Life of David: Gloom, Despair, and Agony o Me

We’ve all probably had those moments in life where this chorus described how we felt about our current situation. King David is about to enter a period of his life where almost everything was going to be gloom, despair and agony. God had declared that hard times would come to David because of the “Bathsheba incident.”

“Thus says the LORD, ‘Behold, I will raise up evil against you out of your own house. And I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor, and he shall lie with your wives in the sight of this sun.” (2 Samuel 12:11, ESV)

I. GLOOM — David and Bathsheba’s Son Dies

“Then Nathan went to his house. And the LORD afflicted the child that Uriah’s wife bore to David, and he became sick. 16 David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, “Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm.”” (2 Samuel 12:15–18, ESV)

1. few things are more tragic for parents than the loss of a child

a. what makes the death more ragic is that it is part of God’s judgment for David’s adultery, deception, and murder

2. David’s grief over the child’s illness drives him to prayer, and fasting, and humility before the Lord

a. when the child dies the royal court is deeply concerned about telling David for fear that he might harm himself

3. David surprised everyone by his reaction to the news of the child’s death

a. after having laid o the ground fro several days he gets up, washes and put on fresh cloths

b. he then goes to the house of the Lord to worship

c. he then comes back to comfort Bathsheba who obviously is grieving, too

“Then David comforted his wife, Bathshebe, ... “ (2 Samuel 12:24, ESV)

II. DESPAIR — Amnon Rapes Tamar

2 Samuel 13:1-22

1. as we begin chapter thirteen, we will begin to catch a glimpse of just how dysfunctional David’s family is

a. the story begins with infatuation that culminates in a rape

A. SHATTERED — Tamar’s Life Will be Shattered

“Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!” 16 But she said to him, “No, my brother, for this wrong in sending me away is greater than the other that you did to me.” But he would not listen to her. 17 He called the young man who served him and said, “Put this woman out of my presence and bolt the door after her.” 18 Now she was wearing a long robe with sleeves, for thus were the virgin daughters of the king dressed. So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. 19 And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went. 20 And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house.” (2 Samuel 13:15–20, ESV)

1. the word that describes what Tamar will experience is shattered

ILLUS. Like a piece of glass with a rock thrown threw it Tamar’s life is going to be irreparably damaged by the violent sexual assault of her half-brother.

a. Tamar was the daughter of King David and Maacah, who was the daughter of Talmai, king of Geshur

2. Amon is David’s oldest son and the heir-regent to the throne of Israel

a. the text tells us that he is infatuated with his half-sister, Tamar whose older brother is Absalom

b. Amon literally makes himself sick pinning over Tamar

“And Amnon was so tormented that he made himself ill because of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible to Amnon to do anything to her.” (2 Samuel 13:2, ESV)

1) now Amon has a 1st cousin whom he is especially close to; Jonadab who is the son of David’s older brother, Shimeah

2) together they devised a ruse in which Amnon feigned illness and asked Tamar to prepare him food. When she brought it to him in his chamber, Amnon pressed her for sex

3) she vehemently refuses to no avail

3. the result is that Amnon rapes his sister, and immediately his feelings for her turn to hate

“ ... he violated her and lay with her. 15 Then Amnon hated her with very great hatred, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, “Get up! Go!”” (2 Samuel 13:14–15, ESV)

a. the word hated in vs. 15 is a strong word meaning to recoil at the thought of any continued contact

1) he sends her out of his room and bolts the door

4. her life is turned upside down — the loss of her virginity, even though it was lost by rape, condemned her to a future without marriage

a. she leaves Amon’s room and goes into mourning

“And Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long robe that she wore. And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went. 20 And her brother Absalom said to her, “Has Amnon your brother been with you? Now hold your peace, my sister. He is your brother; do not take this to heart.” So Tamar lived, a desolate woman, in her brother Absalom’s house.” (2 Samuel 13:19–20, ESV)

b. she goes to live with her full brother, Absalom, and lives the life of a desolate woman

5. the Prophet Nathan’s prediction that disaster would occur among David’s family was coming to fruition

a. for Tamar, the disaster was both personal and painful

III. AGONY — Absalom Murders Amnon

2 Samuel 13:23-39

1. Absalom’s emotional dial is on a slow-simmer

a. two years go by an he does not speak to Amnon

2. with plans for vengeance already developing in his own mind he counseled his sister to remain silent about the matter and to stay in his house

3. David somehow heard what had happened, and though he was furious he did not invoke the penalty prescribed by the Law

a. the Scriptures are silent about any action that David may have taken against Amnon ... the heir to the throne

b. one thing is clear ... David's treatment of this situation did not suit Absalom

A. DEVASTATED — David’s Life is Devastated by this Event

1. after two years Absalom strikes

a. he hosted a festival to celebrate the time of sheepshearing, a custom observed in Israel from earliest times

b. he invited and urged his father David to join him for the festivities, but David declined

1) Absalom then requested that Amnon attend in David’s place

2. in the midst of the merriment the servants of Absalom, on a prearranged signal, attacked and murdered the unsuspecting Amnon

a. thus a murder avenged a rape

“Then Absalom commanded his servants, “Mark when Amnon’s heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon,’ then kill him. Do not fear; have I not commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant.” 29 So the servants of Absalom did to Amnon as Absalom had commanded. Then all the king’s sons arose, and each mounted his mule and fled.” (2 Samuel 13:28–29, ESV)

3. now the place where this happened is Hazor which is only about twelve miles north of Jerusalem

a. very quickly word reaches the royal palace and David is informed “ ... “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons, and not one of them is left.”” (2 Samuel 13:30, ESV)

b. David is devastated by the news

“Then the king arose and tore his garments and lay on the earth. And all his servants who were standing by tore their garments.” (2 Samuel 13:31, ESV)

1) amazing enough it is Jonadab son of Shimeah — that one who help put this whole mess in motion — is the one who informs David that the rumor is not entirely true

2) only Amnon is dead and the rest of his sons have survived

3) David is partially relieved, but will mourn over the death of the crown prince

“But Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son day after day.” (2 Samuel 13:37, ESV)

4. David, has in realty, lost two sons on that day for Absalom flees to the town of Geshur where he lives in exile for three years with his maternal grandfather

a. this leads to our last part of the Hee Haw dirge

IV. DEEP DARK DEPRESSION EXCESSIVE MISERY — Absalom Conspires to be King

2 Samuel 14:1-37

1. this will be the lowest point of David’s life

a. chapters 15-17 of 2 Samuel continue to reveal the series of disasters that befell King David’s family as a consequence of his sins involving Bathsheba

2. as chapter fourteen begins, David is continuing to mourn over the loss of Amnon, but also over the absence of Absalom

a. Joab, David’s nephew, sees the king in mourning and attempts to broker a reconciliation between David and Absalom

b. Absalom is allowed to return, but even then does not see or speak to the King for another two years

“So Joab arose and went to Geshur and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. 24 And the king said, “Let him dwell apart in his own house; he is not to come into my presence.” So Absalom lived apart in his own house and did not come into the king’s presence.” (2 Samuel 14:23–24, ESV)

3. just as Absalom had plotted for two years to kill Amon, Absalom has now been plotting a coup de ta against his own father

a. he began by endearing himself to Israelites who entered the gates of Jerusalem in hopes of gaining a hearing before the king

1) Absalom sympathized with the citizens’ cases, implying “If I were king over Israel ... “

“Then Absalom would say, “Oh that I were judge in the land! Then every man with a dispute or cause might come to me, and I would give him justice.” 5 And whenever a man came near to pay homage to him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. 6 Thus Absalom did to all of Israel who came to the king for judgment. So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.” (2 Samuel 15:4–6, ESV)

2) according to 2 Samuel 15:7 this goes on four years

4. the foundation has been laid in 2 Samuel 15:8-13 Absalom’s plan is put into motion and David and the entire royal household flee Jerusalem

a. in 2 Samuel 16:15-23 we see Absalom proclaimed King over Israel, and Ahithophel, David’s most loyal advisor shifts his allegiance to Absalom

b. his first piece of royal advise to Absalom is to go to the royal palace and rape the ten concubines that David left behind

“Then Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give your counsel. What shall we do?” 21 Ahithophel said to Absalom, “Go in to your father’s concubines, whom he has left to keep the house, and all Israel will hear that you have made yourself a stench to your father, and the hands of all who are with you will be strengthened.”” (2 Samuel 16:20–21, ESV)

V. LESSONS

1. to put it mildly, David’s life is a royal mess

A. GRIEF IS A PART OF LIFE

1. in this era of David’s life he seems to be a man always grieving

grieving bad decisions

grieving the death of a new born son

grieving the death of a grown son

grieving the treachery of another son

grieving the loss of his throne

grieving the betrayal of trusted friends

B. SEXUAL ABUSE IS REAL AND THE CHURCH NEEDS TO EXPOSE IT AND MINISTER TO THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED IT

1. many women in our society, which means many women in our churches, have been the recipients of sexual abuse

a. when Tamar came to her brother, he attempts to comfort her, but he also tells her not so say anything about the rape to anyone

b. she’s basically to pretend that nothing has happened

C. OUR BEHAVIORS ARE OFTEN LEARNED FROM OUR PARENTS

1. the sins of the father often become the sins of the son

a. none of us sins in isolation

2. children see and emulate the behavior of their parents, and David’s sons, two of them at least, seem to have picked up David’s worst trait, not his best

a. it means that parents must constantly strive to be Christ-like

b. a parent’s most important ministry is to raise their children in the Lord

ILLUS Even then children often choose to go wrong.

D. SIN CAN HAVE A HIGH COST

1. David’s Sin Wearied Him ... Weighted on Him ... Wounded Him ... Worried Him ... Weakened Him

E. VENGEANCE REALLY DOES BELONG TO GOD, NOT US

1. if Absalom had allowed God to meet-out vengeance in His own time and way a lot of heartache would have been avoided in David’s family

2. Absalom’s choice put into motion events that would have serious consequences

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