The First Discipline
Notes
Transcript
The First Discipline
Being the Parent your Children Need
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Is that a promise or a principle.
One of the truest statements I’ve ever heard that is satirical to a degree but very true most of the time in practice is this:
“If you raise your kids you can spoil your grandkids, but if you spoil your kids your will raise your grandkids.”
Another simple but great statement is
“God gave kids parents for a reason.”
There are lots of responsibilities in our homes. Spouses have responsibilities; parents have responsibilities; children do as well.
Much of our frustration in the home is the result of unmet expectations in the lives of others around us. Heartbreak, sadness, even depression are at times the result.
We get very disappointed because of a decision someone has made or an act they have performed has gone against what we had hoped for.
So we are frustrated because we have these unmet expectations in our families.
Then we get upset with God because a family member or someone in our life is not what they should be.
But you can’t make anyone do anything. God does this rarely and by understanding of His Word, He does not force your will concerning salvation either.
So we decide that we are going to get that family in church, that spouse, those kids, and by the grace of God, I’m going to see God do something in their lives. I know He is real, but I want them to see He is real also.
So we dedicate our children to God, or we commit our relationship with our wife or husband to God.
Yet, we get more frustration because we are not seeing the fruit in their lives either.
I. Be Right
I. Be Right
In other words, be right with God.
Kids turn away from God when parents walk in the flesh.
We think we can indulge in the flesh a little – but God doesn’t bless like that.
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
“Walk in the Spirit” and you can’t fulfill the flesh, same goes, when you walk in the flesh, you can’t fulfill the spirit.
The very first part of discipline
You will not be successful without personal and family devotions.
II. Be Balanced
II. Be Balanced
I know we have spent a lot of time on this in the last month or two but it bears a quick repetition today - you need to be balanced in all things.
We must balance our walk with God, our family life devoted to God, have time for ministering in our local church while being a good citizen of our country. Our spouse, our children needs us to be balance and that is going to take discipline to not over commit ourselves in things that take balance away.
Be not righteous over much; neither make thyself over wise: why shouldest thou destroy thyself? Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldest thou die before thy time?
A balanced life is difficult for most people. It is not easily found one’s own.
But I will say this, Balance is not a taught philosophy but an observed one.
A. Strive to be holy without arrogance
Simple rule, anything you do, do it without arrogance
Nothing worse that someone who is very intelligent – but is not arrogant or proud about it.
Be someone who is wise but that is not boastful about it.
If you are very smart, great, be patient with those who are not.
· I’ve always said, I have respect for the weightlifter who does not walk around in tank top or muscle shirts.
Arrogance in any form looks bad – so especially when it comes to seeking to be holy.
False humility doesn’t look much better. Just be real.
It is not only where you stand but you stand.
III. Be Humble
III. Be Humble
Can I remind you this and we help you throughout life: if you are not humble and or you are not teachable you will have a lot of conflict in your life.
Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.
People always assume that as a Marine, I was probably in a lot of fights while in. I’ve even been asked that many times. The truth is I was never in a real fight ever, one small scuffle when I got lost control for a moment.
Now I was around a lot of guys who were in fights, watched fights, wished for fights, my whole company almost got in a fight and I was out there - ready to go. But I never got in fights while many people around me did. Simple reason was this, they were all very proud.
Pride will get you into conflict.
One of the reasons there are so many fights in marriages is because of pride. But when there is a couple where both are humble and gracious there is rarely a conflict.
Husbands, fathers, much of the conflict in the home often stems from your pride, your demands, you expectations. I’m not talking about expectations of going to church or cleaning a room, or teaching and encouraging your family to follow the Lord.
No I’m talking about your demands for your own personal honor and respect. Where you tell people to serve you and bow down to you and demand their actions to be in subservient fashion. That is a dangerous way to care for your family.
You will get a lot farther by being humble.
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Bring them up in humility - humble yourself before God and they will learn to do the same.
IV. Be Patient
IV. Be Patient
Raising kids is a marathon not a sprint.
Don’t abandon biblical principles because of a toddler’s tantrum.
Don’t give way to your biblical standards and cnvictions just because they became a teenager.
Never allow them to change you from your
V. Be Real
V. Be Real
Matthew 7:1-5
Hypocrisy turns kids or spouses against God.
You do realize that none of are what we ought to be before God. I think we all understand that. I think that most spouses and that even children understand that.
But the #1 reason people reject God is because they saw their parents as hypocrites.
Hypocrisy is when you say one thing and do another.
Hypocrisy is also when you act one way in one situation and act contradictorily in another situation.
Hypocrisy is having different personas at work, at home, or at church.
We should be the same at home; church; and even vacation
Evil speaking, constant criticism of others and gossip will destroy children.
Hypocrisy is also when we proclaim the name of Christ, and openly disregard him and disobey Him as if what He says is not important, we betray his name.
We are called to be “Who We are”
VI. Be Consistent
VI. Be Consistent
What the rules are is not important as consistency of keeping those rules.
You can have a ton of rules but without consistency there is trouble.
For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little:
Consistency gives a refuge of hope for future.
VII. Be Honest
VII. Be Honest
Lying is one of the great sins of our generation.
We just lie like it doesn’t matter.
If you lie, you are a liar and that is what you will be known for.
The more you lie, the less you notice you are lying.
If you think it is okay to lie about small things, it won’t be long until you lie about big things.
It won’t be long until you lie to your kids, or lie to your spouse.
Don’t lie.
But sometime we refuse to admit the truth.
When you are wrong – get right with God
Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
When you are wrong before your children, get right with them. When you are wrong with your spouse, admit your wrong, admit your mistake.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
VIII. Be Grateful
VIII. Be Grateful
In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.
IX. Be Willing:
IX. Be Willing:
A. Willing to say you are sorry
A. Willing to say you are sorry
There is no parent that has not made mistakes, do not be too ashamed to acknowledge your faults and mistakes.
That goes for your marriage as well.
James 5:16 (AV)
Confess your faults one to another,...
B. Willing to sacrifice
B. Willing to sacrifice
1. Sacrifice involves suffering
1. Sacrifice involves suffering
2. Sacrifice is willing to bear the extra load
2. Sacrifice is willing to bear the extra load
C. Willing to suffer loss
C. Willing to suffer loss
D. Willing to make a lifetime of investment
D. Willing to make a lifetime of investment
X. Be Disciplined
X. Be Disciplined
Determine in your life, before God and with His help, that you will be the disciplined Believer you need to be - in order to have a happy marriage.
Be determined to be disciplined to be the right kind of parent.
And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
The First Discipline
Being the Parent your Children Need