Controlling the Tongue (James 3:1-12)
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As I was reading scripture this week one thing that really stuck out to me was in James 3. We’re going to be focusing on verses 1-12 today. The teaching of these verses is about “controlling the tongue” or in other words “controlling the way we speak.” The tongue is such small part when you look at the body as a whole, but it is a tool that can be a great blessing and also cause great destruction. Our speech is a reflection of our thoughts and where our heart is at. You could never meet someone, but if you heard how they talked in a few different settings, you would quickly learn a lot about that person.
A slight change in speech can drastically change a message. One thing that came to mind when thinking about this concept was the funny T-mobile commercial where the lady is talking to her friend about an event she’s going to and she recommends not wearing anything “too crazy” so she doesn’t look like she’s at a costume party, well she’s on a bad network so a few crucial words are dropped and she thinks she’s actually going to a costume party. Of course the commercial is promoting their network and this is a more funny highlight on topic, but the concept of how a small change in words can make a big difference on what results from our message applies to what we are talking about today. When we speak we can very easily change our message from something uplifting to something that brings everyone down, including ourselves. This can even happen mid-sentence, we start talking about something and maybe we want to gossip a little about someone around this topic, we think no that’s not good, and then mid-sentence our speech takes a hard left down the gossip track. It’s a constant battle.
Let’s go through James 3:1-12 now. Here we’ll find examples on how the use of the tongue can be drastically swayed from one way to the other, how hard it is to tame and control, what is expected of its use as a Christian, and also what would happen if we could tame the tongue.
Dear brothers and sisters, not many of you should become teachers in the church, for we who teach will be judged more strictly. Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.
We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches.
But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
People can tame all kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and fish, but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right! Does a spring of water bubble out with both fresh water and bitter water? Does a fig tree produce olives, or a grapevine produce figs? No, and you can’t draw fresh water from a salty spring.
After shedding a brief light on the position of being a teacher, he transitions to how we need to control our tongue for the rest of the passage.
Many times when talking about something we need to work on in life, people usually start with criticism and then lighten up at the end or give some positive light on it. James sort-of does the opposite here. He starts with, in verse 2 with admitting, yeah we all make a lot of mistakes. We don’t rise up to the standard of Christ, we’re not perfect. But from then on he lays out how crucial it is and how it is not right that, as he puts it in verse 10, “blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth.”
Starting in verse 3 we get a couple great analogies on the power of speech.
First analogy - “We can make a large horse go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth.”
An average adult horse these days weight 900-2,000 lbs. And they can pull a lot of weight. If it’s something on wheels they can pull thousands of pounds. But what does it take to control the direction and slow down a horse, a horse bit which is around 6 inches in length and weighs couple pounds, placed in the mouth.
Second analogy he talks about boats, they can be so massive and carry so much weight, but to direct them, just a rudder that is much much smaller than the boat itself.
The words of the mouth are very powerful, and it doesn’t take a lot of words to accomplish something, good or bad. Last week Don gave a great message about bitterness and gave a good picture of what it’s like within someone, it’s like rat poison. In much the same ways that bitterness can lead to actions that are life destroying, James gives us a good picture on the potential destruction of our use of words.
Last part of verse 5 through 6, again, says:
“But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.”
Sometimes fire is fun to play with, but not in this context. You see friends lost, enemies made and family members distanced from misuse of our words. It’s a very tough battle. I think the picture he gives here of a wild-fire is a great example.
Think about how fast word spreads. Good or bad. A successful business usually doesn’t have to spend as much money on marketing as others because people love to share about what great service they had, and then that person tells another and another, and the ones they told start sharing. People love to talk. Unfortunately it’s the same with malicious talk as well, in fact it’s probably even more. A website that manages user reviews of different companies found that “a consumer is 21 percent more likely to leave a review after a negative experience than a positive one.” Now it’s not a sin to leave a review of a bad experience you had with a business, it’s good to leave honest reviews. I brought that number up because I think the ratio is a result of our natural negative fleshly behaviors. Now gossip is a type of negative talk that is sin, it’s foolish, but it is very easy to fall into. And gossip spreads like crazy. And whenever word spreads it gets mutated, and then you get rumors.
Here are some proverbs on gossip and bad speech.
A troublemaker plants seeds of strife;
gossip separates the best of friends.
Fire goes out without wood,
and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.
A quarrelsome person starts fights
as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood.
Rumors are dainty morsels
that sink deep into one’s heart.
That last verse is interesting, Rumors or in other translations “gossip”, are dainty morsels and they sink deep into one’s heart. Gossip can look very tasty, “you hear what that person did?” “you hear about how bad that person failed at x, y and z?” Those little tidbits of information can be so irresistible sometimes. And they go down and corrupt the very core of our heart. We need to be prepared to fight against those urges to engage with gossip.
Sometimes we just need to take the advice from Proverbs 10:19
Too much talk leads to sin.
Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.
Maybe that’s why God gave us two ears and one mouth. Being more quiet is not such a bad thing, it really can keep us from a lot of trouble.
Throughout the book of James, he’s really focused on our conduct of living as Christians and some verses from James cause people to struggle with faith and works and am I really saved? Because he talks a lot about how faith without action or good deeds is a dead and useless faith. Now we know we are saved by grace alone through faith in Christ alone, but what James is getting at time and time again is that it does not make sense to claim a belief one way but live 100% opposite from how we are told to live in the Bible which we claim to believe in. He gets to that earlier in chapter 1.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.
If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.
Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Anger in itself is not sin, but I think we all know when we are angry we tend to say the worst things. It’s very hard to control the tongue when we are not calm. If we follow these 3 basic instructions, we’ll be in a much better position in all walks of life. I think that’s part of the reason why our country is so divided, many are quick to anger, quick to speak, but slow to listen. Actually sometimes it looks like the ears are completely plugged. But division can even happen in churches through misuse of words. It is a big and tough battle. And as other struggles we know it’s only through Christ that we can make it through.
Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.
Our speech is a way to show the result of our salvation, our joy in Christ. I like the last verse here, God gives us both the desire and the power to do what pleases him. Complete dependence on Him to serve him.
Difference of opinions and disagreements are going to happen and that’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with that. We’re all created differently. But with speech there’s not just what is said, but also the how and when.
Taking care of a conflict with someone face-to-face or even trying to get advice on how to deal with a conflict is fine, but if we start just bashing them behind their back, we’re not only not solving anything and causing ourselves to sin, but we’re also tempting others to engage in the sin of gossip.
Let’s read a couple verses here from Matthew 15:11, 18
It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”
But the words you speak come from the heart—that’s what defiles you.
Like mentioned earlier, the words we speak are a reflection of our heart. The heart is the root problem. We need to continue to pray that God would soften our hearts more towards Him and grant us wisdom. Then we’ll be quicker to listen, slower to speak, and slower to anger.