YOU ARE MY LORD: THE NECESSITY OF PROPER SELF-TALK

Opening:

Good morning everyone. I am humbled to again be able to share God’s word with you today. For those visiting today or viewing online, I am Pastor Ben Sexton and this morning I want to spend our time together talking about a topic that we are all familiar with. But first let us pray. As I was saying today we are going to discuss a topic that all of us are familiar with. Some of us may have a higher education in studying this topic, but all of us are aware and familiar with it as we all experience it every day. That topic is self-talk. Now I am going to guess that maybe for some of you that by me simply stating that term, self-talk, that there was an uncomfortable emotional reaction inside. Maybe a tightness of chest, or a slight grasp of breath. I’ll be honest, if I had a stack of index cards with different topics about my personal life to talk about. The one labeled “self-talk” I would keep shuffling to the bottom just to avoid it.

When discussing a topic such as this it is always best to start by defining our terms. So, what then is self-talk? According to healthline.com, self-talk is an internal dialogue that is influenced by the subconscious mind, and reveals a person’s thoughts, beliefs, questions, and ideas. As far as the question does a person’s self-talk ever stop I cannot answer that. For me my self-talk is there to say goodnight to me, it greets me in the morning, and sometimes even wakes me up at night just to see how I am doing. I honestly cannot remember a time when my self-talk stopped.

In wanting to know more about self-talk, I quickly realized that this topic gets a lot of attention, and the narrative is that you want to have positive self-talk. In the search I did, the first page brought up such things as , “3 ways to talk yourself up,” “Reduce stress and improve life with positive self-talk,” and “The toxic effects of negative self-talk.” The field of secular psychology has plenty to say about self-talk in their self-help books, articles, and blogs. However, with all the tips and tricks that secular psychology has to offer, positive self-talk will not fill the hole that is inside a your heart.

If you noticed, the title of my message today is “You Are My Lord: The Necessity of Proper Self-Talk.” The intent of this message is not to give you 3 steps to help you feel better about yourself. The intent of this message is, by God’s grace, to give you insight to help you grow closer in relationship with your Creator, who is the only one who can fill that hole in a your heart. We will be looking at Psalm 16 today as our main text. We will look at God’s desire for you to use proper self-talk, we will look at proper self-talk that honors God, and God’s blessings from proper self-talk. Let’s begin by reading through our passage.

Psalm 16:1–11 ESV

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight. The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips. The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

God’s Desire For You to Use Proper Self-Talk: A Definition

As I stated it is always best to define terms when discussing a topic such as this. As you can see, I have chosen to limit the scope of the definition of self-talk not to negative or positive, but rather to proper. The question then becomes what is it that I mean by proper self-talk?

Proper self-talk is the internal dialogue we have that appropriately represents the reality of our existence in this life.

By that I mean that we are truthful with ourselves about our condition before God.

By this definition non-believers will naturally reject the idea of proper self-talk. Yet, as Christians even the topic of self-talk needs to be addressed through a Biblical Worldview.

A.W. Tozer said, “We can never know who or what we are till we know at least something of what God is.”

By this we cannot properly know ourselves till we know something of God, and therefore we cannot have proper self-talk until we know something of God. I want to start by establishing that this psalm we are looking at today does in fact address self-talk. Let us look to verse two.

Psalm 16:2 ESV

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”

Both the ESV and the NIV translate this passage as “I say to the Lord.” However if you were to look to the KJV, you would see it translated as “Oh my soul, thou hast said unto the Lord.”

Psalm 16:2 KJV 1900

O my soul, thou hast said unto the Lord, Thou art my Lord: My goodness extendeth not to thee;

How do we reckon this? In the Hebrew the word for “I” is non existent in this verse and the word for “say” is not in the first person singular form. In other words the translation “I say” is not quite an adequate translation. Here in this verse the word that we get “say” from is in the second feminine singular form. What this means is that instead of being read as “I say,” it should be read as “You say,” with the “You” referring to something of the feminine origin. In the Hebrew language the words used for “soul” or “spirit” have a grammatical gender of feminine.

So though the words “soul” or “spirit” do not appear in this verse, when David wrote this psalm it could have been understood that he was instructing his soul, his spirit, his inner man on what to think or say in regards to God.

God’s Desire For You to Use Proper Self-Talk: Aligns You to God

Now that we have established that this Psalm is referring to self-talk, we need to look at what is God’s desire for your use of proper self-talk. Romans 12:2 tells us,

Romans 12:2 ESV

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Part of the renewal of our mind is to conform us in the way we think about God, his ways, this world, his church, and ourselves.

This starts with our understanding of who God is. If we do not understand that he is the first and the last, with no god before him or after him. If we do not understand that God alone has declared the end before the beginning. If we do not understand that he needs nothing. If we do not understand that he is slow to anger and abounding in love. If we do not understand that he works all things together for our good. If we do not understand and believe that he alone is holy and just and good, then we cannot understand anything else in its rightful perspective. When we do not understand the truths about who God is, everything else becomes a lie. Look at what Paul said to the Romans. Romans 1:24-25

Romans 1:24–25 ESV

Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

Proper self-talk keeps us aligned with the truth about God.

God’s Desire For You to Use Proper Self-Talk: Aligns You to Others

Proper self-talk is a necessity because it helps us as a church family grow closer together. Look at what Paul says in Philippians.

Philippians 2:2 ESV

complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.

See here how Paul highlights the being of the same mind and being of one mind? How is it as Christians do we grow into one mind? Well how does a sports team grow in accomplishing the task of winning a game? The NFL just started their regular season a couple weeks back, what does it take for a team to win? They have a head coach that instructs the other coaches and players so they can operate in unity. They study, they practice, and they rehearse in their minds their different parts. Just as there is a head coach that helps a team to move in a unified direction, the Church needs to have a singular focal point. That focal point is Jesus Christ and he has left us his word which we can study, practice, and rehearse in our minds.

We grow to one mind through the reading of the Bible and growing in our understanding of God’s truths by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Then as Paul explains, we apply these truths by operating out of humility counting others as more important than ourselves.

God’s Desire For You to Use Proper Self-Talk: Aligns You to Yourself

While the nature of self-talk is the internal dialogue, as we have seen to this point self-talk does not always mean the talk you have with yourself about yourself. It is simply one portion of it. The Bible has much to say about us as individuals, so it is only right that our self-talk about ourselves be govern by what the Bible says. Let’s look at what Paul says to the church in Ephesus.

Ephesians 2:1–5 ESV

And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—

Proper self-talk is not simply positive affirmations. It is the proper understanding of your true nature and the reality of your need for a Savior.

God’s desire for our self-talk, is to bring us into closer alignment with God, others, and ourselves.

Proper Self-Talk That Honors God: Exalts God and Humbles Self

So, what does proper self-talk look like?

Proper self-talk should remind us about the truths of God and our relationship towards him.

That is what David shows us here, look at what he says in verse 2 and 5.

Psalm 16:2 ESV

I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.”

Psalm 16:5 ESV

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; you hold my lot.

In the first half of this Psalm, David makes two declarative statements about God. “You are my Lord, all the good I have comes from you.” “You are my portion and cup, you are the sustenance that causes me to survive, and you hold everything I have.” Yet David is not just saying these things, he is instructing his soul, he is instructing his inner person to say these things.

I am always in amazement when I read things like this and think about David’s life. Now we don’t know when David wrote this Psalm but this is not the only time David says something like this. I want us to think about some of the events in David’s life and see that he still sings the praises of God. As a young man David’s life was threaten by king Saul. He was hunted throughout the country side because the king was jealous of him. He had a son that raped his daughter. He had one son kill another son. His choice to commit adultery led to the death of his young son. He had a son try to over throw him as king leading to David again being hunted down. Needless to say David’s life was wrought full of strife, yet he still praised God.

I want to ask you, when troubles come in your life what are you instructing your inner self to say? Are you saying “You are my Lord I have no good apart from you.”? Are you saying, “You oh Yahweh are my portion and cup, you have everything of mine.”? Are you saying statements similar to David or are you more like Job’s wife? When trouble comes are you saying “Curse God and die!” Are you like Jonah? Are you so bitter inside that when God in his right, offers blessing to some one else, you wish it better to be dead? Now these may seem extreme, but the question remains? When challenges arise what is your inner man saying?

Are you instructing it with God’s truth or are you letting it control you?

Let’s look to the next Psalm.

Psalm 17:6–8 ESV

I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God; incline your ear to me; hear my words. Wondrously show your steadfast love, O Savior of those who seek refuge from their adversaries at your right hand. Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings,

In times of trouble do you find yourself saying “Oh God where are you! Why is this happening oh God?” Now family here me please. I am not saying there is no reason to never have this cry, my caution is when we chose to stay there. There are things in this life that make us cry out oh God why, but we need to move on from that point.

You know we just remembered the 20th anniversary of 9/11. I was a junior in high school when that happened. I can remember chatter that morning of something happening but it wasn’t until after lunch that I really new what was going on. The rest of the day each class I went to, we just watched the news over and over again. A moment that forever changed the way I looked at the world.

On 9/10/2001, I had no idea who a Muslim was. On 9/10/2001 I didn’t know what terrorism was. On 9/10/2001 I didn’t know that there would be a people group on the other side of the planet that the media would lead me to believe I needed to hate because they hated me. On 9/10/2001 I was looking forward to my varsity football game coming up at the end of the week. I was worried about surviving my junior year of high school. Oh how I wish some days I could go back to 9/10/2001.

After high school, several of my friends and some of my relatives answered the call to go and serve our country. In 2011 I had one such friend that I wanted to get back in touch with. I had not talked with him since high school. I knew he was a Marine but I didn’t know much more than that. Living in the tech age, I did what everyone does and I looked him up on Facebook. I eventually found him but he was going by a different name. I figured it may have something to do with being in the service so I figured it better not to message him, besides we were only two years away from our 10 year reunion. Thursday July 12th 2012 at 11:30 at night I received a call that my friend had been killed in action while on a special ops mission in Afghanistan. I had never gotten the opportunity to reconnect with him.

Can you guess what the cry of my heart was? Oh God why did you have to let this happen!? It wasn’t till about two years later that I began to understand at least part of that. In the days that followed my friends death, I got the chance to meet with his dad. I found out that my friend was a believer and had his Marine field operation Bible on him when he died. Ultimately, this was one of the events that led me to answering God’s call to ministry on my life.

When my friend died Corey, Josh, and Eveline and I had only been back to church for about a year. I could have stayed stuck in that self-talk of oh why did you let this happen God. I could have grown bitter and angry at God believing him not to be fair. Or I could try to grow in understanding and instruct my inner self with the message that God will answer me, God will protect me, and God will show his steadfast love to me.

There is no doubt that there will be hard experiences in this life, when we have proper self-talk about God and our relationship with him, we can gain a new perspective on our situation and find a way to glorify him.

Proper Self-Talk That Honors God: Guides Your Talk Towards Others

Since self-talk applies to more than just the talk you have within yourself about yourself, proper self-talk that honors God guides your talk towards others. When it comes to your brothers and sisters in Christ, God honoring self-talk honors your brothers and sisters in the faith.

Proper Self-Talk That Honors God: Honors Brothers and Sisters in Christ

Let’s look at what the author of Hebrews says.

Hebrews 3:12–13 ESV

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

These exhortations for others need to start within ourselves. We need to allow God to instruct our minds on how we view our fellow brothers and sisters. Looking back to our passage from today, let’s look at verse 3.

Psalm 16:3 ESV

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones, in whom is all my delight.

David makes a statement here about the saints in the land. Some translations use the terms, holy ones, or God’s chosen people. How do we see David describe them? The are the excellent ones, he finds delight in them. What do we know about Israel? Was it a utopian state? Was everything perfect and all people getting along without any conflict or challenges? We just talk about the struggles David had so we know the answer to this is no.

As a church we are focusing on our oikos’. Praying for our family and friends, looking for ways to invite them to our church in hopes they will join our church family. OSM kids we are doing the same for youth group as well. We want to grow our church so that we can shared and spread the wonderful message of Jesus Christ with even more people.

What is your self-talk about our church? Do you view Burr Oak as a place filled with the excellent ones in whom you delight? Are you excited to be here every week and want others to experience the Spirit of God and the same love that you feel here? Or would you rather not say? Are you struggling because things are not how you would prefer them? Do you feel challenged inside but show up out of obligation? What is it you are telling yourself about our church? It is not uncommon to hear pastors say that they are at a church because God brought them there. You need to understand that you are here because God has you here.

The gifts and the talents that God has given you are for you to use here in this part of his church that he has placed you.

And your gifts and talents are needed here. If you are not sure what your gifts and talents are, or where they might be used, please see Pastor Mark or myself and we would be more than happy to help you. If by chance you find yourself in the camp that would not make the same proclamation about Burr Oak as David makes in verse 3.

Then let me encourage you to ask God to help you instruct your inner self on the thoughts it has about Burr Oak and its ministries?

Proper Self-Talk That Honors God: Keeps You From Sin

David follows up his delight in the saints by proclaiming what he will not do. Look to verse 4.

Psalm 16:4 ESV

The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply; their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out or take their names on my lips.

David makes a two-fold statement here. First he states the truth about those who run after another God. That their sorrows, or their suffering, will increase. This is an area where proper self-talk is needed. Many of us can probably think of examples of individuals who operate under the power of Satan and yet we do not witness the increase of suffering but rather what seems to be blessing. This is not a new struggle, many of you may be familiar with the hymn Farther Along, look at the first verse.

Tempted and tried we’re oft made to wonder, Why it should be thus all the day long; While there are others living about us, Never molested though in the wrong.

Or in one of the Psalms of Asaph

Psalm 73:3 ESV

For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

This is a reality of living in this life, sometimes the wicked prosper. Yet, if we have proper self-talk we can understand what to make of this. We will know a day is coming when the wrath of God will be poured out and every man will be judged for all of his deeds. In the mean time we need to heed to John’s exhortation.

1 John 4:1–6 ESV

Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you heard was coming and now is in the world already. Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore they speak from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

In situations like this it can be easy to become jealous, it can become easy to grow angry. If we do not operate under proper self-talk by instructing our inner man with God’s truths, and grow in knowing the Spirit of truth from the spirit of error, we can grow susceptible to giving into the desires of the flesh and not operate out of the fruits of the Spirit.

Let’s look to 1 Cor 10:13

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

There have been many times that I have come to this verse and asked God how does this work? When I am tempted where is my way out? How many of you have experienced the same thing? What I have come to find, is that proper self-talk is the key. Look at what David is doing in verse 4. He will not fellowship with, nor speak of, the thing that is condemning. In his context he states these to be false gods. In our context it could be anything. It could be spending money we know we do not have, because we believe it will make us feel better. It could be indulging in pornography because we believe we have the right to that outlet. It could be operating outside of the direct authority that God has placed over you because in your pride you believe you know better. It could be anything that we make an idol of our heart. Yet, when we are tempted God will provide a way out. When we utilize proper self-talk that honors God, he will use it to keep us from sin.

Ultimately, proper self-talk will convey to ourselves how we relate to God, ourselves, and others.

God’s Blessings From Proper Self-Talk

From verse 6 to the end David describes the blessings that come from this proper self-talk. I want you to see how he has this Psalm set up. He does not start with blessing, he starts by acknowledging who God is and his position before him. It is out of this understanding that David sees his blessings. Let’s look at these blessings that David describes.

Psalm 16:6–11 ESV

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol, or let your holy one see corruption. You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

What is it we see David doing here? He is describing his assurance in his position with God. David is describing his blessed assurance! Do you know your standing with God? Are you aware of your blessed assurance?

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine Oh, what a foretaste of glory divine Heir of salvation, purchase of God Born of His spirit, washed in His blood

This is my story, (Come on and sing it with me) this is my song Praising my Savior all the day long This is my story, this is my song Praising my Savior all the day long

Is your whole being rejoicing? All too often we let the hustle and bustle of life shake us. We forget our blessed assurance and we respond and react as the world would. Family I want you to know today that you have even more of a reason to rejoice than David did.

David’s hope rested in a future Messiah.

Our hope rests in a revealed Messiah.

A Messiah that stood in your place and suffer and died for you because of his love for you. A Messiah that willingly became separated from the one that perfect love exists in so that you may be reconciled to that one. A Messiah that promised to never leave you. A Messiah who is coming again in power and in might! A Messiah who is king of kings and lord of lords. A Messiah that you will spend the rest of eternity in either the fullness of joy of his presence, or the fullness of the wrath of his judgement. A Messiah who has been revealed as Jesus of Nazareth the Christ!

Proper self-talk that is govern by God’s word has blessings for the one who has his hope in the Lord.

Conclusion

We are all aware of self-talk. Maybe some of us have even used the tactics of positive self-talk to attempt change in our lives. God designed us with an internal dialogue, but in this sin stricken world, Satan uses our self-talk to pull us away from God. We need to give the control of this area back to God. God wants our self- talk to bring us closer into alignment with him, others, and ourselves. This can only be done if our self-talk is conveying the truths of God.

You may find yourself thinking, “Okay Pastor Ben this is all find and good but where do I start, how do I go about changing my self-talk?” Simple answer, read your Bible, but you already knew that. I would suggest take a self-assessment, where is your self-talk lacking? Is it in God’s sovereignty? Read the book of Job. Is it how God views you, read the Psalms, may be start with Psalm 139. Does your self-talk need to be aligned to God’s plan? Read the Gospels, Acts, and Revelation. Honestly, start here, you can even listen to an audio Bible, there are many free options such as biblegateway.com. Start at the beginning of Matthew and listen all the way through the end of Acts, then jump to Revelation and listen to that. This does not take that long. While you are doing your house work or yard work, or if you are going to be traveling in the car for several hours listen to these books in this order and ask the Spirit to help you listen and change your thinking. When you are done, listen to them again, “he who has ears to hear , let him hear.”

Self-talk can be the thing we want to hide away and wish would shut up. Or it can be the tool God designed it to be to draw us nearer to Him and to others. If you believe that Jesus died for you start your self-talk as David did, “You are my Lord, I have no good apart from you.”

If you have not professed Jesus as Lord and you feel as though your self-talk is an enemy that you cannot get away from, let me encourage you that there is freedom in Jesus. Jesus wants to help you with your self-talk, he wants you free from your sins and burdens. He wants you to know the path to life and experience the fullness of joy. If you feel burden by your self-talk and believe that Jesus can help but don’t know what to do, please, please, please, see Pastor Mark or myself. We would love to talk with you and help lead you in some next steps to accepting Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

Let us pray.