PM103_sermon #1 manuscript

Homiletical Proposition: Develop a keen eye for godliness in a woman

INTRODUCTION (2 minutes)

Back in Korea when I was a little boy, I remember watching a show on TV about a thief who is attempting to rob a house of a very wealthy man.  The problem is that the house was guarded by a watchdog.  This dog had thwarted this thief’s numerous attempts to break into the house.  I remember being very impressed with this dog’s professionalism and excellence in what he did.  The thief finally came up with a plan to get rid of this dog.  His plan was to throw some poisoned beef over the tall brick fence surrounding the house and kill the dog before making his move.  Sadly, the dog went for the T-bone and it was dead within minutes.  I don’t remember how the show went the rest of the way, but was just so saddened by the death of this loyal watchdog—a death that could’ve been avoided had it overcame the temptation to indulge in a piece of  juicy T-bone steak.

I can see that you and I have at least three things in common: You are male, You’ve all gone through puberty, and finally you are preparing for ministry of some sort: whether you are preparing for a pastorate, missions, or academic ministry.  Then, I say that we are very much alike this watchdog.  Like the watchdog that had a job to do for his master, we have or will have a job to do for our master. But there is one more similarity between the watchdog and us: If you have ever given a woman the “double-look”  (demonstrate the double look), then like the watchdog had a desire for juicy meat, you have the desire for female companionship, or as God put it in the early days, we have the need for a suitable helper.  Some of you might say, “I have the gift of singleness!”  You sure may, but as my wise mother told me, “you will never know that you have the gift of singleness until the day you die.”  So, we all need to be prudent in choosing a woman as a life-long partner in marriage. You do not want to be like the watchdog, jumping and committing yourself to the first juicy piece of meat that falls in your way—only to suffer the consequences of its poison. We must develop the ability to discern godliness in women.  Well, let’s turn to Proverbs 31:30 and see what our Master has written for us in choosing a mate: (read) “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”  In this verse, God has identified an obstacle in the way we may choose a woman and provided a solution to this problem.  Let’s take a deeper look into it and see how we can apply God’s instruction to our lives when choosing a mate.

BODY (7.5 minutes)

PROBLEM (2.5 min)

            Once I asked a friend in college why he was dating his current girlfriend. His response was simple: “Because she is beautiful!” Duh! Like my friend, the common belief is that if a woman is physically attractive, she is worth our pursuit because she must be attractive in all aspects.  But The first part of Proverbs 31:30 clearly warns us against this kind of mindset when engaging in a relationship. It says, “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.”

This warning can be better understood when we consider that it is part of the concluding remarks after Proverbs 31:10-27.  The passage describes a woman who is an excellent wife whose value is far above jewels.  She is generous, hard-working, self-sufficient, economically capable, and prudent.  But not once, does this passage applaud her aesthetic qualities.  Instead it warns the reader that “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain.”

You see, aesthetic beauty attracts us immediately and deceives us with promises of lasting satisfaction, lasting happiness, lasting excellence.  But it will not deliver what it promised.  Instead, it will only deliver short-lived euphoria and leave you empty and destitute of everything that you invested to seize what it originally promised. A young man took a trip to Las Vegas for a Bachelor Party.  Boy, did he party.  He went to a club at night and saw a beautiful woman, dressed in Vegas style, whatever that means. He started to talking her and was charmed by her attractiveness.  They danced, drank together, and eventually had a one night stand.  He came back home and after awhile, he found out that he had contracted HPV, one of the most common STDs that can easily lead to cervical cancer in women, and gave it to his fiancée.  For him, the beauty in Vegas was surely deceitful and her charm vain, and all he had left was an STD and infected fiancée, as well as a guilty conscience and a ruined relationship with irreparable damage. So, friends, be warned, the promises of physical attraction and charm are a lie and are vain, like a puff of smoke.

SOLUTION (2.5 min)

Then, we ask, how do we identify a woman who is truly excellent and worthy of our pursuit and a life-long partnership?  The solution is simple: The second part of our passage, Proverbs 31:30 says “But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”  We just learned that aesthetic beauty deceives us with promises of lasting enjoyment of a relationship and excellence.  But, God’s Word simply states that we ought to be looking for a woman who fears God.  This passage is not just an explanation that a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.  It is a strong advice designed to make you act.   When my mom says to me, frying darker vegetables and then the onions will make stirfry look better, she isn’t just telling me a trivial fact.  She is strongly recommending that I fry carrots before onions next time I cook for my family.  Likewise, when this proverb says “a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised,” it’s telling us to look for a woman who fears the Lord if we want to avoid the troubles of being deceived by external beauty.  Just as we can see external beauty, we can seethe fear of God in a woman.  As the context tells us from vv10-27, it will be observable through her god-honoring lifestyle, through her diligence, self-sacrifice, prudence and concern for others.  While physical beauty holds empty promises, a godly lifestyle reaps lasting honor.  The phrase “she shall be praised” in Hebrew is in the verb stem called Hithpael, which indicates iterative results.  In other words, it means that she shall be continuously praised.  The honor bestowed upon her for her lifestyle will be a lasting honor.  CPL Duane Dewey of the 1st Marine Division in the Korean War received the medal of honor for pushing aside his comrades and jumping on a live grenade during a fierce fight, saving many lives through his self-sacrifice.  The lasting honor that he received from his actions is just an indication of the type of soldier he was.  Likewise, a god-fearing woman will display many acts of godliness to her husband, children, and neighbors, and she will be honored continuously for the positive impacts to all those around her. 

 APPLICATION (2.5 min)

Proverbs 31:30 is a mother’s counsel to an ancient Near Eastern King name Lemuel.  The mother tells her king-son that he will face the troubles of being deceived by the physical beauty of women, and that he can find a worthy wife by developing a keen eye for godliness in women.  Lemuel is a derivative form of the name Lael which means “Belongs to God.” He was a man who belonged to God with a mission to rule his subjects.  We likewise belong to God and are given a mission to serve Christ and the Body of Christ.  We are urged to be a prepared vessel for the master, to flee from youthful lusts and to pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace with those who call on the name of the Lord.  So it is imperative that we take every measure to ensure that we are not deceived by physical attraction and carefully choose a mate whom we can confidently pursue a godly lifestyle.  How do we go about this? Develop a keen eye for godliness in women—so that we aren’t deceived by physical attraction.

First, Make Biblical Accounts of honorable women the foundation of your attraction.  Let me give you some practical tips. Think of some of the girls that you thought you were in love with or the last celebrity that you googled on the web to see how gracefully she was aging. Then make a list of the qualities you saw in her that attracted you.  For instance, it was Amber Johnson in 5th grade. I thought about her night and day.  She had beautiful blonde hair, played the flute, was athletic, and funny.  Then, pick a Bible passage that gives an account of a godly woman.  If you can’t think of any off the top of your head, let me give you some suggestions: Sarah, Miriam, Rahab, Deborah, Naomi & Ruth, Esther and Elizabeth.  Study the passages about them and make a list of the qualities of theirs portray them as godly. Rahab believed in God of Israel, didn’t rebel against God like all her people but staked her life to serve the Lord’s people. So this list may look like: faith in God, rejection of ungodly influences, total commitment to God’s program, etc.  Now compare the two lists and identify the discrepancies. If you can’t find the biblical qualities in the woman that you are attracted to, then be assured that you are deceived by her beauty and charm.

For Single Men, such Bible studies will train you eyes to see the areas in which you may be vulnerable to be deceived by physical attraction and to guard you from them, and will train your eyes to see the true and inner beauty and be attracted to it.  For married men, this kind of Bible study will help you to honor and encourage your wife in her godly pursuits, so that she can become even more godly and praiseworthy.

CONCLUSION (2 minutes)

About 5 years ago, I went to Thailand on a mission trip.  Our team stayed at a local guesthouse in a town called Chiangmai.  I was very impressed with the watchdog that the owners had.  It always stayed by the owner or the main office, a well-trained dog.  Being a dog-lover, I wanted to befriend it and tossed it a big juicy piece meat.  It immediately growled at me and didn’t even smell the meat.  I would peek from time to time into the office window to see if the dog had eaten it, but no, it wouldn’t eat it.  Eventually, I told the owner how impressed I was with the dog.  He went to the office and gave the dog an ok and the dog went for the meat.  You see, the dog from the first story died even though it was an excellent guard dog because it went for a pleasure that wasn’t master-approved.  The second dog had learned to trust the master and to perceive its strongest desires from the master’s point of view.  He only went for the master-approved meat.  Like I said in the beginning, we are like watchdogs, given a task by our master.  Let us not jump on any juicy meat we see, but learn to trust our Master and see the world through His eyes, so that we will only commit to the Master-approved woman, for beauty is deceitful and charm is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.