#6 A Better Way of Living Nov 9 2008
DOING LOVE GOD’S WAY
Fireproof Your Relationships: Sermon Six
Luke 5:1-26
I have a question for you. Who taught you how to tie your shoe laces? Raise your hand when I come to your answer. Was it your mother? Your father? Your brother or sister? Your grandmother? A friend?
I don’t remember how old I was, but I remember that it was my mother who taught me. She showed me how to make a half knot, and then a loop with one lace, wrap the other around it, make a loop with the other lace, slip one through the other and pull tight.
I know that process so well that I had to actually sit down and watch myself do it this week in order to be able to describe it to you.
There is a man named Bob who never learned to tie his shoes. One day in his mid-forties it dawned on him that his shoelaces were always a little funny because he had taught himself how to tie his shoes. Bob came from a family with six children. All the other family members assumed that someone else had taught him how to tie his shoes, so no one ever formally sat down with him to teach this fundamental lesson.
It’s kind of sad, isn’t it?
Tying one’s shoe isn’t that complicated, once you know how, but figuring it out on your own is nearly impossible – the fundamentals of life all go better if you can learn them from somebody who already knows how.
Nowhere in life is this truer than learning to relate to people and nowhere is it more important than learning how to really love people. The sad thing is, in most families—probably in yours, and certainly in mine, no one ever sat us down and said, “Here are the fundamentals of how to love others.” No one ever taught us the fundamentals of how to really love other people.
As a result, we’ve hurt some people we really didn’t mean to, we’ve damaged some relationships, and we have some regrets about others. This morning, I want to show you a better way of loving.
I want to show you a better way to love today. I want to show you the way Jesus loved people.
LUKE 5:1-26 TEXT NOW
The Lake of Gennesaret is also known as “The Sea of Galilee.” This story takes place very early in Jesus’ ministry, so He and Peter have only met a few times before; they’re really just getting to know each other at this stage. Follow with me on this for a minute, and I’ll show you how.
THREE TYPES OF LOVE:
In the New Testament, there are three words for love. One is “eros,” the second is “phileos,” the third is “agape.”
You’ve heard these words before. Our word, “erotic,” comes from eros. The city of Philadelphia (“the city of brotherly love”) comes from phileos. And nothing comes from agape, because agape stands on its own. It is the better way of loving.
Eros love is sensual love. Eros asks the question, “What can I get out of this?” EROS = “WHAT CAN I GET OUT OF THIS?”
Phileos is relational love. It’s a deeper kind of love. It asks the question,
PHILEOS = “WHAT CAN WE GET OUT OF THIS?”
Agape is unconditional love. It’s the deepest kind of love. It asks the question, “AGAPE = “WHAT CAN YOU GET OUT OF THIS?”
Another way to think of these is,
EROS LOVES WHEN…
PHILEOS LOVES BECAUSE…
AGAPE LOVES IN SPITE OF…
With that in mind, let’s look at Jesus’ story.
In Luke 5, Jesus is teaching beside the Sea of Galilee when something happens to Him that’s about to start happening to Him every time He teaches. While He’s teaching, a crowd starts to gather.
Picture this. For an ideal teaching spot, Jesus picks the seashore. There’s a natural slope so everyone can sit and see and hear well. So He starts to teach. As He teaches, more and more people begin arriving.
A few feet from Him is the boat belonging to Simon Peter. “Simon,” He says, “can you take me just a few yards out into the water?” Peter does. Jesus then teaches from the front bow of the boat.
When the sermon is over, Jesus says to Peter, “Put out into the deep water and let’s catch some fish.” After a little resistance, Peter does. He and his partners catch so many fish their boats almost sink.
As Jesus began to teach the people, He had a choice of how to love them. He could have erosed them, or phileosed them or agaped them. His first challenge was how to manage the crowd.
When the crowd began to grow, instead of thinking, “me,” or “we,” Jesus thought “them,” and “you.” While continuing to teach, He thought to Himself, “What can I do to serve these people better?
Without missing a beat, He moved Himself into the boat and set it up so everyone could see and hear and feel comfortable. That’s real love, that’s agape. – Not, “me,” not even, “we,” but “you” love.
Jesus’ second challenge was loving Peter.
When the sermon was over, instead of thinking about Himself, or even thinking about everyone there, He thought about Peter. “Peter,” He says, “Let’s go catch some fish!”
Now, which would have been easier on Jesus: fishing that day, or not fishing? (Not fishing.) He didn’t need the fish. He didn’t need the exercise. He didn’t need to spend the extra few hours in the burning sun. But Jesus wasn’t in the boat for Himself. He was in the boat for Peter. So after the sermon was over, He just loved Peter.
Friends, wouldn’t the world be a better place if all of us loved like that?
Let me give you some principles of this better way of loving:
I. THINKING OR PLACING OTHERS FIRST
Can you see that from the story?
In our house, I do the taxes. I hate doing the taxes, but I love my wife, and she hates doing the taxes, so every year, I get out all the files and start filling out the forms. Because I love Connie. PUTTING OTHERS FIRST.
II. MAKING THE FIRST MOVE
Better love initiates the friendship, rather than waiting for the other person to initiate it. Jesus called Peter, not vice versa. Jesus initiated the idea of fishing, not vice versa. Love takes the first step; it’s proactive, not reactive. It doesn’t wait for others to begin the friendship, it makes the first move.
Love makes the first move.
You might be able to see this even more clearly in this next story in the book of Luke. Right after the big catch,
Jesus heals a man with leprosy. Look at Luke 5:12-16).
The first sign of leprosy was not only a death-sentence, it was an isolation sentence. Lepers were not allowed to live with their loved ones any more. They couldn’t live in the village; they couldn’t come into the village. When a person came within 10 feet of them, they had to shout loudly and clearly, “leper!” or “unclean”, so that everyone would know to stir clear of them.
Leprosy was painful, humiliating, and life-ending. The minute this man noticed one little white spot on his arm or leg or stomach, he was required by the Law to remove himself from all human contact. From that moment, to the end of his life, leprosy was so contagious; he could never touch anyone again. Can you image that? Never being able to hug your wife, pat your son on the head, stroke your daughter’s hair, shake hands with a friend?
As Jesus sees this man, He has a choice of how to love.
Specifically, what does Jesus do before actually healing the man? Let me show it to you because this is so good: “JESUS REACHED OUT HIS HAND AND TOUCHED THE MAN.” – LUKE 5:13
Does He do this before or after the man is well? (Before.)
The man says, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”
Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man, “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!”
Jesus makes the first move. Before healing, He touches.
This is agape, friends. This is, “What can I do for you?” love. This is not, “I love you when…” It’s not, “I love you because…” It’s, “I love you in spite of…” I love you warts and all.
Here’s the third principle you need to practice if you are going to practice a better way of loving:
III. BECOME A RISK TAKER IN GIVING LOVE.
Let me show you one more. Look at Luke 5:18-19.
There’s an old chorus that goes, “Oh, how I love Jesus, because He first loved me.” This story reminds me of how much He loves me. It’s also a great story of the love of some friends. Their buddy can’t walk, so they carry him to Jesus. Only when they get there, Jesus is surrounded. Instead of letting that stop them, they climb the roof of the house, tear through the roofing material, and lower him down in front of Jesus.
I love Jesus’ reaction. He says to the cripple, YOUR SINS ARE FORGIVEN. – LUKE 5:20.
Did Jesus have to say that? (No.) He could have said, “Be healed,” but instead, he takes care of both the man’s body and his soul, healing one, forgiving the other.
IV. GOING THE EXTRA MILE OR STEP
If Jesus had wanted to love this man a little, He could have said, “Stand up and walk.” If He’d wanted to love him a lot, He could have built him up by saying, “The depths of the love of your friends show the depth of the love you must have. Get up and go home.”
But Jesus loves this man too much JUST to heal him, so instead of just fixing his feet, he ministers to his heart too.
A psychologist once asked a group of children about a better way of loving. It was surprising how close they came to agape with all their answers.
One little girl said, “WHEN MY GRANDMOTHER GOT ARTHRITIS, SHE COULDN’T BEND OVER AND PAINT HER TOENAILS ANYMORE. SO MY GRANDFATHER DOES IT FOR HER ALL THE TIME, EVEN WHEN HIS HANDS GOT ARTHRITIS TOO. THAT’S LOVE.” – REBECCA, AGE 8
Another little girl said, “LOVE IS WHEN YOU GO OUT TO EAT AND GIVE SOMEBODY MOST OF YOUR FRENCH FRIES WITHOUT MAKING THEM GIVE YOU ANY OF THEIRS.” – CHRISSY, AGE 6
A little boy said, “LOVE IS WHEN MY MOMMY MAKES COFFEE FOR MY DADDY AND SHE TAKES A SIP BEFORE GIVING IT TO HIM, TO MAKE SURE IT TASTES OKAY.” – DANNY, AGE 7
Another said, “IF YOU WANT TO LEARN TO LOVE BETTER, YOU SHOULD START WITH A FRIEND WHO YOU HATE.” – NIKKA, AGE 6
Which is pretty good advice, because if you can learn to love a friend you hate, then you know you’re not thinking “me,” or “we,” but “you.” And you know you’re not waiting for them to start, but making the first move yourself.
You also know you’re taking a risk, because they might reject you, because loving someone you hate is probably the last thing you’d ever want to do.
Here’s what I know friends. Our world needs a better way of loving. Our friends need a better way of loving. Our families need a better way of loving. We need a better way of loving, and Jesus’ way is it.
Who do you need to love this way today? How will you love them this way?
Here’s another thing I know: None of us are going to become better at loving by accident. It’s very unlikely that any of us will drift into becoming more loving people. The drift in life is always in the direction of ease and slothfulness.
It’s always toward getting the world to rotate more towards our agenda, not us towards others’. But we can do this. If we think about it, pray about it, talk about it, work on it, we can develop a better way of loving.
So who will you love this way today? And how will you do it?
Jesus gave us the example of Loving Better, are you ready to follow Him?