Every Relationship Lived for Christ

Colossians 3:17–4:6 ESV

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ. For the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done, and there is no partiality. Masters, treat your bondservants justly and fairly, knowing that you also have a Master in heaven. Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison— that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.

Scripture: Colossians 3:17-4:6

Sermon Title: Every Relationship Lived for Christ

Here we are in our final message of this series through the book of Colossians. The reason why we have been working through this letter to the early church is because this time has been the season of Epiphany. It is a season in which the church has historically celebrated the effect of Jesus having come into the world—and how the knowledge of him and salvation through him alone has spread.

Over these last five weeks, we have been working through and hopefully taking in the doctrinal teachings that Paul has written as well as the call for believers to examine their actions, their everyday virtues, and to align themselves with Christ. Here at the end of the letter, before he closes with many personal greetings, he is very straight-forward about how Christians are to live with one another. We are going to start with the final verse we read last week, because all these instructions come out of the mindset that all is in Christ and all are to be living in thanks to God. We will let the flow of the passage guide us as we look at three types of relationships: household, believer/missionary, and outsider relationships.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, it is kind of interesting how it has happened that right around the week of Valentine’s Day we have worked through passages that draw attention to some of the most intimate expressions of love between a man and a woman, and also now come to spend a bit of focus on the loving relationships between all family members. Valentine’s Day carries all of this build-up—it is the day for us to best express our love. Hopefully, it is a fun holiday and can spark our love! But it is not to be the only day we show love to one another, romantic or non-romantic. Hopefully we know and practice a lifestyle of love 365 days a year.

This is what Paul was calling the Colossian believers and all of the church to in what we read in Colossians 3 and 4. This kind of living is not just for Valentine’s Day, not just when we feel like it, but it should be every day, in every relationship. It is texts like this that remind us that family communication and relationships are not only earthly things that psychologists and counselors can talk about. How we relate is not just subject matter for the opinions and reflections that come in the “Parents” magazines that my wife and I have now been getting in the mail. God himself has a design for our relationships; he has a desired way for us to live and relate to one another. His desire for our relationships is based on the way that he himself relates to us. As we read Paul challenging them to kill the old outfit and a put on the new one last week, he now puts forth how in every relationship being focused on Christ will change how we might tend to live. In recognizing Christ’s supremacy over all things, we live with one another to give thanks to God.

Let’s look at the relationships that are before us. First, comes the household relationships—those that are closest to us; the ones we are born into and that we tend to be most committed to. In our society, we track mainly with the first four roles, but in Paul’s day it would include the master and slave dynamics as well. To sum up the commands we find here—Wives submit to your husbands. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children obey your parents. Fathers, and this can include mothers as well, do not embitter your children. Slaves obey your masters, working with all your heart, because truly you are serving the Lord Christ. Masters provide for your slaves.

Remember last week that love binds all the virtues of Christian living together. It is that kind of love that is coming through in the way that Paul calls believers to live together. This love that is selfless, respectful, a love that doesn’t just not burden one another, but that seeks to unburden those we live with. For husbands and wives, the love between two people that have covenanted themselves to one another is such that imitates what Christ desires for himself and the church. It is a love that wants what is best for the other person. A wife will not put her husband down, a husband will not humiliate his wife; when that love is in place, neither will think less of the other, but they will cherish and encourage one another.

In verse 18, the submission of a wife to her husband leads to this phrase, “as is fitting in the Lord.” That finds greater expression in another of Paul’s letters, Ephesians chapter 5—just as believers recognize Christ as the one leading us, so too a wife should be able to look to her husband full of trust for his leading. For the Christian husband that is a great responsibility, one that we cannot take lightly. We must understand that if we are to seriously be leading our wives, our homes, then we are called to sacrifice ourselves for our families—just as Christ gave himself for the church—we lead by following him and his example. Both husbands and wives are called to live with great support for one another.

From marriage, Paul turns to the relationship of children and parents. To the children he speaks first; “Obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” Isn’t that something, boys and girls, young people? God walks alongside his people, teaching them, and in such a way that it’s not just when you reach a certain age that you can follow him. God calls us, especially when we are growing up to commit ourselves to him—this is one of the ways we can do that. Our parents do not want you to obey them just because it makes them feel good or it makes their lives a bit easier sometimes, but this is something that God calls us to. We went through the 10 commandments earlier—number 5 on that list of ways of living to honor God and one another—is to obey our parents. The Lord is happy when we do that!

There are limits to how far parents can push though—verse 21, fathers, parents, do not embitter your children, do not provoke them—or they will become discouraged. That is not to say that we cannot discipline our children, that is not to say that we should give into our children when they show any sign of resistance. No, it is that godly parents would not treat our children unfairly. As adults, we have grown up; we know what is needed to live and to be healthy.

As our heavenly Father, God knows our needs, and he responds by providing every good thing for us. Whatever good and necessary things we can provide our children—especially to nurture them in the faith, that is what we, parents, are called to do. We please the Lord by being good fathers and mothers; not nagging kids, not abusing them, but seeing to it that they are raised well and that they would be raised in the Lord. Again, these are not just psychological theories that someone has come up with—these are spiritual instructions, let us heed them.

Then we come to the third household pairing, slaves and masters. Slaves were people who gave their service indebted to a master. Paul does not strongly condemn this relationship, but he recognizes that if is to be in place, particularly among believers—then there are guidelines to follow. For the Christian slave, their service was to be consistent, to work honestly, not only when they were being watched. They should do everything wholeheartedly, as if for the Lord—not just human masters; indeed it is Christ that they are serving! There is reward for them, no matter how bleak things may be.

So too, for the Christian master, there is a fitting way to treat those who work for them, that is, to be right and fair. The power they held was not to treat them as less than human. The ability they had to own the will and service of their slaves was not to break their spirit, was not to mistreat them. While our system of employees and employers is not the same as slaves and masters, these are basic principles that we can apply in our working conditions and relationships as well. For employees, that we would work whether we are being watched or not, that we would see labor not as evil but as that which can glorify God—no matter how small or insignificant our work might at times seem. Employers are still called to be fair and righteous in how they pay, in how they treat, in their expectations, and in their correction of workers.

Each of these relationships is to image different facets of what God’s relationship with his people is like. To call Jesus our Lord is to call him our Master—that is to put ourselves in the position of servants, slaves to him—we are completely indebted to Christ. Think about what that means for how we live—do we sense he watches us when we worship him and so that is when we put on a good show? After worship and Sunday School or following a mission trip, do we have a great appreciation towards him for a time, but when that fades then we go back to our old ways? If Christ is our Lord, that is what we profess, then may we live in a way of not just wanting to win his favor, but we should live desiring for his love and his example to branch out into all of our relationships.

From this point Paul asks for the church to be devoted to prayer, prayer that is watchful—alert, and also thankful. Prayer that would extend to those ministering for Christ, that opportunities would open, and that he himself would be able to speak clearly. This is the personal message from the apostle Paul; he has been encouraged so much by what this church has been about, how they have shared their faith and love, but he encourages them to keep on it. What is the most important thing that believers can be involved in to if they have Christ’s love in their hearts and desire to express their thankfulness to God? They can pray.

We can pray for ourselves as individuals, for our situation, our circumstances. Prayer is not a selfish act though, and for that we recognize Paul is seeking to push them from just focusing on themselves and their loved ones. Vibrant believers will be dedicated to lifting up one another up, especially for the mission of spreading God’s word. We have the opportunity to be praying for those who have taken up the profession, the calling of pastor, of chaplain, of missionary, but we are not limited to only those people. Paul wants them to pray for him, that his work would succeed, but his desire is that they would pray for all who have opportunity to testify to what Christ has done.

In the everyday relationships, we must be willing to lift up our Christian brothers and sisters from this community and around the world. Our prayers extend to include their needs, their joys, and also their opportunities to share the mystery of Christ. We are people who trust that God hears and he acts—whether we are eloquent in our speech or whether we stumble, not able to figure out the right or best words to say. We do not just wish or want good luck for people, but we want God to be at work for all of his people, and we need to express thanks when his love has been shown.

Paul does not leave things simply at those who are on the inside of faith, he also teaches about relating with “outsiders.” These are the people who were not like the Colossian believers, with those who were not in the faith. “Be wise…Make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” In a way, Paul is coming full circle for the church in Colosse. They were not outsiders in the sense of being outside of the faith, but they were strangers to him. The wisdom that he calls them to exercise, and to utilize their opportunities with people outside of themselves is something that he lived out in his life.

It can be easy for us as believers to shelter ourselves—to look at our situation as people who have been saved, and completely block out those who are not there yet. It is easy to live in fear that if we would associate with non-believers, with outsider, then we will be corrupted. Yet here we see, be wise—there is room to put our guard up, to stay in the bounds of our faith when we face sin—but with maturity we are called to action, “make the most of every opportunity.” We are called to be willing to leave the friendly confines of where we feel safe to present the hope that we have to those who are hopeless.

Paul tells us how to do it, be full of grace and be seasoned with salt. Be full of grace—both telling of the grace of Christ for all who repent and gracious in our own attitudes. Be seasoned with salt—salt preserves, and this saying means to hold on to purity, to truth. Just as Christ was full of grace and truth, that is what believers are called to be as well. If we have opportunity to speak to someone, a stranger, someone completely different from us, someone who does not know and maybe even lives offensively to the gospel—if we have set our hearts, our minds, our lives on what is above—then it is our duty to share the hope we have while still speaking that which Scripture tells us is right and true.

All these things come out of the training of our faith. If we have been reconciled to God through Christ, this is our calling—this is how you and I are to live with another and with those around us. The Spirit is able and willing to work in our hearts. To those who are too harsh with their spouses and their children. To those who lack respect for their husband or wife, who are disobedient to the requests and discipline of their parents. To those who take advantage of their employees or who disregard their employers—all of these relationships have a design that God desires. It is only when we have the love of Christ that we can honor him in them.

Are we willing to live in this all of the time? Are we willing to put the eternal and abundant love that God lavishes on us into practice in every relationship we have? Christ came to save us, but he also came to change and renew our hearts by bringing wisdom that he alone can offer. If we have been reconciled to God through him, let us live in the power that he gives to us that all may know the gift we have. Amen.