Train up your children.

Introduction

We’ve mentioned, in passing, some of the principles that we will focus on in tonight’s message.

If we don’t teach our children, someone else will.

As parents, there is much we can do, as we raise our children, to prepare them for maturity and adulthood.

In tonight’s passage we see a biblical principle that will help us set up our children for the greatest chance at spiritual success.

Train up a child...

Notice that there is no stated subject in this sentence.

We have an imperative, here, a command to action.

But, who is to initiate this action?

Certainly, it is not the child; they are the ones being acted upon.

Every child is being trained by someone.

Parents who say that don’t want to influence their kids one way or another, are not empowering their children.

They are leaving them exposed to other parties who do want to influence their kids one way or another.

Do you remember when you were in school and it felt like every teacher thought their class was the most important class? They wanted you to spend the most time on their project. They wanted you to study the hardest for their test. This is what our kids are facing.

Every influence wants your kid to be dedicated to them.

School

Sports

Job (teens)

Clubs

Friends

If you abdicate your role, then others will happily jump in and train your children for you.

There are plenty of groups that see the value in training children.

They don’t see them as a hindrance, or a burden, or a distraction.

They see them as the future.

Let’s go back to that word “train”.

How many of you are familiar with the Jewish celebration of Hanukkah?

Hanukkah, the feast of dedication commemorates the time in Jewish history where the Jews cleansed and rededicated the temple.

The temple was intended for a singular purpose; worship and service of Yahweh.

A man named Antiochus had gone into the temple and offered a pig to Zeus.

He had desecrated and distracted from the intended purpose of the temple.

After the Jews regained control of the temple they cleaned it and reinstituted it’s limited focus on God.

What does any of this have to do with your children?

This word “train” is the same root word for Hanukkah.

“Hanak” means to dedicate, set aside, narrow, hedge in.

It was used mostly at the completion of a house, altar, or temple.

As these structures were put into use, the dedication limited them to be used for the purpose that they were constructed.

If we are going to train up our children, then we must dedicate them to the purpose for which they were made.

Our children were not created for the purpose of supplying the government with good citizens.

Nor, were they created to fill the school systems with good students.

Their purpose is not to be a good athlete, a good musician, a good employee, or even a good church member.

Our kids, as we have said, are given to us so that we can dedicate them to being a good follower/disciple of Jesus Christ.

Now, I would submit to you that a child who is trained to be a good follower of Jesus Christ will see the benefits of that dedication affect every other area of life.

He will be a good citizen.

She will be a good student.

Our kids will be the right kind of athletes, musicians, employees, and definitely church members.

We need to train our kids in the lesson that Jesus trained His disciples in Matthew 6:33

Matthew 6:33 KJV 1900

33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

How and when are we supposed to do this?

In the way he should go...

There are several ideas colliding in this phrase, that work together to paint a picture of practical biblical parenting.

The first idea that is present is the idea that parents have to be active from the beginning to the end of a child’s upbringing.

The statement “in the way” is inclusive, it applies to the whole journey, but it is also specific in referring to the beginning of a journey.

Think, if you would about the signage you may come across at the trail head for a hike you are going to embark on.

You’ll find all kinds of pertinent information regarding the trail that you are about to traverse.

Distance, altitude, wildlife, and other information helps you know what to expect.

Then, along the trail, there are markers letting you know that you are still going the right way.

Parenting is a lot like this.

Don’t think about all of a childhood as a single trail; think of it as a collection of trails.

Infants

Toddlers

Children

Tweens

Teens

Adulthood

Secondly, we must prepare our children at the start of each new phase of their journey for how they can follow Jesus through this new stage.

Show him the duties, the dangers, and the blessings of the path; give him directions how to perform the duties, how to escape the dangers, and how to secure the blessings, which all lie before him.1

With each trail, these things change.

Of course, along the path we try to guide them and keep them from getting off track.

In order for a trail marker to be a help to the people on the trail, it too has to be on the trail.

A trail marker that is 100 yards off the trail does a hiker no good.

The same goes for a parent that expects their kids to stay on a path that they, themselves, are unwilling to inhabit.

If we, as parents are going to train up our children, if we are going to dedicate them to God, we must be prepared to prepare them for the path ahead of them.

It’s not just adulthood.

It’s lower & upper elementary, Jr. & Sr. High.

It’s puberty.

It’s the opposite sex.

It’s increasing freedom.

Shame on the parent who sends their kids down a path without doing everything in their power to prepare them for the journey ahead.

And when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This is a hard statement.

Is it a promise?

Is it a principle?

Commentaries are equally split.

For everyone that says this is a promise, there is another that says it is a principle.

I am going to tell you my interpretation of this verse.

There is only one correct interpretation, it may not be mine.

I believe this is a principle that details a matter of probability rather than certainty.

Proverbs are not always meant to be promises.

Even in this chapter there are statements such as this that are obviously not promises.

For example, Proverbs 22:29

Proverbs 22:29 KJV 1900

29 Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; He shall not stand before mean men.

As we talked about last week, every child, regardless of upbringing, must eventually make their own decisions regarding whether or not they will follow Jesus.

Though a parent’s influence on their children cannot be overstated, individuals are responsible for their actions.

A family may have multiple children in it, and some may decide to follow God while others do not.

This does not take away from a parent’s responsibility or culpability for failing to prepare their children.

It does offer comfort to the parent who looks back with clear conscience at the training that was offered to a now-wayward child.

Does reading this verse as a principle take away from it’s importance?

No.

It teaches us that through training and preparation, a parent can lessen the chances or the likelihood that a child will depart from following the Lord in adulthood.

It says that we can set our kids up for spiritual success.

It says we can make it harder for them to depart from the Lord.

One commentator said that this passage is like telling parents to plant hedges on either side of their children’s path.

It won’t prevent them from going astray, but it will make it a lot harder and less likely.

Proper training makes it much more likely that our children will succeed in their spiritual lives.

Isn’t that what we should be dedicating them to?

The takeaway: Christian parents need to commit to training their children from an early age and prior to every major life stage.