Fake or Fact: Friends

All of Best Friends

Did you catch those lyrics?

In a world where many of us have never been more alone.

We get lost and locked in through fake realities.

We chase fame/ popularity/ We seek attention and pretend to be someone that we are not.

Cheap thrills while fun in the moment are only time wasted and leave us empty.

Society tells us this is life.

That you should eat, drink and be merry.

Party/Sex/drugs— uh yes please.

That is what our world tells us.

It screams it at you— from tv shows, commercials, Magazines, Every ad as we scroll through social media— The world wants to define you.

But will you let it?

As we talked about last week, when we try to be part of the world and serve man we lose.

But when we love God, love people and want to share the Gospel— our world is going to look different.

*Why I asked the team to play this song is because I believe that there are many of your friends and maybe if you who know that this world is not giving you the real thing.

So what is the real thing?

What is the one thing that is real that will make everything else fall into place?

It’s Jesus.

So maybe you are sick of pretending to be someone that you are not.

Maybe you believe there is a higher way.

You know something is missing.

This can’t be the way the world is in the end.

So give me real, give me fact, give me authentic, give me a reason.

We want truth in an age where everyone seems to have claim they have it.

But let me just put a thought out there.

If you want this— then don’t you think your friends do as well?

What if they had the same questions as you?

What if they wanted something real as well, but didn’t know where to find it.

I believe that there is something that is real that will change lives and will take you from wondering to giving you purpose.

But that is something that is meant to be shared.

My brother and I like to hoard food.

And my mom is a pretty good cook and growing up we would always try to get the last of whatever food we were eating.

If it was taco pie— I was making sure that I had the last piece.

Or snicker salad (Cool Whip/Apples/Snickers)- What is not to like.

It was always a contest— If would be durning a show one of us would sneak out to grab a snack and consume all the cookies or cake that was left— leaving the other to have to find some treat that was inferior to mine.

Trust me there was always enough for us to spilt the treat but we kept it for ourselves.

We didn’t want to share it.

And when the other found out about it— what would we do— we would chase down the other one.

Try to grab the food.

Whine to our parents.

I hated that he had something I wanted.

And He hated that I had something he wanted.

Could you imagine a friend doing this to you?

Like they have a piece of warm choc cake and they had enough to share with you but they decided not too.

How do you respond to that?

Now what if at the end of this life, you had the answer to freedom, to eternal life, to joy unspeakable, to truth, to facts, to the real thing— and your friend did not?

What if at the end of this life your friends fate is eternity in Hell because we never told them about the real thing— we never told them about Jesus.

Jesus is the real thing.

How do you think they are going to respond?

I was ticked off at food missing— but can you imagine a life alternating decision that could have changed my eternity?

Yeah, I think I am going to be more mad about that one honestly.

Maybe you are thinking— my friends don’t care about this.

I think they do.

Because deep down we all have similarities as to what makes a good friend.

We want someone who is like minded, encouraging, selfless, honest, dependable, trustworthy, nonjudgemental, merciful, giving, and fun.

And if that is all us at our root, or at least the majority of us.

Then we are all searching for real friends who are authentic.

Right?

Do you want a group of fake friends?

I don’t.

I don’t want selfish friends who are all about them and never ask how I am doing.

Right?

Anybody got a friend like that?

What if you friendships became grounded in the gospel?

As in your friendship became centered on Christ.

I know not all of them will, I get this, BUT in those cases where we have share the gospel and our friends have just said no, How do we still care for them and show them Christ?

What if our friendships were built on more, were built on something real, and genuine?

Would they change?

Would you change?

While we are not going to be able to change our friends, what if we changed how we interacted with our friends?

What if we stood out in our friends group, for more than just being funny, or knowing all the gossip but we were someone who was encouraging, honest, and loving?

What would that look like to your friends?

That is what we are going to break down tonight:

How can we be a friend that others want to be around?

Number one we must be:

Encouraging

1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV

Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Paul is writing to the church here in Thessalonica saying remember encourage others.

And what is really interesting is that he is saying to encourage others on the heels of talking about the return of Christ.

Build them up.

Let them know that the time is coming.

It may seem like peace and security but that is not going to last long.

1 Thessalonians 5:3 ESV

While people are saying, “There is peace and security,” then sudden destruction will come upon them as labor pains come upon a pregnant woman, and they will not escape.

He is telling them to stay alert and to lastly encourage those.

Have you ever been around someone who is just negative all the time.

It could be 75 degrees, not a cloud in the sky— beautiful, picture, perfect day.

And that person could say— it is just to perfect.

I miss there was shade rather than blue sky.

Like they always find something to be negative about.

You know that person— maybe you are that person.

There was a gal I use to work with and this was her.

She hardly smiled and every story she told was just so sad— it reminded of SNL had a skit they did called Debbie Downer.

Let me show you a quick little clip.

DEBBIE DOWNER CLIP

Nobody wants to be around a negative Nelly/or Nancy all the time.

It is exhausting.

You may want to put on the whole, Zach that is just who I am— I am just negative.

I get it, but you are going to ruin relationship because of how negative you are.

Being a source of encouragement is a way to build up your friends.

Telling them about Jesus is a great source of encouragement.

They can find peace after a parent dies or maybe a through a bad break-up.

Life is negative enough without others bringing it down more.

What if we were positive with our word— we encouraged others to come to Jesus.

What if you are the only person in their corner?

What if you are the only positive light in their corner?

How is that going?

This world offers cheap trills to our friends— but what if you could give them the real thing?

What if you could introduce Jesus to your friends?

Encouragement is a huge factor in finding friends.

another one is honor.

Honor

Romans 12:10 ESV

Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

Honor.

I don’t know if we truly grasp honor anymore.

It was mentioned in the OT— Honor your father and mother— durning the ten commandments but that seems like it is an old term— one we don’t care for anymore.

But honor is what Paul is telling believers in Roman how to live a genuine Christian life.

Love one another— we will come back to that one.

But honor them.

Paul is saying outdo another in showing honor.

Love one another with Brotherly affection— Outdo one another in showing honor.

Honor means to respect others.

Let me ask you, when was the last time you felt disrespected by someone close to you?

It does not feel good— does it.

No it does not.

In your friend groups do you show honor to them/ do you respect your friends or is it more of you tearing them down?

How do you treat others around you?

It says a lot about you doesn’t it.

I think it says the most about us.

How we treat others.

I get it we all got friends that are maybe bullies— or maybe you are the bully to others.

But do you go along with it?

I remember an article a guy wrote about his time in high school.

And how he was terrorized by this student.

That student was a good friend of mine.

A very good friend.

We hung out often— I was a paul-bear at his funeral.

But the way this guy spoke about my friend was anything but kind.

He spoke about how he hated coming to school.

He would have extreme anxiety as he waited for the bus.

He hated every second of it being in school with a guy I called friend.

You can imagine my thoughts and feeling when all of this came out.

It cut deep.

It made me realize that I had been fake.

I was no better, I am thankful no one ever wrote an article about me

Honor is not hard give someone.

It is respect.

And we can argue about whether respect is earned or given— BUT let’s not.

Because honor is what is asked of us.

If you are a Christian

Your life is centered on Christ.

This is asked of you.

Craig Groeschel puts it this way “Honor is a gift that you give freely.”

By honoring your friends you will find that they will want to be around you.

What if in your friend group this week, you started to listen better, you started to affirm others, you were kind to them, that you served them— don’t do their homework that won’t help them— but what if you were just a bit more kind this week.

That is point number 2 of how can we be a friend that others want to be around?

Number one was we must be encouraging, number two is we must show honor and number three is we must be loving.

Loving

John 15:12–13 ESV

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Jesus is talking here.

It is is last time with his disciples before he is going to be arrested and killed.

And he tells them this commandment.

That they are to love others.

There is no doubt that Jesus loved his disciples.

Very much.

To where he calls them friends.

The New Bible Commentary 15:1–17 The Vine Allegory

The difference does not lie in a change of attitude—both are expected to obey (14)—but in communication. Whereas servants blindly obey, friends are taken into confidence (15).

He called them friend.

As he was willing to lay down his life for them.

But in that act of love he did that for you and me and all followers of Christ.

There is nothing I can really think of that makes us do more crazy stuff then love.

Because some of us maybe are thinking about our friends and we are thinking— I don’t want to die for them.

Does this mean I don’t love them?

Look, I am not asking anyone to do this.

Jesus did this because He had to.

Love others.

Jesus was on this earth for about 30 years, and he had his ministry if you will for about 3 years.

And in that time he spoke more about love then judgement.

Love is not this mushy gushy feeling but it is putting those feelings into action.

There is nothing wrong with loving our friends and being there for them.

I think we miss this far to often.

We say we have friends but we don’t encourage them, we don’t honor them and we don’t love them.

How do we still have friends then?

Something has to connect us others.

Jesus is saying just love people.

Care for them.

Be there for them.

The world will tells us that love is this feeling that comes and goes.

I am here to tell you that is false— it is fake.

The truth is you have just stopped trying to love that person.

It can be hard to love others.

Because loving others involved forgiving them even when it hurts.

The world will tell you an eye for an eye.

Jesus tells you to keep on forgiving.

The world tells you to be served— chase greatness for yourself.

Jesus says take heart— He overcame the world— serve others and chase God.

John 16:33 ESV

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Love God/ Love People/Make Disciples.

What if that is what we started to be serious about?

What if as a youth group we invited our friends?

What if we saw our friends come to know Christ.

Wouldn’t that be amazing!

I think it would.

BONFIRE AND GAME Oct 23rd @ 7:00

Bring your friends.

Because I truly believe that all our best friends are sick of pretending and they want the real thing.

If you are a follower of Christ you got the real thing.

It is time to show, share it and tell it.

Love others well.

I dare you to do these three things this week.

Be encouraging

Give Honor and show love to others.

I bet your friends will start to notice that something is different about you and who knows maybe they will ask why you have peace and hope in a world that is so fake and pretend.

And you can give them the real thing— Jesus.

Let’s pray

I don't want to be on my phone but I can't be alone Welcome to the modern way I'm trying to be somebody I'm not but it's not what I want And tell me there's another way All of the lights I chased are now faded All the cheap thrills were only time wasted Tell me why society's plan should define who I am Surely there's a higher way All of my best friends are sick of pretending We want the truth (Na-na, na-na) So much is missing So give us the real thing I know it's You (Na-na, na-na, na) (Na-na, na-na, na) (Na-na, na-na, na) I don't want a stereotype to decide who I am It never knew me anyway I'm over trying to find the next hype 'cause the high never lasts Imma go another way All of the lights I chased are now faded Dylan was right, the times they are changing Tell me why society's plan should define who I am Surely there's a higher way All of my best friends are sick of pretending We want the truth (Na-na, na-na) So much is missing So give us the real thing I know it's You (Na-na, na-na, na) (Na-na, na-na, na) (Na-na, na-na) All of my best friends are sick of pretending We want the truth (Na-na, na-na) So much is missing So give us the real thing I know it's You I know it's You