Sinners Made Saints — A Theology of Singleness

Text: 1 Corinthians 7:1-40

Theme: Singleness is good and singles have a place in the Body of Christ.

Date: 10/02/2021 Title: 1_Corinthinas_13 ID: NT07-07

It may come as a surprise that Paul actually has a lot to say about Christians who are unmarried and how they should view their unmarried life. Paul zeroes in on the topic in 1 Corinthians 7 in answer to some questions the Corinthian Christians had written him on marriage, singleness, and divorce.

With the rise of prolonged singleness in our churches, we must clearly understand what the Bible says about marriage and singleness. Just as there is a theology of marriage there is a theology of singleness.

I. MARRIAGE AND SINGLENESS

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” (1 Corinthians 7:8–9, ESV)

1. last Sunday we looked at Paul’s advise about marriage

a. that advise is wrapped up in four observations ...

1) marriage is not a spiritually inferior state to singleness

2) marriage is the norm for the vast majority of earth’s inhabitants — including Christians

3) marriage is about deep friendship, physical intimacy and an illustration of Christ’s relationship to his church

4) singleness is okay

2. Paul’s ultimate advise to the Christians at Corinth is that marriage is good, it is God’s way for human flourishing and should not be avoided

a. it is not a spiritually inferior way of life, and sex is not dirty regardless of what some of the false teachers at Corinth are saying

3. when writing about marriage Paul has both a lofty view, and a practical view of the institution

a. in Ephesians 5:22-32 the Apostle gives an exalted view of marriage

1) at it’s best marriage is an illustration of the Church subservient to Christ

a) when the wife is reverencing her husband, when she is obeying her husband, when she is being submissive to her husband that is a glorious illustration of how the Church responds to Christ who is our bridegroom

b) he is Lord and we are to treat him as Lord

2) at its best marriage is an illustration of Christ loving the Church

a) when the husband is loving his wife, when he is sacrificing for his wife, when he is helping his wife become everything she can be, that is a glorious illustration of how Christ loves his Church who is his bride

b) he is Savior who poured out his life for us

3) if you and you spouse are both believers you are to strive toward this exalted view of marriage even though you will never fully achieve it

b. in 1 Corinthians 7:32-38 the Apostle gives a down-to-earth view of marriage

1) with marriage comes anxieties — worldly concerns you have to think about

2) in marriage there are potholes some of which are shallow and of minor annoyance, (like how to mount the toilet paper on the dispenser), while other potholes are deep enough to cause major damage and take time and effort to fix (like having a different worldview on money, and saving vs. spending)

c. Paul says in vs. 32 “I want you to be free from the anxieties [of marriage]”

4. Paul is honest about marriage — it is glorious, and at it’s best enables both partners to flourish and reach their maximum potential as humans — and for us Christians — our maximum potential as Christ-followers

a. but there are anxieties attached to marriage

“33 ... But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided.”

“34 ... But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband.”

b. Christian marriage brings two lovers into a relationship — a man and a woman who are physically, emotionally and spiritually attracted to each other

1) that brings a lot of promise and potential success into the marriage

c. Christian marriage also brings two sinners into a relationship — two individuals who are flawed physically, emotionally and spiritually and will, at times, be antagonists to each other

1) it means that in the morning you can be acting incredibly self-sacrificing, and self-effacing toward your spouse, and be the end of the day you can be acting incredibly selfish, and self-absorbed

5. I think Paul would tell us this morning — “Marriage is a wonderful institution established by God for human flourishing ... just go into it with your eyes wide open”

ILLUS. An old Danish proverb says, “A deaf husband and a blind wife are always a happy couple.”

a. all that said ...

A. MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE

1. marriage is not for everyone and so the Apostle addresses those in the Church who are currently single

a. Paul makes it clear in 1 Corinthians 7 that singleness is not a predicament that needs to be addressed, an emergency that needs attention, or a problem that needs to be solved

1) quite the reverse: Paul says twice in the passage that the unmarried state is “good”

b. the word unmarried in vs. 8 literally means not presently married and refers to adults who never have been married as well as to those who are either widowed or divorced, but not yet remarried (more on that next week)

2. Paul will now go on to defend Christians who choose to remain single

a. the Apostle’s view of singleness was revolutionary in 1st century Greco-Roman society

1) in that society men and women were expected to marry young, and produce a minimum of three children

ILLUS. In an era where one-third of children never made it past their 5th birthday, that makes sense. Nine of Susanna Wesley’s 19 children died in infancy.

a) in the Greco-Roman culture of the 1st century family was everything

b) it gave you your identity — a man in particular was known as son of ... and a woman’s identity was defined either through her relationship with her father or legal guardian or her husband

2) whether it was Greek culture or Roman culture or Jewish culture, men and women who lost a spouse were expected to re-marry as soon as possible

ILLUS. So important was marriage and the production of children that Emperor Augustus, Rome’s 1st emperor, decreed that any widowed woman single more than two years, was to be fined. If you were a single person you were considered a drag on society and an embarrassment to yourself.

b. but Paul, contrary to the social norms of his day, actually encouraged celibacy and singleness

1) in fact, the Apostle is so completely committed to a life of singleness that he longs for everyone to practice it

a) in 1 Corinthian 7:6 he tells the church, “I wish that all were as I myself am” i.e. single and celibate

3. the reason Paul chose singleness, however, is totally at odds with why so many in Western culture choose singleness today

a. in the current social climate of Western culture people cherish singleness because they cherish autonomy and maximum freedom

b. but, unlike Paul and the early church, singleness and celibacy rarely, if ever, go hand-in-hand in western culture

ILLUS. To coin an old proverb, “We want our cake, but we want to eat it, too”. In other words, single people in western culture want the autonomy and independence of singleness, without the discipline and responsibility of celibacy.

4. Paul cherished his singleness because it put him utterly at the disposal of Christ and the gospel

B. PAUL CHOSE SINGLENESS AND UNHINDERED SERVICE TO CHRIST

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33 But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35 I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32–35, ESV)

1. do you see the benefit of Christian singleness ? ... in vs. 35 Paul says that singleness secures your undivided devotion to the Lord

ILLUS. Interestingly enough even many supposedly Christian websites give way more secular reasons for singleness than biblical reasons. Here are a few non-Christian “reasons for singleness” I found on various Christian sites:

Traveling and Exploration

Less Drama

Sharpen your mind and learn as much as you can

Work on achieving your Bucket List

Shopping

For some reason I don’t see Paul counseling Lydia to stay single so that she can work on her “bucket list.”

a. those may, I suppose, be valid secular reasons for remaining single, and none are evil or sinful in and of themselves for believers

1) if you’re here this morning, and you’re a single Christian there ain’t nothing wrong with having a bucket list or enjoying shopping

2) they certainly, however, miss the mark for singleness from a biblical viewpoint

b. Paul uses his own life as an example

1) when he says in vs. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am he’s wishing that other believers in the Church at Corinth might choose celibacy and singleness so that they might have an extraordinary freedom to travel the world preaching the gospel and planting churches

2) in the biblical theology of singleness, singleness is all about pouring your life out for Christ and his gospel, not pouring out your life for yourself

2. for those believers who are single or widowed Paul reminds them that their singleness may well be a gift from God that gives them the opportunity to serve Christ more fully

a. and, from the Christian understanding, with the call of singleness also comes the spiritual gift of celibacy

1) look at 1 Corinthians 7:7 where the Apostle writes, “I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (1 Corinthians 7:7, ESV)

2) the gift Paul refers to here is the gift of celibacy

3. for this reason singleness is not for everyone

a. if you believe that God has called you to singleness, celibacy goes with it

1) for the Christian single this is a biblical non-negotiable

b. if celibacy is something you don’t wish to practice than marriage should be the option you choose

1) this is why Paul recognizes that, for the vast majority of Christians, marriage will be the normal experience

4. not everyone is cut out for the single life, but for those believers who are it can be a life poured out for Christ

II. SINGLENESS AND CHRISTIAN COMMUNITY

1. for most of it’s history the Church has honored marriage over singleness

a. the reasons are as follows

1) most people in the Bible were married

2) in the Bible, God’s first commandment to humanity is “be fruitful and multiple” which can only be done (biblically) through marriage

3) in Genesis, we’re told that “it’s not good for man to be alone”

4) marriage is the place we get to live out the Christian life up close and personal with the people closest to us, who can, at times, be the most difficult to love

5) sex is a gift God created for married people and isn’t dirty or something to be ashamed of

6) since most people don’t do a good job of controlling their sex drive, marriage is God’s check on promiscuity, indiscriminate sex, and fatherless children

b. for all these reasons, marriage is a good and holy institution that is God’s plan for the majority of mankind

1) and it is Christianity that elevates marriage to a place where both men and women can flourish

2. that said, in God’s eyes the single Christian and the married Christian are on equal footing before God

a. God calls everyone to singleness for at least part of their lives

1) some people he calls to marriage (and then sometimes he calls them back to singleness, i.e. if a spouse dies)

b. neither position is holier, more mature, or better than the other

1) each relational status has pros and cons (though if you’re single and wanting to be married, it can be hard to see the cons of marriage)

2) each status has situations in life where its preferable

3) both have their own unique challenges

3. the good news is ...

A. GOD WANTS CHRISTIAN SINGLES TO FLOURISH, TOO

1. the Church must never make Christians who are single feel like second-class church members

ILLUS. Considering current social trends the church better get used to singles making up the majority of a congregation. Among 30-64 year old Christians, 40 percent are not married. Many of them are divorced, some are widowed, but a healthy number — about 13% — have never been married.

a. Paul makes it clear in this morning’s passage that God’s people, whether married, widowed, single-never married or divorced have a place in the Body of Christ

2. singles can flourish through intimacy

a. singles may not have the type of intimacy that comes with marriage, but intimacy is still available to them in the out-working of the Body of Christ

1) if intimacy is a close, familiar, and affectionate personal relationship with another person, then intimacy is something Christian singles can experience

2) singles can live without sex (yes, you really can), but they can’t survive without intimacy

a) our culture insists that intimacy is all about sex

b) Christianity has always taught that intimacy is all about deep relationships and friendships

b. God supplies that intimacy in the context of Christian community

ILLUS. You’ve heard me mention Dietrich Bonhoeffer over the years. He was a German pastor and theologian who opposed the Nazis during the 1930. He was ultimately arrested for being part of a plot to assassinate Adolf Hitler and died in the Flossenburg Concentration Camp at the age of 39. He had never married. On Christian singleness he wrote: “The physical presence of other Christians is a source of incomparable joy and strength to the believer. The believer feels no shame when he yearns for the physical presence of other Christians. The believer lauds [praises] the Creator, the Redeemer, God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, for the bodily presence of a brother [or sister]. The companionship of a fellow Christian is a physical sign of the gracious presence of the triune God. Therefore, let him who until now has had the privilege of living in common Christian life with other Christians praise God’s grace from the bottom of his heart. Let him thank God on his knees and declare: It is grace, nothing but grace, that we are allowed to live in community with Christian brethren.”

c. singles may not be able to have the unique depth of intimacy that married couples enjoy, but they can have a unique breadth of intimacy that a married person may not be able to experience

3. singles can flourish through family

a. singles — even Christian singles — may find themselves grieving the fact that they may never have a family or children

b. but Christ himself offers the Church a new understanding of family

“While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. 48 But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” 49 And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! 50 For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”” (Matthew 12:46–50, ESV)

1) what singles may lack in physical family God makes up for with spiritual family

4. singles are valuable to church ministry

a. does the church need married couples?

1) of course it does

b. but singles have a wonderful opportunity to give themselves in time, energy, and flexibility in a way that married couples cannot because of their duties to spouse and children

ILLUS. If Southern Baptists had “patron saints” one of the pre-eminent saints in our history would be Lottie Moon. She is the most famous missionary in the annuals of Baptist life serving on the foreign mission field forty years. She never married and served out her life in the back-country of 19th century China. With single–minded devotion to her calling, Lottie Moon broke an engagement with a brilliant young scholar because he “adopted the Darwinian theory of evolution.” Years later she wrote, “God had first claim on my life, and since the two conflicted, there could be no question about the result.”

“I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (1 Corinthians 7:7, ESV) ... “I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:35, ESV)