Releasing Our Regrets

John 21:15–17 NASB95

15 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” 16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.

One of my father’s brothers was what we call “the life of the party”. To a certain extent, he kept the family in order, making sure everybody behaved in love and like family. He used to say, “when you come in this house, you are an Evans”. “And ain’t gone be no anti-social mess when you’re in this house”. He could also cook his tail off. As kids and his nephews and nieces, we loved his chitlins and greens. On top of that, he was comical on a whole nother level. When he got sick in 2011, I visited him in the hospital, and he looked at me and said “Bubba, I’m gone be alright”. In January 2012, his health turned for the worse, and I got a call saying to get to my grandmother’s house quick. I got Gabby dressed, and as we were walking out the door about 45 minutes later, I got another call saying he had just passed. I deeply regretted that I didn’t move faster. Why didn’t I go over there the day before? All these questions and thoughts around if I could’ve at least seen Uncle Skipper one more time before he breathed his last. It stuck with me for a minute, until one day I learned to release them from my heart. How can we release our regrets?

In John 21, John records one of Jesus’ appearances to his disciples after his resurrection. He states it was his 3rd appearance.

First appearance was on the day he resurrected. They were struggling to believe it, because they were still so shocked by his death and fearing further violence from the Jews. Emotionally, they are all over the place. Supposed to be having joy from belief, but still doubting.

Second appearance was 8 days later when Thomas was now present, and Jesus rebuked him for his doubt and urged faith.

We are not told how long between his 2nd and 3rd appearance. But we can infer it was over the next few days or weeks, because 21:1 says the 3rd was at the Sea of Tiberias or Sea of Galilee. Which is known to be roughly a 4 day journey. 7 of Jesus’ disciples are there, and Peter initiates the idea of going fishing. They fish all night and catch nothing. Gaps between appearances, leave them grappling with the reality. Jesus on the shore, throw the net on the side and catch. John discerns it’s Jesus, Peter, in Peter fashion jumps in and swims. Jesus already has breakfast ready. Peter then becomes a primary focus of this appearance.

More than these? - Good intentions

Strikingly, in front of all, this question comes up. Peter is singled out. Why more than these? Pre-resurrection Peter, was audacious with a lot. Particularly, if all of them fall away, I will never. I will go to prison and death with you. Good intentions.

Application: The process of regret begins with good intentions. Something we want to do, plan to do, etc. At times we’ll affirm verbally what we will and won’t do.

Peter responds like, of course Jesus, you know you are my brother. Jesus says, my task for you is to feed my lambs, or believers.

Do you love me?

In this kind of setting, being asked twice, would typically raise a flag or two. Like Jesus, I just told you. Plus both times, Jesus calls him Simon, not Peter.

Do you love me like your family?

Jesus asks a third time, and this time he uses the same term Peter has been speaking. Then the text says Peter experienced hurt.

Peter’s lingering hurt

This hurt isn’t new. No doubt this being the third time, triggered Peter’s mind. Why? Because Peter, you audaciously with good intentions, claimed how loyal your love was to Jesus before he died. But in the thick of the night of his arrest, you showed something else. Physical war, ready, chopped off an ear. But by God’s terms, unprepared. A little girl: You one of his disciples? Peter: No I’m not. Again, same question, I’m not. Then “I saw you in the garden with him”. Naw naw!! I promise. The rooster crowed, and Peter started crying hard.

Application: There are attitudes and behaviors we have at times against Jesus. Sometimes we don’t realize it. Failing to live up to something. Hits our senses, it creates sadness. I should’ve, shouldn’t have, etc.

Lingering effect

It not only produced hurt, but for Peter, imagine his state of mind those 3 days Jesus was dead. Then hearing about the resurrection, Peter entering the tomb, Luke says he went off to his home by himself. No doubt impacted his faith. Furthermore, he initiated fishing.

Application: Lingering regrets can impact faith, how you think GOD views you. Impact your activity, direction, plans, etc.

Jesus’ grace and forgiveness solution

Even through Peter’s hurt, he refuses to respond audaciously about himself, instead leans on the omniscience of Jesus. Because Jesus already predicted he would do it. Jesus does this intentionally. To cure this wound, Jesus reopened it. But then Jesus demonstrates how much grace and forgiveness he has when he responds the same, Feed my sheep!! I’m still giving you a task.

Application: Whatever failure, denial, mistake, we’ve made, own the reality. Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve will not change the reality. Realize that Jesus forgives us!! If he does, forgive yourself. GOD still has a mission for us.