Family Matters

This past week I heard a wonderful devotional from Romans 12:12 that really inspired me as a member of God’s household. When I read Romans 12:12 my first thought was there’s a sermon in that verse. It very naturally breaks down into three distinct points challenging us as believers as to how we are to live our lives as Christians. Or how we are to live as a member of God’s family of faith. Stand briefly as we read this verse together.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Romans 12:12, ESV

But then I began to read the context of the entire chapter and I didn’t know what I should leave out. The entire chapter is incredible!

Verses 1–2 are about Thinking About the Believer. (Read Romans 12:1-2. This is the responsibility and expectation for every believer. Verses 3–8 are about Thinking About the Body. They have to do with our place in the whole body of Christ. They are a challenge for us to fulfil our God-given role in being everything the Lord has saved us to be. Verses 9–21 challenge us to think about or are about Thinking About the Brethren. These verses are filled with challenges for the children of God to live together, before the Lord and the world, as a God-honoring family. So with my daughter’s help I have entitled today’s message, “Family Matters.”

Romans 12:9–21 (ESV) 9 Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11 Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I. OUR ACTIONSTOWARD OUR CHRISTIAN FAMILY, Romans 12:9–15

A. Our Social Actions—(These make us a pleasure to live with.)

1. V. 9a Be Honest— Let love be genuine. We are to love the brethren with an honest love that knows no pretense. It is to be genuine or honest love like that of our Savior for us!

2. V. 10a Be Loving— Love one another with brotherly affection. Again, as believers and members of God’s family, we are to love one another with a faithful devotion. The kind of love referred to here is that which can only be found in the closest of families. So Paul’s first admonition to believers is to love one another. Love is a part of our family matters.

3. V. 10b Be Humble—Here, we are commanded to put others ahead of ourselves. It is shameful what some people will do to get their own way in a matter. To show genuine appreciation and admiration for fellow believers by putting them first (Philippians 2:3 (ESV) Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.).[1]

4. V. 11a Be Diligent— Do not be slothful in zeal. In our dealings with others, we are not to be slow or lazy. We are to be diligent in whatever work our hand finds to do, whether secular or spiritual. Let me remind you of Ecclesiastes 9:10, which we looked at just a few weeks ago. Ecclesiastes 9:10 (ESV) Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might.

5. V. 13a Be Helpful— Contribute to the needs of the saints. The idea of this phrase is that we are to enter into the burdens of our fellow believers. We are to help them as their needs arise. Paul told the Galatians to “bear one another’s burdens.”

6. V. 13b Be Open— seek to show hospitality Instead of building walls between us and others, we are to reach out as true friends do. The idea is that of being available to the family of God.

7. V. 14 Be Kind— Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Regardless of what others may do to us, our reaction should always be that of tolerance. Let us never reach the place where we enter into a mudslinging contest with a fellow believer, or any man for that matter. The command here is to be pleasant and kind to others, regardless of what they may do to us!

8. V. 15 Be Compassionate— Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Since we are all members of the same body, v. 5, we should have a compassion for our fellow believer that causes us to hurt when he hurts and to rejoice when he rejoices. Instead of being jealous when another is blessed, let us be excited for and with him because of the Lord’s grace and goodness. Instead of being indifferent when a time of crisis arises in the life of our brother, let us endeavor to enter into his need and help him carry his load.

(Ill. You will notice that these things are merely ways in which the church can demonstrate Christlike love one for another. It is a way to show the world the reality of our claims. It is a way to glorify Jesus in the church and before the world, John 13:35.)

B. Our Spiritual Actions—(These equip us to be a blessing.)

1. V. 9b Be Holy— Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. In our personal walk before the Lord, we are to hate the evil and be glued to that which is right. The Lord’s desire is that we be a holy people, 1 Peter 1:16 (ESV) “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

2. V. 11b Be Excited— be fervent in spirit, The word fervent means to be “boiling and bubbling.” It carries the idea of the bubbling sound water makes when it is boiled. There should be a sense of excitement and enthusiasm when we think about our family relationships within the Household of God! By the way, did you know that the root meaning of the English word enthusiasm means to be filled with God! How can we be filled with the presence and power of God and not be excited about it?

3 V. 11c Be Faithful— serve the Lord. The word serve or serving means “to be in the position of a servant and to act accordingly.” When we were saved, we were bought with a price, 1 Corinthians 6:20 (ESV) for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. We belong to Jesus and we are to glorify Him.

4. V. 12a Be Happy— Rejoice in hope, As a believer and a part of God’s family, we should be among the happiest people on earth! Someone said, “Your smile should be the biggest on the job!” Why? Because of our hope! And what is our hope? We are saved, forgiven and heaven bound! We have a hope that the world knows nothing about. Let us not forget what the Lord has done for us! Where He has brought us from, and where He is taking us to. It’s no wonder some believers are so mean and cantankerous, they have simply forgotten what God has done for them. They’ve gotten over their salvation!

5. V. 12b Be Hopeful— be patient in tribulation. The idea here is that we are to be steadfast under the pressures of life. We are not to allow the things that arise in life drive us away from the Lord. The saint is to keep his eyes on Jesus, knowing that the Lord is working out His will every day and that He is seeking the best for His people all the time, Romans 8:28.

6. V. 12c Be Prayerful— be constant in prayer. The idea here is that the saints are to be involved in a prayer life that is vibrant and consistent. Prayer is the lifeline of the believer, and too often it is neglected. Let us never forget that God will bless the praying person and the praying church, James 5:16 (NLT) Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

I. Our ActionsToward Our Christian Family, but notice secondly….

II. OUR ATTITUDETOWARD OUR CHRISTIAN FAMILY, v. 16–17

A. V. 16a Walk as a Family— Live in harmony with one another. As a family, are never to allow ourselves to become distant and disconnected from our Christian family. This is a plea for humility, unity and compassion among the members of God’s family.

B. V. 16b Walk in Fellowship— Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. None in this family of faith should feel that they are better than another. We are all sinners saved by God’s grace and headed to the same heaven. (Fellowship defined as “two fellows on the same ship going to the same location!)

C. V. 17a Walk in Forgiveness— Repay no one evil for evil, There will be times in the family when we become offended by the words or deeds of another. When we do, we are not to respond by seeking to get even with the offending party. Instead, we are commanded to practice forgiveness one toward another, Ephesians 4:32 (NLT) Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

D. V. 17b Walk in Faithfulness— but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. We are called upon to be faithful in the sight of all men, both believers and unbelievers by living the kind of life that brings glory to the Lord. Nothing is more God honoring and beautiful than a faithful life!

I. Our ActionsToward Our Christian Family

II. Our AttitudeToward Our Christian Family, v. 16–17, but number three,……

III. OUR AFFECTIONSTOWARD OUR CHRISTIAN FAMILY, V. 18–21

A. V. 18 Be Peaceful— If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Here, we are commanded to see that there is peace in the family of God. Notice that God says that each person is responsible for their own actions in this matter. You are to go the extra mile, without demanding the same from your Brother. You are to offer the apology first, without waiting on him before reconciliation begins. You are to take the lead in seeing there is peace and harmony in God’s family. The idea is that if each believer will do his or her part, there will be no place for trouble and disunity in God’s House!

B. V. 19 Be Patient—Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” Of course, the command here is obvious. We are not to take matters into our own hands. When we have been offended and our brother refuses to make it right with us, then we are to leave the matter in the hand of God. It is not our place to get revenge. It is our place to love them and to leave them in the hand of God. The Lord sees everything that happens, and He will see that the record is set straight one day!

C. V. 20 Be Positive—To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Since the Lord will deal with fault, we are to take the lead in being a friend to our enemy. The Lord would have us to reach out to them in love and humility. If they rebuff us, that is between them and the Lord. We have done our part and that is all the Lord requires! So, instead of getting all down and out when we are done dirty by someone, let us seek to be like Jesus Who literally blessed His enemies as He died, Luke 23:34. That is godliness in action! That is Christ living in us for the glory of God. That is also something against which your enemy cannot compete. He will have an answer for your arguments, but he will have none for your love!

D. V. 21 Be Pleasant—Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Don’t be the kind of person who is always looking for something to be upset about. There are people like that! They love nothing better than for someone to offend them so they will have an excuse for their bitter attitudes. Be a pleasant person by being Christlike in every situation. You have no control over how you are treated by others, but you have absolute control over how you respond to them. You have absolute control over how you treat your fellow believers. Be pleasant and the Lord will bless your life!

I’ve met a lot of Bossy Baptists in my life. And a lot of Belly-aching Baptists; and Belligerent Baptists. The way we respond to them is with Christian love and affection. [2]

[1] John MacArthur Jr., ed., The MacArthur Study Bible, electronic ed. (Nashville, TN: Word Pub., 1997), 1717. [2] Alan Carr, “Thinking about the Brethren (Romans 12:9–21),”in The Sermon Notebook: New Testament(Lenoir, NC: Alan Carr, 2015), 2257–2260.

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