BFFs (Best friends forever!)

Scripture Reading

Philippians 1:1–11 ESV

Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus, To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

Introduction

In today’s world I’m sure all of us have heard about BFFs. (Best Friends Forever). I think what that really means is,”You’re cool and I’ll hang out with you until you do or say something I don’t like or the BBD (bigger, better deal) comes along.” Forever, in this instance, has the longevity of a fruit fly’s life. Today we are going to take a look at what it really means to have a friend forever. Forever meaning eternity.

Now, I have a Facebook account and look at it at least twice a day. It’s a way to keep up with my “friends.” Modern technology has given us many ways to connect with our “friends” online through applications, texting, videos, even old fashioned phone calls - you name it. Those connections feed a deep need in us for friendship, for relevance, for acceptance.

But all this got me to wondering about friendship and what it truly means to be a friend. Proverbs 18:24 says, “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. “ How does that look in our lives? In short, what is a friend? What constitutes true friendship?

If you search Google you can find all manner of definitions of friendship. There are blogs, essays, books, studies,...... so many people trying to tell us about friendship.

For example an entry at Stanford University states,

“Friendship, as understood here, is a distinctively personal relationship that is grounded in a concern on the part of each friend for the welfare of the other, for the other’s sake, and that involves some degree of intimacy. As such, friendship is undoubtedly central to our lives, in part because the special concern we have for our friends must have a place within a broader set of concerns, including moral concerns, and in part because our friends can help shape who we are as persons. Given this centrality, important questions arise concerning the justification of friendship and, in this context, whether it is permissible to “trade up” when someone new comes along, as well as concerning the possibility of reconciling the demands of friendship with the demands of morality in cases in which the two seem to conflict.”

https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/friendship/

Basically, friends are good for us until they conflict with our beliefs.

A Psychology Today article gives us seven traits of true friendship:

Empathy

Selflessness

Trustworthiness

Shared Interests

Difference in perspectives and backgrounds

Humorous

Team players

A site called, “The Power of Positivity,” has ELEVEN signs of true friends:

They accept everything about you, including your flaws.

They stick with you through both the good and bad times.

They are happy for your successes and congratulate you when you reach a new goal.

You feel totally comfortable around them, and they probably know things about you that many others don’t.

True friendships meet you halfway – they don’t expect you to always be the one to reach out to them.

They make you feel happier and more alive, not drained and stressed.

They tell you the truth about things, even if you may not want to hear it.

They don’t blow things out of proportion when you make a mistake – they forgive you.

Real friendships mean they don’t talk about you behind your back.

They allow you to have other friendships without getting jealous and possessive.

You have so many inside jokes and funny memories with them that you’ve lost count.

Another Psychology Today article written by Alex Lickerman tells us that friends have:

Common interests.

History.

Common values.

Equality.

A commitment to your happiness.

Not asking you to place the friendship before your principles.

A good influence.

Biblical examples

That tells us what people without Christ think about friendship. What does the Bible tells us?

There is an example of true friendship between David and Saul’s son Jonathan. A friendship that existed even though Jonathan knew it meant he would never be king.

1 Samuel 18:1–3 (ESV) — 1 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

Proverbs is another good source of wisdom regarding friends.

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity"

Proverbs 27:6 - "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses"

Proverbs 27:17 - "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another"

The principle of friendship is also found in Amos.

Amos 3:3 KJV - "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?"

Job’s friends come to comfort him and, even when they chastise him, they are doing it out of a heart to end Job’s suffering.

Job 2:11 (ESV) — 11 Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this evil that had come upon him, they came each from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. They made an appointment together to come to show him sympathy and comfort him.

Ruth stays with Naomi though she comes from a people (Moab) that are enemies of the Israelites.

Ruth 1:16–17 (ESV) — 16 But Ruth said, “Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. 17 Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”

One of the greatest examples of friendship is documented in the New Testament.

Mark 2:3–4 (ESV) — 3 And they came, bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. 4 And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.

Paul and friendship

So how does our passage tell us about God’s ideas of friendship? Philippians was written to the church in Philippi while Paul was in prison. During this imprisonment he was visited by Timothy and Epaphroditus, who told him the news from the church in Philippi. This letter is different than most of Paul’s letters because it does not deal with problems in the church (Galatians, Corinthians) nor does it deal with weighty theological issues (Romans). This is truly a letter from Paul to people he considers his good friends.

He starts the letter off with his usual practice of identifying himself as the writer but then he does something entirely different. In the majority of his letters, he refers to himself as an apostle (probably to emphasize his authority or his calling) and then mentions others who are sending their greetings. In this letter he identifies both himself and Timothy as servants of Christ Jesus with no division in their standing or calling.

English Standard Version Chapter 1

Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus

When he addresses the recipients he follows his usual practice of identifying the church to whom he is writing. Again, he does something different here because he doesn’t just identify the church but also, specifically, identifies those who are leaders and specially called out workers in the church. The term “saints” does not mean specific people who have done spectacular things for God. It means all those that are justified by faith in Jesus Christ. It’s as if Paul is saying, “I want to be sure that everyone understands this letter is written to ALL those in the church, whom I consider friends.”

English Standard Version Chapter 1

To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi, with the overseers and deacons:

Once he is done with the preliminaries Paul gets to the heart of the matter. He tells them he is thankful for the friendship and their partnership in spreading the Gospel. He encourages them in their faith and lets them know how much he longs to be with them. He expresses his hope that they continue to grow and mature in knowledge and discernment. So far, none of this is any different than what we heard earlier in the human definitions of friendship.

But, as Paul Harvey would say, here is the rest of the story.

Difference between Christian and humanistic friendship

Christian friendship based on belief in God, faith in Christ, and work of Holy Spirit

Christian friendship based on selflessness and humility that is not natural to man.

Christian friendship is based on true love and concern for other.

Ultimate example of true friendship is Jesus Christ.

Romans 5:7-8 - "For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us"

The Lord Jesus Christ gave us the definition of a true friend: "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you" (John 15:13-15).