Grace for Hard Hearts

Marriage and Divorce

The real question:

Matthew 19:3 ESV

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”

The real answer:

Mark 10:3 ESV

3 He answered them, “What did Moses command you?”

i.e. The answer is found in God’s Word; the Bible

Matthew 19:4 ESV

4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,

Bridal Language is a consistent thread throughout the Bible

Isaiah 62:5 ESV

5 For as a young man marries a young woman, so shall your sons marry you, and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.

Jeremiah 3:8 ESV

8 She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore.

Revelation 21:9 ESV

9 Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.”

John 14:1–4 ESV

1 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. 2 In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. 4 And you know the way to where I am going.”

God designed Marriage as a picture of the gospel

Ephesians 5:31–33 ESV

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

That is why the permanence of the marriage relationship is to be a lasting and binding one, because it is to show the eternal love and faithfulness of Jesus sacrificially giving His life and then resurrecting to live forever for the purpose of providing for and protecting His People. The picture of marriage applied to God and His people begins very early in time and scripture, and is consistent. No matter the mess we in every generation and culture have made does not change the design and intent of marriage. God designed Marriage. It IS about the gospel.

Jesus’ High View of Scripture - v3

Matthew 22:29–32 ESV

29 But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. 31 And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: 32 ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead, but of the living.”

2 Timothy 3:16–17 ESV

16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

Galatians 1:11–12 ESV

11 For I would have you know, brothers, that the gospel that was preached by me is not man’s gospel. 12 For I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ.

Jesus held the highest view of scripture; namely that in its entirety it IS the word of God; it is God speaking TO us, revealing His character and identity as well as how we ought to live under his beneficent and sovereign rule.

Your Hard Hearts - v5

1. We have, by nature, hard hearts

Exodus 32:9 ESV

9 And the Lord said to Moses, “I have seen this people, and behold, it is a stiff-necked people.

This after they had promised to do ALL God said, but got impatient and completely disregarded God’s ways and fashioned a literal golden calf to call God, attribute the work of God in rescuing them, and worship it in all kinds of blasphemous ways such as prostitution and promiscuity

Isaiah 29:13 ESV

13 And the Lord said: “Because this people draw near with their mouth and honor me with their lips, while their hearts are far from me, and their fear of me is a commandment taught by men,

Matthew 15:7–8 ESV

7 You hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy of you, when he said: 8 “ ‘This people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me;

Which is why we need God to work on our hearts.

Ezekiel 36:26 ESV

26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

Putting it all together and referencing the Exodus account:

Hebrews 8:10 ESV

10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws into their minds, and write them on their hearts, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

While it may manifest in many ways, all of us by nature have a rebellious, restless, and hard heart toward God.

2. What in our lives are we getting wrong because of this?

Anything and everything we think, do, or desire, that is against God’s revealed will / against what is revealed in Scripture

Psalm 37:4 “4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

NHBC 1833 Art 1: Of the Scriptures

...reveals the principles by which God will judge us; and therefore is, and shall remain to the end of the world, the true center of Christian union , and the supreme standard by which all human conduct, creeds, and opinions should be tried.

The specifics will vary from person to person

This question is not a once and done, but rather a way of living

Luther’s 1st Thesis:

When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said, ``Repent'' (Mt 4:17), he willed the entire life of believers to be one of repentance.

3. Grace for hard hearts

Divorce

Ideal vs the Real (he meets us where we are)

God’s design and God’s genuine care

While there is no such thing as divorce without sin, that doesn’t mean that everyone who is divorced or divorces is the sinful cause. God never meant for men or women to have the right to abuse their spouse under the guise of remaining faithful.

He Sent Jesus!

Psalm 8:3–4 ESV

3 When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, 4 what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?

And can it be? - Charles Wesley

And can it be that I should gain An int'rest in the Savior's blood? Died He for me, who caused His pain? For me, who Him to death pursued? Amazing love! how can it be That Thou, my God, should die for me?

How deep the Father’s love - Stuart Townend

Behold the man upon a cross, My sin upon His shoulders; Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice Call out among the scoffers.

Jn 3:16 “16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”

Forgivness & Restoration

John 4

Jn 8:10-11 “10 Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.””

Jn 10:28 “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.”

Marriage and Divorce, although important are but one area in which we, like preceding generations, get wrong to our own, our loved ones’, and our world’s detriment. Our Heavenly Father has given us the principles and guidelines by which to live our lives for our own good as well as His eternal glory. May we daily ask God to change our hearts and minds to align with His perfect will and design, and also thank Him for grace in our reality when it is so distant from His ideal.