Understanding the mission

Recap

Recap the series - charting course - relationships are like an ocean, theres a lot of ways to go wrong, theres a lot of ways to get hurt. And if we dont have a plan and a purpose we’re gonna end up with a shipwreck.

1 Cor 7:7-9

1 Corinthians 7:7–9 ESV

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

1 Cor 7:29-35

1 Corinthians 7:29–35 ESV

This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away. I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.

bitcoin example

Sometimes we dont always appreacite something for what its worth until later

Use feeding kid example - greens vs candy

What we want is not always whats best for us, right? but it takes a loving and wise parent to give us what we need, not what we want.

And the reason I say that is because tonight we’re talking about Singleness.

if you’re dating still pay attenion - you are technically single. Singleness is the first relationship state your in and its the only stage your guarneteed to be in at some point

And the bible tells us that singleness is a gift.

The Bible tells us that singleness is a gift from God

1 Cor 7:7

1 Corinthians 7:7 ESV

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

But we dont always see it like that, do we? often times we see singleness as a disease that we have to get out of.

There’s a stigma around singlessness right. Let me ask yall, what do you guys think about singleness?

sometimes we think singleness is something we tolortate, but dont really enjoy. that being in a relationship is like the peak status.

But i want to change our perspective on that tonight - singleness is underrated

But Jesus lived his whole life single, and so did the apostle paul - so if being in a relationship is the pinniacle of life, then we’re saying Jesus didnt maximize his life.

So if the bible calls singleness a gift, and Jesus lived his whole life single, why dont we like singleness?

Sometimes we dont like singleness because we really just dont like ourselves

we talked about this last week - so often we want to run to relationships to fill a void in our own heart. And so a lot of times what happens is, I dont like singleness because I dont like being alone. We think dating will solve our lonliness problem. And so we desperatly search for someone to help me not feel so alone, to bring me affirmation, to bring me validaiton - when in reality the ultiamte source of love, validation, and freindship is in Christ and God. Dating might be able to cover it up, but it wont fix what you really need.

A lot of times we’ll go in to relationships with an unhealthy mindset BECAUSE we dont know how to be single. Deitrich Bonhoefer talked about community this way

Many people seek fellowship because they are afraid to be alone. Because they cannot stand loneliness, they are driven to seek the company of other people. There are Christians, too, who cannot endure being alone, who have had some bad experiences with themselves, who hope they will gain some help in association with others. They are generally disappointed. Then they blame the fellowship for what is really their own fault...The person who comes into a fellowship because he is running away from himself is misusing it for the sake of diversion...He is really not seeking community at all, but only distraction which will allow him to forget his loneliness for a brief time, the very alienation that creates the deadly isolation of man.

Sometimes we dont like singleness because we’re not using it for its intended purpose

how many of you have ever tried playing basketball with a football? is it fun? why not? because thats not its intended purpose right? a football is made it fly through the air, not go in arch into a circular hoop

But that raises the question? what is the purpose of singleness?

Well paul tells us in the passage we just read. Did you catch it? Paul tells us that the purpose of singleness is to promote good order and secure an undivied devotion to the Lord

lets break that down - first it says “to promote good order” what does that mean? - another translation says to promote whats appropiate - use swimsuit at a wedding anology - appropriateness is determined by the context. And whats our context? Paul says it in our previous text

1 Cor 7:29-31

1 Corinthians 7:29–31 ESV

This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none, and those who mourn as though they were not mourning, and those who rejoice as though they were not rejoicing, and those who buy as though they had no goods, and those who deal with the world as though they had no dealings with it. For the present form of this world is passing away.

Paul is telling us that this world is coming to an end, and we have to focus on the most important things. You have to get you priorities in order, because at the end of the day only one thing matters. And sometimes God in his grace will give us a season of singleness to help reorder our priorites.

God’s deepest desire for you is not to be in a relationship with someone else, its for you to be in relationship with him. And we need order that relationship first before we try to rush to another one.

And thats the second part of the verse right, to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. BECAUSE dating can be distrcating.

1 Cor 7:32-34

1 Corinthians 7:32–34 ESV

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.

We all know that. Dating and Relationships can be one of the biggest stressors in your High School life. Some of you, the worst memories you’ll leave high school with are from a relationship that didnt end the way you wanted it to. There’s so much anxietie in dating. and we’ll talk more about how to lessen some of that anxiety when we get to dating in a few weeks, but to some degree its always there

and relationships are just distracting right, they can become idols so fast. . Paul tells us, the single man is worried about the things of God, but a married man is worried about things of this world, and how to please his wife.

“his interest are divided” I love that - we all see that happen right? especially in high school dating

We all have those friends who miss out on fun stuff because their with their girlfriends or boyfriends. I have a friend who dated this girl, and she was nice and really great, but they werent that compatible. And she didnt enjoy the things he did, and he didnt like the things she did, - so they would drag each other to things they didnt enjoy and they kept each other from things they wanted to do.

Singlness is God’s gift to us to help us focus on whats important. And i know that doesnt always sound great at the time, but I promise you he knows what he’s doing.

Am I saying that dating is bad and that you shouldnt do it? No. What i’m trying to tell you tonight is this - dont rush past the purpose of being single. The enemey loves for us to minimize the benefits of our current stage, and long to be elsewhere.

How do we use our singleness well?

Focus on growing your personal relationship with God - get to know his word, spend more time in prayer, make going to church a priority. I want you to be the kid that I know you’re here if you can be. Some of you guys, I can’t honestly say that about.

Focus on the mission of God in your life - for some of yall, you wouldnt admit this, but if I examined your thoughts and life and would see that your whole mission in life is getting that person to like you. Mine was. But I think you would enjoy your singleness and just life so much more if you realized that God made you for so much more than to just be someones boyfriend or girlfriend. What if you were defined more by how much ran after God, or by how much you plugged in to Youth group than by your boyfreind or girlfriend. That God has given you unique skills and gifts to use to help the world, to help your classmates, to help your friends. Some of you guys could lead bible studies, or start pray groups, or just be awesome encouragers. What is God calling you to today? Its probably not - you know I need you to date that boy.

live life to the fullest - I think this applies especially to highschool students. There are so many fun things you get to do and be - make sure you arent forcing yourself into a relationship that is stopping you from living life to the fullest. Have fun, make good freinds of the same gender, love people who are broken and hurting - enjoy this season of life that your in, and dont get too caught up with trying to make a relationship happens. If it happens, thats great - but dont let if be your main focus. Dont let it be your God. I did, and I was definelty worse of for it.