Developing Oneness in Marriage

Developing Oneness in Marriage

Genesis 2:18-25

- Marriage does have a purpose. This was not something that anthropologists would success that came to be through 100’s of thousands of years of inter-personal and community relationship that came to being.

- They think marriage came to be out of a development of social skills and necessity, and slowly developed into what we have today. The original plan was from God.

Hebrews 13:4 AV

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

It is interesting here in Genesis 1 and 2 as God said that as he created the world he would say over and over again

10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. 11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. 12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, 18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

So we see that all that God made was good, he was pleased with it, but when it came to man 2:18, he said something was not good – it is not good that man should be alone – so he made a help meet for him.

Genesis 2:18 AV

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Now there are two reasons that Adam needed a helpmeet, two basic needs that man had; These are the two basic and vitally important things that marriage is designed to provide:

I. Oneness is Developed by following God’s Plan for Marriage

A. Companionship promotes Oneness

- God noticed Adam’s incompleteness. God saw him and had pity on his solitude.

- Men have a need for companionship. Many of our young men, as a matter of fact, I have talked to 3 the last two weeks about his problem in there lives, this need of companionship, the discouragement over being alone. God made them this way with a need of companionship.

B. Oneness is built through completion

Gen 2:20 – says that the there was found no help meet for him.

- The word translated meet is “completer.” God had caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and Eve, and God took out one of his ribs. Eve was taken out of his side, not the head, nor the foot.

- She was everything Adam was not.

- Notice that she did not come to be a “competer,” but rather a “completer.”

- Our society is intent on blurring and even canceling out the differences between men and women. Rather than making men and women equal, society is really taking away what makes them special.

- The differences God has given are actually gifts from God

o Husbands your wives are more emotional by design, lucky your kids don’t have two hard nose parents like you dad.

o Wives, your husband has the logical way of thinking and cut and dry motives and purposes by design from God. The man and woman complete one another in the bond of marriage.

II. Oneness is developed through deep knowledge of one another

Genesis 2:23 AV

And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

- In this verse we see what God’s design for marriage was – to make them one. Two meld together into one.

The longer you are married, the more you see this happening.

A. Oneness through Acceptance

I believe that it was of God that Adam said this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. These two had become one flesh, not only on the outside but also on the inside.

Many married couples go through life showing forth that they are happily married, but on the inside, they are separated and bitter. God helps to be one on the inside and outside.

This comes at early on. When we are courting we are gaining acceptance, and when we are first married one of the greatest things is that we accept one another. As a matter of fact, some of us men were very amazed that our wives accepted us, that is why we were so happy.

But as we go through marriage we start to quit being patient with one another, and we no longer overlook one another’s short comings and become critical in our spirits and we really undermine the one flesh that God wants for us.

B. Oneness through giving Honor

1 Peter 3:7 AV

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

God created each of us according to his purposes, he made men and women different according to his design, therefore ought we not to honor that, honor the differences. In 1 Peter we see the command for husbands to honor their wives. We know that many commands in the Bible concerning husbands and wives should also be applied both ways. We need to put honor back into the marriage.

Men taking care of their wives and wives taking care of the husbands. Men taking care of their wives in honoring that they are, giving stability to them and protection. Providing the area they are needful in.

Ladies ought to be virtuous. That is how you can honor your husbands. Proverbs 31:26 says she is a woman that has the “law of kindness.” She is not a bitter person. Apart from Christ this life can cause bitterness, but we have Christ who give us a different purpose for living. Ladies, lets honor your husbands with pure words.

III. Oneness through Right Priorities

For our marriages to be what God wants them to be we must realize that they must be in the place of importance that God wants them to be. In place of importance, your church should be only behind the Lord. But God puts a great priority on your marriage.

One priority we must make sure we apply in our marriages is the area of Leaving:

A. Oneness is marriage comes from leaving

Ge 2:24a Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother

- It is a surprising statement, that Adam who did not have mother or father would say this, he was setting an important precedence for all marriages that would follow.

- We are to leave others

o Leave feelings we had for others

o There should be no romantic attachment to anyone else

o Leave our parents – that doesn’t mean that you dishonor them.

B. Oneness in marriage comes from cleaving

Gen 2:24b and shall cleave unto his wife:

- A lot of people decide to get unthankful with their wife or husband.

o They say this is not what I signed up in the marriage for

o They say, “he has changed or she has changed”

o They say, she doesn’t respect me or he doesn’t honor me

- All those things aside, the principle of cleaving applies.

- There should be superglue on your relationship.

o You ever remember those old commercials where they would put the superglue on the construction worker’s hat and stick to a beam and he would hang there, or they would connect a couple of pieces of metal and try everything to pull them apart but nothing would.

o God wants us to cleave and not matter what this world, or Satan might send our way, we are cleaving to the commitment to our marriage.

C. Oneness in marriage comes form weaving

Gen 2:24c and they shall be one flesh.

Marriage is two people becoming one person – as the Bible says it, one flesh.

So many couples set out wrong, they try to keep separate lives, separate bank accounts, separate ownership, separate lives at times with work schedules, God did not intend that, he wants marriages to be one flesh.

1. Weaving Spiritually

- Reading the Bible together

- Praying together

- Going to church together

- Making visits, telling others about Christ together

- Passing out tracts together

- Never discourage spiritual interests, encourage them and make a way

- As you both draw closer to God, you both draw closer together

2. Weaving Emotionally

- You know how you can weave emotionally together, spend time together

- Experience life together

- Find things that you can enjoy together

3. Weaving Physically

- God’s plan for the physical aspect of marriage has been distorted by the Devil.

- We live in a culture that is sex-crazed – the fact is that God meant for the marriage relationship to be whole and pure. The reason that many marriages are not weaved physically is because they have been weaving physically with the eyes or literally.

- God wants you to have eyes for your spouse for life.

- Sex can become a battlefield within the marriage, but God has commanded us to give due benevolence, to meet one another’s needs, it is not to be used as a weapon.

- Commit yourself to building this a close, satisfying physical relationship

Some marriages are on the rocks, they are having problems, and you think well we will go ahead and restore it by restoring the physical relationship.

But we need to do is to start it spiritually, then emotionally, and then work it out physically.

Developing Oneness in Marriage

Genesis 2:18-25