Understanding the Purpose of Marriage

Marriage was established by God in the garden of Eden (Gen 2:21-25).

Adam was alone, there was found no other being to be counterpart.

God saw that it was not good for him to exist in this lonely state.

So, God created a second being that was simultaneously the same and yet different from Adam.

Eve, the first woman, was made with the purpose of being united to Adam, the first man.

God, in His love and grace, provided for Adam and Eve to meet each other.

It was God that brought Eve to Adam.

Imagine the joy and excitement when Adam first saw Eve.

He had looked through every other created being on earth.

None of them were a match for him.

But, now, here was Eve, obviously the same as him, but also obviously different.

Moses records God’s will that their union remain a pattern for every couple that would follow them.

We see a separation from the former.

We see an all-encompassing unity.

We see a shamelessness existence of acceptance.

It is a beautiful, fulfilling picture.

There is great joy in marriage.

But, as we said on Sunday, the personal fulfillment that one may find in marriage is not the primary purpose for marriage’s existence.

There is a greater purpose in God’s provision of the institution of marriage than our own personal fulfillment.

Throughout the Old Testament, marriage and it’s purpose were under attack.

Very early on, polygamy became common. Genesis 4:19

Genesis 4:19 KJV 1900

19 And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.

We know that many of our Bible heroes had multiple wives.

Polygamy was never condoned in the Old Testament.

It goes against the formula that God established in the garden.

It also corrupts the purpose for what marriage is supposed to represent.

Divorce was also an Old Testament reality.

Some point to the law as justification for divorce.

When pushed on this matter, Jesus had a few words to say in Matthew 19:7.

King James Version (WordSearch Edition) Chapter 19

7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.

God never wills for a marriage to end in divorce.

When it does, it corrupts the purpose for what marriage is supposed to represent.

Homosexuality was another attack on marriage that was present even in the Old Testament.

You see it in the book of Genesis when the men of Sodom wanted Lot to give them the angels that had entered the city. Genesis 19:5

Genesis 19:5 KJV 1900

5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.

It is forbidden in the law.

Leviticus 18:22 KJV 1900

22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.

Leviticus 20:13 KJV 1900

13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

God isn’t against homosexuality because He’s a homophobe (fear of homosexuals) or because He thinks it’s “yucky”.

God is and always has been against homosexuality because it contrary to His design and it corrupts the purpose for which marriage was given.

Finally, adultery was also a constant threat to marriage.

God dealt severely with those that committed adultery.

We need only call to mind the Bathsheba episode of David’s life to see that adultery was not something that God winks at, no matter who you are.

Adultery erodes the purpose of marriage that God had intended for it.

So, what is this all-important purpose for marriage?

To answer that question, we must go to Ephesians 5:22-33.

Ephesians 5:22–33 KJV 1900

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. 28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: 30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. 31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. 32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

There are a lot of things going on here, and you can be certain that we will return to this passage later in our series.

In this passage, we see God’s plans for the unique roles of the husband and wife.

Husbands - love

Wives - submit

By understanding these roles, we can begin to understand, what Paul, in verse 32, calls, “a great mystery,” the purpose of marriage.

Marriage isn’t primarily for personal fulfillment.

Marriage isn’t primarily for reproduction.

Marriage is meant to be a living representation of the gospel.

Marriage is meant to point us to the gospel.

The gospel gives purpose and meaning to our marriages.

In the Old Testament, God established something that served as a picture of something that was to come.

That being the gospel.

After the gospel is realized and offered to humanity, He comes back around and elaborates for us the meaning or the purpose behind the ancient picture of marriage.

God doesn’t tell husbands to love and wives to submit without a purpose.

We are emulating the gospel story when we fulfill our roles in a healthy, biblical manner.

Others should see a distinct difference in the marriages of believers verses unbelievers.

They think we are just compatible.

They think we just have good communication skills.

In reality Christian husbands and wives should be convinced and committed to the picture of the gospel they are painting.

When this happens, then our marriages, like our eternity will be characterized by gospel principles.

What are those principles?

Faithfulness.

Jesus is faithful to us; we must be faithful to each other.

Why is adultery an attack on marriage?

It messes up the picture of the gospel that we are trying to display.

Jesus will never cheat on you.

Commitment.

Jesus offers us what kind of life?

Why is divorce an attack on marriage?

It corrupts the purpose of marriage.

When we get married we make a vow till death.

When you get saved, there is nothing, not even death, that can separate us from our Savior.

Complementary.

Remember Adam and Eve?

They were the same, and yet they were very different.

Jesus is 100% human, just like us, and yet he is not the same as us.

A homosexual union of two people male and male or female and female fails to depict the right image of the gospel.

Homosexuality mars the image of the gospel because the gospel required Jesus to be different than us in order for us to united with Him.

When we understand the purpose of marriage, we start to have a different perspective on our relationship with our spouse.

We understand why these sins are treated like such a big deal.

Is the gospel a big deal?

How would the church like it if I started perverting the gospel message?

Your response would probably be pretty severe.

Why?

Because I was mis-representing the gospel.

We also gain motivation for having a healthy marriage.

A healthy marriage requires gospel application in out day to day lives.

Love, forgiveness, mercy, grace…these must all be shown to our spouse.

Your spouse may not deserve these things, but you aren’t ultimately doing it for them.

You are doing it for God.