Let's Stay Together
Notes
Transcript
On a television show, “Divorce Wars,” a thriving divorce lawyer found himself on the brink of divorce, even though he strongly believed in family life. As he began to ponder why his marriage was falling apart, he asked a friend the following question: “Max, how did you stay married for thirty-five years.”
Max, being older, had a rather illuminating answer: “I guess in our generation we didn’t expect as much from each other—and we ended up getting more.”
Blessed Lord, You have caused all Holy Scriptures to be written for our learning. Grant that we may so hear them, read, mark, learn, and take them to heart that, by the patience and comfort of Your holy Word, we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life. … through Jesus Christ, Your Son, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever, amen.
2 And Pharisees came up and in order to test him asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?” 4 They said, “Moses allowed a man to write a certificate of divorce and to send her away.” 5 And Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. 6 But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7 ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, 8 and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9 What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
I know that divorce hurts. My parents divorced when I was young, and for years, I refused to acknowledge it. I don’t know how it affected my sister, but a lot of decisions that I made as an adult were rooted in a desire to avoid pain, including the pain of divorce. I think that they were also rooted in the fact that I did not know how to fear and love God, even though, for much of my adult life, I was a Christian, a baptized believer. As I like to say, “You don’t know what you don’t know.”
We don’t know what life was like in Eden, before the Fall. We don’t know what marriage was like in the pureness of the Garden. For us, all relationships have the fragrance of death upon them, the taint of sin. We find it hard to completely trust our friends, our family; our most intimate relationships, even God. Even in our times of celebration or pleasure, there is a sense of fragility, that we can lose it all.
By contrast, the Psalmist wrote of the joy that accompanies those who fear the Lord; he says that they are אַשְׁרֵי (ashre) “happy:”
1 Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! 2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. 3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
Perhaps it is true that we have become so analytical, so steeped in data, so globally connected that we have lost sight of what lies right in front of us. We are connected to so many people, places, and things, that we struggle to keep up with what lies right before us, don’t we?
Do you remember the last time you hugged someone without feeling self-conscious because of COVID-19? The last time you enjoyed a sense of accomplishment over a job well done more than frustration regarding what you didn’t accomplish? The devil has done a masterful job of convincing most of the world to despise God’s gifts and covet what He has not given.
Not everything is for everyone. Everybody is not going to have the same life experiences. There are only 32 men who will become starting quarterbacks in the NFL. There are only so many people who will be fighter pilots, so many will become movie stars, only so many who will become famous - or infamous.
Not everyone will get married, not because there aren’t enough people of the opposite sex - there are - but because not everyone wants to “leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.” Interestingly, that statement contains two distinct verbs, one active and one passive. The man will leave - active - and be joined - passive. That means that the man is the active agent in separating from his parents. They aren’t putting him out, he walks away from them. But then, someone else joins him to his wife - God.
If God does not do this, it will not work right, just like if God does not call you into the Office of the Public Ministry, or God does not equip you to serve in other capacities. You cannot take what God has not given and expect it to work.
In the midst of his instructions regarding marriage, the Apostle Paul makes a statement that interpreters still wrestle with today, not as to whether he said it, but as to its application:
6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.
If this statement is connected to what lies before, it is likely in reference to temporary abstinence between a husband and wife; if it is connected to what comes next, it refers to marriage itself. In a sense, the result is the same, since elsewhere, such as 1 Tim 5:14, Paul clearly states that sexual relations are restricted to marriage. The difference is that married people are expected - no, commanded - to serve one another, while unmarried people are are under no command to serve anyone as it pertains to sexual relations, but are to rejoice in that they are free to serve the Lord without any competing claims:
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.
Gregory J. Lockwood writes in the Concordia Commentary,
1 Corinthians Commentary
Although Paul would like everyone to follow his example and remain unmarried, he realizes he cannot require this of anyone. The gracious gift of remaining not only celibate but also free from burning sexual desire is not given to everyone (cf. Mt 19:11; 1 Cor 7:9). Whether the Christian is called to a chaste celibacy or to marriage, his vocation is God’s gracious gift. Both celibacy and marriage are God’s good gifts to be received with thanksgiving (1 Tim 4:4). Both vocations can only be lived out in a God-pleasing manner under the blessing of God’s continual grace.
In fact, all of God’s gifts are to be received with joy!
13 And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. 14 But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. 15 Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” 16 And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.
Strange as it might seem, there are people who have a problem with children. Jesus wasn’t one of them. Not only did He welcome them into His presence, but Jesus holds them up as the example for adults when it comes to His Kingdom. They don’t take gifts for granted.
There is an old song that goes, “Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings, see what God has done.” I know, it’s so simple. But in fact, we miss out when we take God’s gifts for granted, whether it be the gift of marriage, our children, our parents, our vocations, above all, eternal life itself in Christ.
Just like all the other gifts that God gives by His grace, eternal life does bring with it, some responsibilities. Sometimes it feels like hard work living up to what it means to be a spouse, live out your vocations, or live as a child of God. But we should never lose sight of the truth - Christ’s dying on the cross for us was a lot harder than our living for Him by the power of the Holy Spirit.
23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
and
8 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Eddie James wrote “You’ve Been So Faithful.” The opening lines are the testimony of every Christian who has ever lived:
As I look back over my life
I can see how Your love has guided me
Even though I've done wrong
You never left me alone
But You forgave me
And You kept on blessing
This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope
It's because of Your mercy that we are not consumed
Because Thy compassions fail not, they are new every morning
Great is Thy faithfulness
Great is Thy faithfulness...
As he looked back over his life, the Apostle Paul put it this way to Timothy:
11 The saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with him, we will also live with him; 12 if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; 13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.
Jesus cannot deny Himself. He cannot deny that He is the Lamb of God who, by His precious blood, takes away the sin of the world. He cannot deny that He died and rose again to justify us from everything that the Law could not. He cannot deny that He has a covenant with those who are united to Him in faith and holy Baptism. He cannot deny forgiveness to those who confess their sins. He cannot deny His love for you. Only if you deny Him will he deny you. Great is His faithfulness, and His grace is enough - for you and for me.
So let the peace of God, that passes all understanding, guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus our Lord, Amen.