman”.

The eastern culture, the culture the Bible was written within, had the understanding that shame is not for the individual but for the community to whom the individual belongs. The same debts mentioned above look like: because someone from our community owned a slave, they personally, have brought shame on the entire community. Or, because a person in the community spoken disrespectfully to a woman, they have brought this shame to the entire community. For the shame to leave the community the see saw needs to be pushed in the other direction thus bring honor to the community. Chronic cultural sins remain because they are treated as individual isolated events, when the human race is communal by nature. Racism. Misogyny are not individual shameful acts, they are communal in their offense and so are they in the need for restitution.

So in summary:

Human and God relationships need restitution because debts can always happen.

Restitution is relative to the debt created in the relationship.

Restitution is the compensation (monetary or non-monetary, value is the key) that is sacrificed to “make good” the debt. It is the force the drives the see saw from shame to honor.

When restitution occurs, it is possible, for forgiveness happen relationships. Without forgiveness there is no reconciliation.

There are some relational debts are cannot be fully paid. Jesus atonement plays a key role in such damaged relationships. There is nothing His death cannot pay for and His resurrection bring back to life.

Chronic cultural & relational debts exist because of denial of the communal aspect of sin. The community looses honor not just the individual. The married couple is hurt by the hidden addiction. The community is traumatized by the unarmed black citizen killed by police officers. The church is weakened by injustice paid by church leaders to women of the church. Souls are lost because race and politics are driving forces within the church community.

Questions to consider.

What has restitution looked like in past relationships carry relational debt? If you haven’t pain restitution, what might this look like to you?

Why do you think an individualistic view of sin versus communal propagates the sin? How has this shown up in your relationships?

Why is not voicing a trauma experienced in a relationship a misapplication of “turn the other cheek”? Do all trauma’s or debts need to be made known? How do you tell the difference?

Why isn’t reconciliation possible without restitution? Do you have any examples of this in your past relationships?

How do you determine the appropriate “compensation” of the relational debt? How do you know when you don’t have enough to pay it?

Do you have any relationships with an overwhelming relational debt? After hearing this lesson, what has changed about your perspective of this relationship (it could be a person, God, and institution)?