BUILD LIVES

The Purpose of Discipline vs. Punishment

B Be Under Authority – Take time, get alone to make sure your heart is right before disciplining. Have your child go to the designated discipline area (i.e., parent's bedroom).

o Proverbs 1:7 - "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom."

o Luke 7:8-10 – Centurion: one with authority but Under the authority

U Uncover behavior -Examine behavior. Lead your child through self-examination of their actions/behavior.

o Psalm 26:2-"Examine me O Lord,"

o Psalm 139:23-24

o Acts 5:35 - Peter asked Ananias, "Did you lie? Did you keep back part of the price of the land for yourself? While it remained, was it not your own? After it was sold, was it not in your own control?"

I Inner Attitudes - Examine Attitudes. Develop an awareness of the attitudes of the heart. Each child is unique.

o Jonah 4:4 & 9 - God asked Jonah, "Is your anger good?"

o Proverbs 4:23 "Out of the heart... flow the issues of life."

o Matthew 15:18-19

o Matthew 21:28-32. Each son had a different initial response. Some kids "act" compliant and hide disobedience. Others don't respond correctly at first but have a developed conscience.

L Look for Conviction – Establish GUILT. "Did it make you feel good after you did it?"

o John 1:8 - "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves..."

o Philippians 4:8 - maintain the PEACE of God because of a HEALTHY conscience.

o Hebrews 11:25-26 - "did not choose the passing pleasures of sin/but the riches…

D Discipline - If EXCESSIVELY crying, ask them to "Cry quietly," or if they struggle against you, ask them to stop, or You will administer discipline again. (7x -of perfection)

o Proverbs 25:28 - "Whoever has no rule over his own spirit..."

o Proverbs 13:24; 19:18; 20:30; 22:15; 23:13-14; 29:15

L Listen for understanding -Ask, "Do you understand why you were spanked?" Beware of PASSIVE rebellion- "I don't know."

o Proverbs 4:1-27 - "Hear my children the instruction of a father."

I Instruct- Repeat their answer. Be patient with this process but discern the CRUCIAL issue. Do they understand the wrong done and ACCEPT responsibility without BLAMING someone else?

o Matthew 5:3 - "Blessed are the poor" purpose

o Proverbs 16:18-23 - "he who heeds finds good."

V Victory in prayer - Pray and CONFESS the sinful attitude and resulting BEHAVIOR.

True righteousness comes through deliverance and cleansing. That means agreeing with God that it was wrong. Asking for forgiveness from God. Key wording desired would be, "Please forgive me," not "I'm sorry." Asking for forgiveness involves the will of the person offended. Just saying, "I'm sorry" focuses on self.

o Matthew 5:6 - "Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness"/ success

o Matthew 5:8 - "Blessed are the pure"/ freedom

o Proverbs 28:13 - confesses/ finds mercy

o 1 John 1:9 – If you confess your sin, He is faithful to forgive you and CLEANSE you from all unrighteousness.

E Express love- Let them know you LOVE them and FORGIVE them.

o 1 John 1:9 Be an EXPRESSION of Divine love and Forgiveness

o Psalm 32:1-2 - blessed arid forgiven

S Seek restitution – RESTORE the relationship and make restitution if needed.

o Matthew 5:23-24 - "First be reconciled..."

o Exodus 22:1-15 - "restore double."