Confession of Guilt, Confession of Praise

Today we begin a new series on “the masters,” looking at the lives and ideas from some of the most influential Christians that have ever lived. The first master we are looking at is a man that many called the greatest theologian of the first millenia of Christianity - that’s a thousand years of being considered the very best. He wrote some defining classics from “the Kingdom of God” to “on the Trinity,” but his most revered work is called “Confessions” which includes his life story. We are going to focus on that today. Now some of you might be wondering how we say this mans name. I had a professor who was a regal, proper sort of fellow. He told us once in class that “AugustENE is a city, Augustine was a man.” Although, his real name is Aurelius Augustinus Hipponensis so we are definitely going to stick with Augustine. He was considered the dominant force in developing western thought, but many forget - he’s not even from Europe. He was born in North Africa and spent most of his life there. He became bishop of Hippo in Algeria after teaching in Rome and Milan, but the story of how he got there is where we’ll start our journey. First, let’s hear our scripture from Paul, who will read for us from Romans chapter 13. The Apostle Paul, who wrote Romans, first wrote about how the church is reconciled to God, and then here focuses on practical matters. How the church is to value all members as equal, and that our gifts need to be used to build each other up. Here specifically he explains how we fulfill the law and how we are to wake from our spiritual slumber. These words were instrumental to Augustine’s own conversion. Let’s hear them now: Romans 13:8-14

Romans 13:8–14 NRSV

Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. Besides this, you know what time it is, how it is now the moment for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we became believers; the night is far gone, the day is near. Let us then lay aside the works of darkness and put on the armor of light; let us live honorably as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

And from the Gospel of Matthew 5:8 Jesus says,

Matthew 5:8 NRSV

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

The word of the Lord for the people of God. Thanks be to God. Let’s pray: God, may we be an inclusive community passionately following Jesus Christ. As we explore the life and thinking of the masters, may we become masters too, in following you, in growing spiritually and in our love for this world you have created. Bless us as we listen for your word today. Amen.

Augustine’s story began like many others. His mother was a devoted Christian, his father had no strong religious background. When he was a young man Augustine would boast about all the sins he didn’t have enough time to commit, so that he would not seem to have fallen behind his friends. Sounds like some people I know, but anyways, his mother loved him dearly and wanted the very best for him. She would regularly press him to turn to the Christian faith, and he would regularly choose to do the exact opposite. At one point he had a mistress and a son, whom he resented. He told his mother he was going to leave the city for Italy and his mother told him she would go with him. They packed and were ready to leave, but when his mother asked to stop and pray in the chapel he let her , but then gave her the slip. He sailed to Italy without her. You’d think that very well may be the end of their relationship, but it wasn’t. After a year of teaching in Rome and being swindled out of his income, he moved to Milan to start over and that’s where his mother caught up with him. She told her lying, sneaking, down-on-his-luck son he has got to go to church. Milan happened to have one of the great Bishops of the century and when Augustine met him, he was intrigued. He didn’t care too much about his religion, but the singing in the church was nice, and he thought this Bishop, Ambrose, was an excellent preacher. Augustine had always loved wisdom; that is what philosophy literally means - lover of wisdom - and he realized that Ambrose had truly found wisdom. Despite this, Augustine was in despair. He was a bachelor, pursing whatever lusts he had. He felt like he would never find real truth for himself in this world. See this whole time Augustine has a question in his mind. He loves wisdom and he wants to know “where does evil come from?” Its a question that many of us ask, and his conclusion is that ‘all things are good.’ The only way something becomes evil is if it is bent away from the will of God, away from the supreme goodness of God. That’s what evil is - its not a being, its not a substance in and of itself; evil is the perversion of God’s will in us. He knows this is true, but he simply cannot bring himself to do God’s will. He says in his book Confessions “I had now found the priceless pearl, and I ought to have sold all that I had and bought it – yet I hesitated.” (St. Augustine Confessions)

He wants to keep doing whatever he wants; he wants to go where he pleases, say whatever he feels like, to make his own path; he wants the power and control over his mistress, yet he is in despair. All this freedom, all this power over his destiny and over others doesn’t lead to happiness - it leads to evil, and he knows it.

So his mother took on the challenge of helping him in his despair and she thought there was only one solution to this problem - to get Augustine married. You mom’s out there, don’t tell me you haven’t thought about this as a cure for your son’s problems. Augustine does agree to get engaged, but his life ended up going in a very different direction. As his despair rages he invites his friend over, and as he struggling with his obvious sin, and his desire to do God’s wil, to do real good in this world, his friend ends up leaving him; he doesn’t want to disturb Augustine in his mental wrestling. So there he is, tormented with this sickness of the soul; he throws himself to the ground and finally unleashes all the anguish he’s felt in a flood of tears. He throws himself on the ground crying out to God, “How long, O Lord?” He is asking how long will he be stuck in this anguish between evil and good. And as he shouts out and weeps with sorrow, he hears a voice. There is a little boy or maybe a little girl who is chanting over and over, “pick it up, read it; pick it up, read it.” He’s sure the child is simply playing a game, but he’s never heard of a game with such words, so finally he thinks, “maybe this is God speaking to me.” He knows what he should pick up and read. He has marveled at the wisdom from Ambrose, and his favorite author in the Bible is the Apostle Paul, so he randomly flips open his Bible to the back where Paul’s letters are, and he lands on Romans 13 where he reads, Romans 13:13-14

Romans 13:13–14 NRSV

let us live honorably as in the day, not in reveling and drunkenness, not in debauchery and licentiousness, not in quarreling and jealousy. Instead, put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.

He said as soon as he finished the sentence he stopped reading. He didn’t need to read more; his heart was instantly infused with what he called, “the light of full certainty and all the gloom of doubt vanished away.” This was Augustine’s conversion. Now if you’ve never had a dramatic spiritual encounter like this, you may not quite grasp how big this is. You don’t have to have a dramatic moment in order to be a Christian, but it often marks a monumental change in a person’s life. Augustine can never go back to the way things were before. He can’t let his carnal desires rule him anymore. He starts living differently. He gets baptized by Ambrose and moves from Milan back to Africa. He never gets married and sells everything he has, save the family home so he can open a monastery. This community was different from ones like the Franciscans, who took a vow of poverty. Augustinians took a vow of sharing; they would have all things in common as described in Acts 4:32. He would later be ordained, then made bishop and spent a lifetime writing, preaching and teaching. He would go on to be considered a master of the faith with the rare title Doctor of the Church.

So that’s his story, that’s how he begins his book ‘Confessions,’ but what can we learn from it? What lessons can we take from him? And I think part of what could be really significant for us is this act of sharing the story of our life as a confession. Last week we were talking about forgiveness and I landed on this idea that we may not need to have someone confess their sins in order to forgive them, but that forgiveness can actually provoke confession. Well, folks, you’ve been forgiven by God, and hopefully some of you are ready to forgive one another. Maybe its time for us to confess. Maybe we need to reflect on our stories up to this point in our lives and stop to notice how God is weaving these different things together in a meaningful way. Our past, particularly those things that have harmed God or harmed others, create an opportunity for us to do better, to heal, to reconnect with folks who may have previously harmed us. In our confession we are given a second chance. We are made new and able to serve God well.

I got a call this week from someone I haven’t heard from in a long time. Years ago when I was leading a youth group in a church there was a boy who was just 10 years old. He didn’t go to Sunday School but his older sister went to youth group. One day they came to me asking if this boy, Ken, would be allowed to go to the youth group, and we thought it over. If we said no, he needed to go to Sunday School, he would likely continue not attending. If we said yes, it might not work for the older youth. Well, we ended up saying yes, because every youth group needs a mascot, and it seemed to work out well. He was adopted by the older youth and really was like a mascot for the group. And Ken loved being a part of everything the youth group was doing.

When he called, I hadn’t spoken to him since I had left that place more than a decade ago and he told me how those three years while I was there were so great for him. I said three years seems like such a short time to me now, but he said when your ten-years-old three years is a quarter of your life! And we talked about his family and people we knew back then. He reminded me of one of the most idiotic things I’ve ever done in my life. We were using a book called “Dangerous Devotions for Guys” and our boys-only meeting had a devotion involving a campfire and various objects that were put into the fire. There’s a nice lesson that pairs with it and at the end, I made a slight modification. I said, “how about we find some other things we can put in the fire?” They loved that idea! So they picked random things and watched what would happen, until finally one boy went into our house, into our pantry and pulled out a can of beans. He looked at me curious what I would say and I said, “sure! why not!” He threw it in and nothing happened, so we went on with our evening. After about half an hour we were still sitting around the fire talking when all of a sudden there was a huge explosion. The firewood shot out of the pit and over the laughter I’m shouting “Is everyone okay? Is anyone hurt?” Everyone was fine, but we realized that the can of beans was gone! We started looking all over for it but couldn't find it. It wasn’t until the next day when we were leaving that someone found the can laying in my front yard. The can had exploded shooting up and over my house into the front yard. I am lucky I didn’t lose my job that day. So let this confession be a word of wisdom to everyone; don’t put a can of beans in a fire.

But as we confess the things we have done wrong, and gain this opportunity for a second chance from God, there is another kind of confession that ought to rise up. Augustine didn’t just write his life story to share his sins; he wrote to show the glory of God, and to praise God. Our liturgy for today is taken from his book of Confessions. He wrote about the transformation God did in his life, and, as he reflected on it, he would praise God! I know when Ken called me and said the impact I had on his life, I wanted to praise God! I hear from teachers and others in the helping professions, ‘you never know what kind of impact you are having on others.’ And its true; you often don’t know, but when you do get a chance to hear the impact you’ve made, isn’t it a beautiful thing to turn to God and give glory to him?

I really appreciated how, as we talked, Ken was able to take stock of his life. At one point he paused when I asked him how things were going. He said, you know, when I look back over the last few years, its pretty incredible how far I’ve come in such a short time. He made some steps in his career and was getting more and more responsibility. He has been dating the same young lady for five years now and has been thinking about the next step in their relationship. His family is happy and healthy; his life is good! And he gives praise to God - that is a confession of faith, pointing to God, giving God credit for the journey we take in our lives and all the good we experience in it.

Let me end with this, a nobel prize winner, Daniel Kahneman, says that most people don’t want to be happy. Happiness is a fleeting moment in our lives. What most of us work for is satisfaction. We want to be satisfied by accomplishing our long-term goals, so when we look back, we are telling ourselves a story. A happy moment, living selfishly doesn’t really satisfy. Augustine reminds us that in confession we are cleansed of our sin, and have a chance to tell a new story. We don’t have to be evil, bent away from the will of God. A new day is upon us; God is calling us to a new life, filled with praise of him. Let Augustine’s life be a reminder to all of us that we don’t have to be a master of theology to make a difference. What we need is a willingness to confess our sin and confess our faith. This is the first step in a life well lived, one that brings true satisfaction as we bring glory to God who loves us, and calls us to a better life. Amen? Amen.

Communion

Ezekiel 36:22–32 NRSV

Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came. I will sanctify my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, and which you have profaned among them; and the nations shall know that I am the Lord, says the Lord God, when through you I display my holiness before their eyes. I will take you from the nations, and gather you from all the countries, and bring you into your own land. I will sprinkle clean water upon you, and you shall be clean from all your uncleannesses, and from all your idols I will cleanse you. A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you; and I will remove from your body the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. I will put my spirit within you, and make you follow my statutes and be careful to observe my ordinances. Then you shall live in the land that I gave to your ancestors; and you shall be my people, and I will be your God. I will save you from all your uncleannesses, and I will summon the grain and make it abundant and lay no famine upon you. I will make the fruit of the tree and the produce of the field abundant, so that you may never again suffer the disgrace of famine among the nations. Then you shall remember your evil ways, and your dealings that were not good; and you shall loathe yourselves for your iniquities and your abominable deeds. It is not for your sake that I will act, says the Lord God; let that be known to you. Be ashamed and dismayed for your ways, O house of Israel.