Family, Marriage and Children

Review

We have been talking about the promises of God for the last month or so and we spent a lot of time understanding the nature of the promise giver, as well as how the promises work. We studied the foundational , or basic promises a couple of weeks ago and then finally, last week we got into some of the extended promises when we talked about health and wealth. This week we’ll be going into more of those extended promises but make no mistake, we’ve only begun to scratch the surface of the manifold promises of God. And in truth, we could go on for weeks looking at all the different promises of God and still not really be able to catalog them all, but that’s not the intention of this series. The whole point isn’t for this series to be an exhaustive study of every single promise. My intent is to help you to understand the process for obtaining God’s promise, so that when you come across one in scripture you can apply the process to that specific promise.

The process

Read the promise

Think about the faithfulness of the promise giver

Look it over, what are the requirements to receiving

Ask for the fulfilment of the promise in faith.

Keep your end of the promise

Remember, God is faithful, receiving often takes patience.

The promises

Today we will be talking about more of God’s promises. Again, these are promises that I would classify as crucial rather than core. While health and financial well-being are important, they are somewhat bearable when you have someone to go through the trial with you. When you have family, you really have got something special. I remember waking up after open heart surgery and seeing all my family and some of my friends around me in that hospital bed. It was so reassuring to see everyone there. It was like a tonic to my poor traumatized heart, and even though I lacked the strength to really tell them much of anything, I so much, appreciated seeing them there. God knows this about us and so He makes us some very specific promises about.

1. Children

2. Marriage

3. Family

Children

Proverbs 29:17 NKJV

Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul.

You want your kids to delight your soul? It says there to correct them. Now notice it doesn’t say nag them, it doesn’t say guilt them, it doesn’t say browbeat them into submission, it says correct them. How does that work? Well let’s keep reading.

Jeremiah 31:16–17 NKJV

Thus says the Lord: “Refrain your voice from weeping, And your eyes from tears; For your work shall be rewarded, says the Lord, And they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope in your future, says the Lord, That your children shall come back to their own border.

Moms, dads don’t weep when your kids go astray. I know right now, my child is not doing things the smart way. She’s being kind of worldly in how she has decided to live life, but the promise of God is that our hard work we did as parents will be rewarded and that it will come to pass in the future.

It kind of sounds like this promise doesn’t it?

Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

They may stray for a while, and they may drift off course, but in due time, the promise of God is that they will come back. But what are the requirements? Well they are that when they are young we are to be correcting them. We are to be instructing them in the ways of the Lord. We are to be living Godly lives in their presence so that they can see our faithfulness to God, and when the time comes and they have strayed, we are instructed not to weep, rather to know that our hope is in the future. What does that look like? Well it looks an awful lot like this story that Jesus told His followers one day.

Luke 15:11–22 NKJV

Then He said: “A certain man had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.’ So he divided to them his livelihood. And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living. But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want. Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything. “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” ’ “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet.

Notice that the father patiently waited for his son’s return. The son’s bad life choices caused him to finally come to his senses. It’s kind of funny how kids come to realize just how wise and smart their parents really are, the older they get. Young people may be clever, but experience is a mighty tough teacher, and years of failure teach you what not to do.

We must be careful not to shame our children for their choices, rather we must always be at the ready to embrace them when they come to their senses. But they will only do so if we have done our due diligence to instill the principles of Godliness in them when they are young.

Well pastor, that makes sense, I get it. But tell me why God makes this promise conditional on us not weeping? Why would he put such a high burden on us? I believe that the reason that requirement is there is two-fold. First, when we allow ourselves to be overcome with emotions, we make emotional decisions, rather than prayerfully thought out ones. Desperately emotional people tend to do the types of things that make things worse. Secondly, that type of weeping demonstrates a complete lack of faith in God or maybe you are worried that you didn’t actually do a great job raising your kids? In that case, you’re in violation of the first part of the requirements aren’t you? You see, our job as parents is really very simple (notice I said simple, not easy), our job is to let our kids see us struggling and relying upon Jesus, to let them see us seeking God, to let the see us desperately clinging to His promises, and to let them see how God comes through for us. We don’t need for them to think that we have all the answers, rather we need for them to know that we know how to get the answers we need. How are your kids going to know how to have a good marriage if they never see you fighting? I mean, if we are avoiding conflict with our spouse all the time “for the sake of the kids” what are we teaching them about conflict? What happens the first time they have conflict with a future spouse, how will they respond? If instead they see conflict arise in your marriage, and see mom or dad humble themselves and apologize to one another, then they will know how to deal with that once they are married. Instruct them with your life. And speaking of marriage, God has some promises for us concerning this as well.

Marriage

There is a huge difference between young people in the world and the young people in the church on one topic in particular, and that is marriage. Whereas in the world, young people seem to be ambivalent to the idea of marriage, young people in the church seem rather fixated on finding the one God has for them. This is a good thing, but when you look at them and talk to them, you begin to see that it is almost an obsession. And it’s not just the young people, we as believers are a social lot, we know the nature of God is all about the “echad” or togetherness of who He is, and we are desirous of having that with another person. Almost to a point of distraction. Well there’s a Bible promise for that too.

Psalm 37:3–5 NKJV

Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.

Pastor, are you telling me that God promises everyone who wants a spouse that they will have one? Well, not really, I’m telling you everyone that puts God first, feeds on His faithfulness and delights himself in Him will get the desires of their heart. look very carefully at what the psalmists says, he does not say you get you heart’s desires, rather that God will give your heart desires. By falling in love with Him, and delighting yourself in Him, you begin to desire different things. You put His agenda first, and if part of His agenda is getting you a spouse, then He will bring one about. But if the best option for you is to be single and free to serve God without having to check in with someone else, then that will be what you desire most. He gives your heart desires.

But pastor, that sounds like bad news, what if someone really wants the companionship of a spouse, are you telling me that God won’t give it, or that God doesn’t promise it? I’m not saying that at all, listen to this Psalm.

Psalm 68:4-6 4 Sing to God, sing praises to His name; extol Him who rides on the clouds, by His name Yah, And rejoice before Him. 5 A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. 6 God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

Psalm 68:4–6 NKJV

Sing to God, sing praises to His name; Extol Him who rides on the clouds, By His name Yah, And rejoice before Him. A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation. God sets the solitary in families; He brings out those who are bound into prosperity; But the rebellious dwell in a dry land.

What is the promise? What is the requirement? Specifically though, God is promising you the correct marital circumstance for your life right now. Let’s learn to delight ourselves in Him and not be dependent on someone else for our happiness.

Now what about general marital relationships? What if I’m married and I’m looking for God to bring peace and harmony to my bad relationship, and in fact there is a thin line between promises for marriage relationships and the general promises for families, so let’s read.

Psalm 128:1–4 NKJV

Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, Who walks in His ways. When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine In the very heart of your house, Your children like olive plants All around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed Who fears the Lord.

What is the promise?

What is the requirement?

So let’s read about how this promise works, because it’s actually rather astounding and it brings out a general principle that, as we shall see, goes right from where we go from just marriage in general to family relationships as a whole.

Because, marriage and family relationships have to do with other people, we have a very interesting dynamic in play, and that is, other people have free will. Now something we know about the nature of God is that He will not violate the free will of another, rather He will woo them and then allow them to make the right choice, He is not going to change that part of who He is, just so that you can manipulate your marriage and family relationships to be the harmonious peaceful relationships you desire because that’s witchcraft. But what God knows is how people’s hearts work, and He knows, that for the most part it is seldom one person who is to blame for family and marital strife. God’s promises are about checking your own attitude, and you own heart, and getting those right. Why? Well because when we are asking God to meet those needs in us, we are not demanding that others meet those needs in us. We are then free to love them for the sake of loving them rather than loving them so that they will meet some unmet need in our hearts. We free them from the burden of making us happy.

So that brings us to our final point, family.

Family

1 Peter 3:8–9 NKJV

Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.

Here again, we see this principle in action. God is instructing each individual to take care of their own behavior. Don’t worry about how the other person is treating you, your job is to delight yourself in God and not return evil for evil, or reviling for reviling. Now listen to me clearly, because I’m not talking about putting up with domestic violence. Because there are scriptural references that I believe cover that, but today we’re talking about God’s promise. Here He is giving us specific promises for familial harmony, but it has some basic, common sense requirements.

Saints, the concept is very simple. You don’t worry about how the other people are behaving (with the exception of children who need to be corrected) and we’re talking about children, not grown sons and daughters here. We don’t go about trying to make each other behave how we think they should, instead we worry about our relationship with God, and our behavior and let God take care of the others.

Isaiah 59:20–21 NKJV

“The Redeemer will come to Zion, And to those who turn from transgression in Jacob,” Says the Lord. “As for Me,” says the Lord, “this is My covenant with them: My Spirit who is upon you, and My words which I have put in your mouth, shall not depart from your mouth, nor from the mouth of your descendants, nor from the mouth of your descendants’ descendants,” says the Lord, “from this time and forevermore.”

There is the awesome promise. You take care of you, and He will be the one that puts His Spirit uon your descendants!

But pastor, that promise is for a nation, how does that look for an individual Christian. Well let’s take a look

Acts 16:31–34 NKJV

So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” Then they spoke the word of the Lord to him and to all who were in his house. And he took them the same hour of the night and washed their stripes. And immediately he and all his family were baptized. Now when he had brought them into his house, he set food before them; and he rejoiced, having believed in God with all his household.

Putting it All Together

The promises of God are precious, but they come with conditions.

B. Homework

Identify the promises that we talked about today

Talk about how they are active and effective in your life.

Talk about disobedience or incomplete obedience may be hindering receiving your total fulfilment of these promises.

Talk about how you plan on taking hold of these promises going forward!

During this series we’ve learned about the entire process of procuring His precious promises. As we bring this series to it’s conclusion remember that there are so many more promises of God for you in His word that we haven’t yet covered, but while we may not have covered the what that you were waiting for, we did cover the how. If you remember the process, you will be well equipped to find, understand and secure the promises of God for your life. Remember the process:

The Process:

Read the promise

Think about the faithfulness of the promise giver

Look it over, what are the requirements to receiving?

Ask for the fulfilment of the promise in faith.

Keep your end of the promise

Remember, God is faithful, receiving often takes patience.