The Lordship of Christ in the Home

Colossians 3:18-21

Colossians 3:18–21 NKJV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.

To those who know Jesus Christ, we now live the Christ life. Jesus is to be Lord over every area of our lives. Generally speaking when something is not working properly there is a problem or root cause. Often times we tend to blame the symptoms of the problem rather than the root cause of the problem.

In America we have become good at treating the symptoms of our problems, but we never deal with the root causes. For example you can clean cob webs every day in your house. But if you want to rid yourself of the cob webs you must kill the spider. The spider is spinning the webs and until the spider is gone you will do the same activity every day and gain no ground. Cleaning the cobs is treating the symptom not the root cause.

We have done the same thing in our homes. Do you know there has been a major shift from marriage to cohabitation in America? Do you know that according to Pew Research 2 parents in first marriage has fallen from 73% in 1960 to 46% in 2014? Now I am not bashing divorced people, but I do want to point out, If God’s plan is followed His promised outcome will happen. So it stands to reason if His promised outcome is not happening then its pretty safe to say that His plan is not being followed.

I am preaching the text, Im not taking shots at those of you that have gone through divorce. I do not have you or your situation in mind, just what the text says.

I believe the root cause of family problems and divorce is failure to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ in our homes. You might have been previously married and you submitted and your spouse didn’t, or your spouse may have submitted to the Lordship of Christ and you didn’t. Perhaps you both refused to submit to the Lordship of Christ in your marriage.

That is the root cause. Unfaithfulness is a symptom, arguing and fighting is a symptom. Most of the problems couples go to counseling over are symptoms. How do I know that? Because God’s plan always works.

Marriage in particular is two imperfect people who desperately needs the help of the only Perfect Person, Jesus Christ. God has a design and plan for the family. That plan is laid out for us over and over in the Scriptures. So what is this plan?

The passage here in our text has a companion that must be studied together. Paul wrote the same things in regard to the family both here and in Ephesians 5:21 and following.

Ephesians 5:21-25

Ephesians 5:21–25 NKJV

submitting to one another in the fear of God. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,

Here is the key to understanding your Biblical role in your home.

Ephesians 5:21

Ephesians 5:21 NKJV

submitting to one another in the fear of God.

The key is first submission to the Lord and then to each other! Submission means “to arrange under, to subordinate. This is a willful, voluntary act. No one makes you do it. Submission to the Lord is the act of laying down my desires and wishes, my way of doing things to follow His way!

It is of utmost importance that we submit ourselves to the Lordship of Christ first. Refusal to submit to Him insures we will fail. Refusal to surrender to the Lord leads to self centeredness and self centeredness destroys relationships.

So what does Paul tell us to do practically in our homes in order to bring our lives under the Lordship of Jesus Christ?

Wives Submit to Your Own Husbands. (Vs18)

Many times when a passage like this comes up I hear this saying, “you show me a husband that loves his wife like Christ and I show you a wife that is submitted to him”. That’s not true! I have known men who loved their wives with all they had and the wives still did not submit. This is called deflection. Humans have become quite good at it. Deflection is when one changes the attention from one issue by bringing up another.

Jesus didn’t say wives submit to your own husband as long as he loves you like Christ. Here is where humanity gets involved and causes problems. Humanity wants to do what we want to and then blame someone else when it fails. This is an unconditional clause or statement. God designed that the husband is to be the leader of the Home. Ladies is you refuse to submit to him you are refusing to submit to the Lordship of Christ in your life. As is fitting in the Lord means “it is proper”. Paul says it is the proper thing in the Lord for wives to submit to their own husbands.

Husbands love your wives. (Vs 19)

Again we must compare Scripture with Scripture. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church. Men if you are not loving your wives as Christ loved the Church because she is not submitting herself to you, then you are sinning just as much as she is because you are not surrendered to the Lordship of Christ.

Most problems in marriage are a result of the root cause of the refusal to submit to the Lordship of Christ in your God given responsibilities. Don’t be bitter towards them, remember the fruit of the Spirit applies in the home just as it does in the Church.

Children Obey Your parents. (VS20)

Children have the responsibility to obey their parents. God’s plan for order in the family is for the children to be submitted to the authority of his/her parents. Kids don’t get to to be in charge. This is a huge point. If your children won’t respect your authority they won’t respect any authority. Your home will be in chaos if children don’t obey their parents in all things.

Fathers do not provoke your children (Vs21)

Fathers as leaders in the home sometimes we can provoke or exasperate our children. We do this by continual agitation and unreasonable demands which will only discourage them.

I see this all the time in kids sports. I watch a kid pitch the ball doing the best he can while his father is yelling at him and the kid gets exasperated and becomes discouraged. You can literally see his shoulders slump and his head drop. Some fathers do this by constant criticism of their children to the point the child doesn’t think he or she can do any thing right.

What good is it if your child is a top athlete but can’t stand to be around you?

Family matters and God has a plan for the family. When each member of the family has surrendered to the Lordship of Christ, then and only then we will know the power and joy of God’s plan. When we follow God’s plan we will receive God’s promised outcome.

Maybe the root cause of a lot of America’s problem is the refusal to follow God’s plan for the family? So what do we do?

1. Examine ourselves.

2. Confess

3. Repent

Let’s not only promote God’s plan for the family with His power let’s live it. Christ is to be Lord over our families.