How Not To Pray

Matthew 6:1–18 ESV

1 “Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. 2 “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 3 But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. 9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. 14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 16 “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. 17 But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, 18 that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Let’s pray

Pray for The Well Church - Pastor CJ Coffee

You may be seated

Have you ever heard people with profound and powerful prayers and wished you could pray like them? I have.

When I was younger, I heard people pray what I believed were profound and powerful prayers.

Their prayers were long, uninterrupted and eloquent.

They prayed with confidence and conviction.

When you heard the tone and timber of their voice, you knew that God heard them too.

And to top it all off, when they called on the Lord, they used all the different titles of God that I didn’t understand.

I wanted to pray like them because my prayers were nothing like their prayers. My prayers were short, and they were filled with stuttering and stammering. As a result of my weak prayers, I wanted to learn how to pray.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has wanted to learn how to pray. And as it turns out, we have the best teacher to show us how we are to pray, because God himself taught his disciples how to pray.

When Jesus taught his disciples to pray he said,

Matthew 6:9–13 ESV

9 Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. 10 Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread, 12 and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

These familiar words are known as ‘The Lord’s Prayer.’ But it would more accurate if we called it the, ‘The Disciple’s Prayer’ because Jesus is teaching his us as his disciples how we are to pray.

Starting next week, we will spend the next five weeks going through these five verses so that we might learn how to pray. But before we learn how we are to pray, we will first learn how not to pray.

You see, there are few things that are curious about how Jesus taught us to pray. For one, Jesus’ prayer was not long like those prayer giants that we may have heard in the past. And for another, Jesus did’t even use big and complicated words or multiple titles to call on God.

If we were to compare this prayer to that of the prayers of those so called “prayer giants,” we might go so far as to say that they likely didn’t learn how to pray from the Lord.

But before we get the wrong idea why we are learning to pray let me clarify three things…

First of all, the Lord’s Prayer is not an incantation… What I mean, is prayer is not a series of words that have to be said in the right that cause God to hear us… There is no “magic word” in prayer. No abracadabra, no open sesame. You don’t need to say the right words in order to pray. When Jesus taught his disciples to he told them to “Pray then LIKE this”… this means the Lord’s Prayer is a model for how to pray. So understand, we don’t need to pray the Lord’s prayer word for word in order have authentic prayers.

This brings me to the second thing that I would like to clarify. We are not learning how to pray so that we can judge other people’s prayers. Prayers take many different forms throughout the Scriptures, and this is worth keeping in mind, because Jesus didn’t teach us to pray so that we can be go around policing other people’s prayers. I am not the judge of authentic prayer and neither are you.

And this brings me to the last thing we should note before we begin. While we are not the judges of authentic prayer, we must realize that there is a right way to pray and a wrong way to pray. And that is what todays sermon is about.

But don’t just take my word for it. Before Jesus taught his disciples how to pray, he taught them how not to pray. Listen to how he said it,

Matthew 6:5 ESV

5 “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.

When Jesus tells us how not to pray, he tells us not to pray like the hypocrites. These hypocrites are referred to three times here in this chapter, both before and after the Lord’s prayer, so let’s consider for a moment what a hypocrite is who the these hypocrites are…

First of all, what is a hypocrite?

We understand a hypocrite to be a person who does the very thing that they condemn. Hypocrites don’t practice what they preach. But this isn’t exactly what Jesus had in mind when he calls these people hypocrites. But when Jesus used it this word, he wasn’t talking about a person who does the very thing that they condemn. In Greek, the word hypocrite was used to refer actors… so it’s helpful to understand what Jesus is saying as… when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites/ that is don’t be like the actors.

You know how convincing an actor can be when they are on TV.

Actors can play the all kinds of roles:

They can play those those who have died long before them

or they can play super heroes with super strength

Some actors can even use different accents to sound like they are English when in fact they are American.

Actors can even play the part of the most foul creatures due to convincing makeup artists, and amazing computer generated images.

Actors play the part that they are trying to portray… but are not trying to be authentic to themselves.

So too, these hypocrites who pray in the synagogues and the street corners are just that; they are actors. They are putting on a mask. The hypocrites are fakes and frauds. This is why we use the word ‘hypocrite’ like we do in English. Hypocrites can put on a face in front of other people. But those faces are not genuine.

Now that we understand what a hypocrite is, we can better understand who the hypocrites are.

Jesus told us that the hypocrites love to sand and pray in the synagogue - the synagogue is the place of worship for the Jews. In the synagogue, the Jews would do similar things that we are doing here today - Praising God with songs, prayers, and hearing the Word of God.

These hypocrites loved to pray in the synagogues, and they love to stand at the street corners to pray as well. Now today, praying in the streets and marketplace is not a practice that we know much about. But understand, that the Jews had three hours of prayer in the day. And these Jewish hypocrites would plan their day just right so that when the hour of prayer came they would “so happen” to be in the public so that their prayers could be seen and heard by those around them.

Understand who the hypocrite are. They are the pious people who turns works of righteousness into a performance for the praise of other people. These actors need a stage for their performance, and their stage is among the people of God.

If we are going to learn how to pray, we must first learn this,

1. Authentic prayer is not a performance for the praise of man.

If we pray so that others can see how great we are, well then we entirely miss the point of prayer. As we continue to learn to pray in the weeks ahead we will hopefully see two predominant themes.

First, when we pray all our praise is directed to God. For he is great and mighty and worthy of all praise.

And second, when we pray about ourselves, we aren’t trying to elevate our status before God… we aren’t trying to show God or other people how great we are through prayer. We don’t pray about our sufficiency, but instead we cry to God because we are dependent on him. Through prayer, we express this dependance, our desperation, and our depravity as we cry out for mercy. In the weeks ahead, we will see that through prayer we show ourselves to be reliant on God for provision, for forgiveness, and for victory over sin. When we realize just how dependent we are, we will realize that we are unworthy of any praise at all.

Jesus taught us this lesson through a parable.

Luke 18:10–14 ESV

10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee, standing by himself, prayed thus: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I get.’ 13 But the tax collector, standing far off, would not even lift up his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified, rather than the other. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”

If in your prayers you wish to make much yourself, know that God will not hear you. So when you pray…

Matthew 6:5 (ESV)

you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.

Listen to the language of reward… if what you seek through prayer is not a reward from God, but instead a reward from man in the form of their praise, then recognize this; you will get what you want. You will get the praise of man… maybe you will, but if you pray for the praise of man, you can be certain that you will not be rewarded by God.

Think about it… is an attaboy from another person really better than hearing the words “well done thy good and faithful servant?” from our Master? - I don’t think so…

Attaboys are cheap and quickly forgotten

But the reward from the master is the unfading crown of glory

So pray for the praise of man. But instead, Jesus tells us to pray like this;

Matthew 6:6 ESV

6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

The irony of this verse is not missed by me…

I’m preaching about hypocrites who pray to be seen by others. Furthermore, Jesus tells us that when we pray, we are to do so in secret. And all the while here I am, on a platform with lights shining on my face, and I have already prayed in front of you all. Does this mean I’m the hypocrite? Well it might… but that’s not necessarily the case. And you’re not the judge of that. And in fact I’m not even the judge of myself on these matters. God is, and he will judge me if my prize in preaching and praying before you all is the praise of people.

This is a sin that I must put to death daily… so let me remind you why we are here this morning… we are here to give all praise and glory to God alone. And I get to be the friend of the bridegroom today telling you all the bride to look at your husband, that is Christ and love him with all your heart and give him all your praise!

This is why Jesus tells us to pray in secret… we should pray in secret, because prayer is not a performance.

But to be clear, not all public prayers are inauthentic.

For one, the prayer that Jesus is modeling is distinctly corporate - this means the Lord’s Prayer is to be prayed together

Our Father in Heaven...

Give us this day our daily bread

Forgive us our debts

These lines are filled with first person plural pronouns… because of this, we should recognize that we are to pray together

Not only this, but Jesus repeatedly prayed in front of other people

as did the early church throughout the book of Acts

I don’t want us to be confused in thinking that we can never pray in public. That isn’t what Jesus is trying to teach here.

Here’s what we should understand from v6. If you only pray when you are with other people, chances are you are just putting on a show.

Sure, Jesus prayed in front of others, but he would also go away to an isolated place to be alone with the Father. And the early church had public prayers, and prayer meetings. But the apostles also prayed in private even in the depths of prison. This is because prayer is not a performance for man, rather prayer is a means of talking with God.

But don’t worry if someone catches you praying… if someone sees you praying it’s not like God will then fail to hear your requests. The point is this; we must watch our motives when we pray. Do you pray for the praise of man? Many of us do. Remember, prayer is not a performance for man. Rather we are to pray so that we can talk God.

So where should we pray…

Well you should pray in secret… wake up early and pray in the kitchen before the rest of your family wakes up… pray in the car when you are alone and on your way to work… pray in your bedroom after everyone is asleep… this week, you should participate in the day of fasting and prayer. But don’t tell me about it. Don’t try to impress one another with your pious prayers. Fast in secret, and pray in secret.

Authentic prayer is not a performance for the praise of man, rather authentic prayer is the means by which we talk with God. So don’t pray like the hypocrites.

But this isn’t the only way in which we are instructed to not pray. Jesus continued,

Matthew 6:7 ESV

7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words.

First we are told not to pray like the Jewish hypocrites, and now Jesus instructs us not to pray like the Gentiles when they payed to their pagan gods.

Jesus said that the Gentiles would heap up empty phrases when they prayed thinking that they would be heard for their many words. The Gentiles would pray long and tedious prayers to pressure the gods to act on their behalf. Listen to the empty phrases that the prophets of Baal prayed from 1 Kings;

1 Kings 18:25–29 ESV

25 Then Elijah said to the prophets of Baal, “Choose for yourselves one bull and prepare it first, for you are many, and call upon the name of your god, but put no fire to it.” 26 And they took the bull that was given them, and they prepared it and called upon the name of Baal from morning until noon, saying, “O Baal, answer us!” But there was no voice, and no one answered. And they limped around the altar that they had made. 27 And at noon Elijah mocked them, saying, “Cry aloud, for he is a god. Either he is musing, or he is relieving himself, or he is on a journey, or perhaps he is asleep and must be awakened.” 28 And they cried aloud and cut themselves after their custom with swords and lances, until the blood gushed out upon them. 29 And as midday passed, they raved on until the time of the offering of the oblation, but there was no voice. No one answered; no one paid attention.

You see, the prophets of Baal believed that the longer their prayer was, and the more devout their devotion was, the more Baal would hear their prayers and act according to their requests. But even when they prayed all day long, and even when they cut themselves to get Baal’s attention, their prayers were not answered.

The gentiles used prayer as a performance to please the gods and pressure the them to act.

Jesus instructs us not to pray this way. We aren’t to use prayer to try to get God to do what we think he should do.

Here’s what I want us to see

2. Authentic prayer is not a performance to pressure God.

We see people try to pressure and persuade others in all kinds of relationships.

Children will complain and cry after a parent denies their request to try to get their way… My kids know how to pressure me!

As parents we try to persuade our children as well…when my son keeps toughing my daughter’s face it try to persuade him to play with toys instead of his sister’s eyes.

Salesmen are experts in persuasion. Salesmen know how to pressure and persuade clients so they can close the sale.

It’s not just salesmen who aim to be persuasive… Even as a evangelist and preacher, my goal is to persuade people to follow Jesus… now some of us might be skeptical of a persuasive preacher… but this is how Pauls’ preaching was described… but Paul regularly was described as trying to persuade others to follow Jesus. So too, as a preacher I try to persuade you all with helpful and thoughtful illustrations, and with words that might help you all understand and obey God’s Word. When I preach I want to be persuasive. My aim in being persuasive is not for my gain, but for your good and God’s glory.

But persuasion is not the purpose of prayer… Every one of us knows a thing or two about how to how to persuade and pressure others so that we might get our way, and as sinners, we often try to do the same thing with God through prayer.

But Jesus tells us not to pray like the pagans… why?

Matthew 6:8 ESV

8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

Understand what prayer is not…

When we pray, we aren’t trying to pressure or persuade God to do something for us.

In fact, when we pray, we are not informing God of something that he doesn’t already know.

As a parent, I often don’t know what my kids need. When my son Peter wants a cup of milk, he needs to tell me that he is thirsty for milk. But until he asks, I do not know what he needs. With my daughter Lydia it’s a lot more difficult to know what she needs, because she is a baby and she doesn’t know how to talk. So when she is crying, I to try to figure out what is making her upset… Does she have a dirty dipper? Is she hungry? Is she teething? Does she just miss her momma? And like many dads, I often fail to understand what she needs.

But this is not the case of your heavenly Father, for your heavenly Father knows exactly what you need before you even ask. So understand this; when we pray, we aren’t informing God of something that he is unaware of.

Some of us may have never known this about prayer… some of us might even wonder why we should pray if we are not informing God. Let me tell you three reasons we are to pray;

First, and most obvious, we should pray because God tells us to… After telling us that our Father knows what we need before we ask, Jesus doesn’t tell us to therefore not pray… but instead he says, “pray then like this.” Just because God knows what we need, doesn’t mean that we are to not pray. Instead, we are to pray and make all of our requests known to God.

Second, we are to pray, because prayer is one of the means of receiving from God. In other words, we pray because God answers our prayers… While our Father knows what we need before we ask… James 4:2 also tells us that we “do not have because [we] do not ask” When the church prayed for Peter in prison… they weren’t informing God of what was happening. But when they prayed, God answered their prayers by delivered Peter from prison.

And why does God work this way? Why not just give us what we need apart from prayer since he already knows what we need? The reason God meets our needs through prayer is so we would rightly recognize that all good things come from God. And when we recognize that what we need comes from God, then we will all the more give him praise for his goodness.

So understand we should pray, because God answers prayer, and when he answers our prayers we are to give him praise.

But don’t think that our prayers persuade God to do good for us…

3. Prayer is not a performance.

Prayer is not a performance for the praise of man, or a performance to pressure God.

Often times, I hear people say they don’t want to pray because they don’t know what to say…

If you are afraid of prayer because others might judge your prayer…don’t worry about it. You aren’t praying to please them anyway. Just talk to God!

But what if I don’t say the right words and God is not pleased with my prayer? Again, prayer isn’t even a performance for God! God isn’t pleased with you because of your profound prayers. God is pleased with you, because of the perfect work of Christ on your behalf. So don’t worry about having the right words when you pray. God already knows what you need. You simply need to ask for it. And you don’t need to ask with a booming voice, and with a rousing plea. Jesus said ask, and we will receive, seek and we will find, and to knock and the door will be opened.

JC Ryle put it this way,

“Fear not because your prayer is stammering, your words feeble, and your language poor. Jesus can understand you.” - JC Ryle

Paul says it this way in Romans 8

Romans 8:26 ESV

26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.

If we think prayer persuades God, we don’t understand what the purpose of prayer is… and more than this, if we pray to pressure God through prayer, it is owing to the fact that we do not know who we are praying to.

When we pray to pressure God, it shows that we believe him to be greedy rather than generous

When we pray long prayers thinking that we will be heard for our many words, it shows that we think that God is too busy to hear us

When we pray like the gentiles, it is owing to the fact that we believe that God only answers those special prayers that are worthy because of human works.

Heaping up empty phrases in order to pressure God into getting what we want, it is owing to our ignorance of the goodness of God.

If we want to learn how to pray, we need to not only understand what prayer is… but we need to also understand who we pray to.

Jesus tells us,

Matthew 6:7–8 ESV

7 “And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. 8 Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.

This is the second time in these four verses that God has been called our Father. Notice who we pray to… When we pray, we are not getting the attention to a distant deity. Rather, when we pray, we talk to our heavenly Father who has brought us into his family.

I’m stepping on Tait’s toes just a bit, because next week he will is preaching on the opening of the Lord’s prayer, where we pray “Our Father in heaven.” But we can never be reminded enough about the special relationship that we have with our God. We have been adopted into the family of God, which means God is our Father.

This might seem like a simple truth, but don’t let the familiarity of this relationship with you earthy father your broken relationships with your dad make you overlook what it means for God to be your Father.

The Gentiles believed that they needed to pray in a way to earn the attention of their gods. But we pray knowing that God already cares for us because we are his children. We don’t pray to a god who is far off… some distant deity who we have no access to. We pray to our Father who loves his children and is pleased to give us good gifts!

There is so much to be said about this relationship, and we will hear of it more next week.

But understand this, your heavenly Father knows what you need, and he is pleased to give his children every good gift. So pray to him so that you can receive from him.

But some of us might be thinking… God hasn’t given me what I need… and I’ve even prayed for years, but God still hasn’t given me what I need.

Some have prayed for a better job - but are stuck in the same old job

Prayed for a better marriage - or for those who are single, perhaps you have prayed to be married - but relationships are still broken

Prayed for obedient children who serve the Lord… while others still have no children and are praying that God would give you kids - God hasn’t given me what I have asked for

Prayed for healing - there is still pain and I might even die

Does God really know what I need, and is he really please to give it to me?

Understand this; Not only does God know what you need before you ask. He even knows what you need more than you do.

My son would would like to think that he needs candy for dinner. But I know better than to give him candy for dinner… he needs something with substance that will nourish him and help him grow. You see, there are times when I know what my son needs more than he does.

Even more so, God knows what you need more than you do. And in the abundance of his love, he has richly provided you with all that you need. In fact, he has given you the greatest gift by sending his Son to die in you place. You didn’t ask your Father to do this. You didn’t even know that we needed salvation. But God knew even before you asked. And in love, he sent his Son to die so that you would be made a child of God and have eternal life.

But what about my suffering!

If you are suffering, then pray! Go to your Father and make your requests known to him! Even pray with persistence just as we are repeatedly instructed to pray throughout the Scriptures! Paul certainly did this. Listen to Paul’s repeated prayers;

2 Corinthians 12:7–8 ESV

7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord! Paul said… Have you prayed like this? Father I need your help! Deliver me from this suffering please!

Did God not hear Paul’s prayer? Did God not give Paul what he needed? No and no, for God responded to Paul’s please with these words,

2 Corinthians 12:9 ESV

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

This is a mystery that we cannot fully understand. But by faith we believe that God knows all what we need, and will give us all that that is required for life and for godliness.

And if you have Christ, then you lack nothing.

So let us pray with this in mind… Our heavenly Father knows what we need before we ask. Our Father answers prayer. And he will give us all that we need, for he has already given us his Son so that we might have life.

So let us pray. But not like the hypocrites who pray for the praise of man, and not like the Gentiles who pray to pressure God. Rather let us pray to our Father, knowing that in him we lack nothing. And and may our prayer lead to our loudest praise. Let’s pray.