Who to Date

Recap dating series - show stats, i am not anti dating - but the world doesnt know how to date well, dating today has a lot of confusion, hurt, selfishness ect.

recap first lesson, and second lesson

Finding the right current

The bible doesnt talk about dating - BUT dating has a lot to say about evaluating

Proverbs 25:24

Proverbs 25:24 (ESV)

It is better to live in a corner of the housetop

than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

So tonight we’re gonna talk about what kind of person it is you should date - because the person you choose to date in highschool can really effect a lot of your life

What kind of person should person should you date?

so tonight, i’m gonna give you some advice on how to look for someone to date - and if you take this advice I promise you you’ll have better relationships.

What are the wrong things to date someone for?

1) Attractiveness

2) Charm

Proverbs 31:30

Proverbs 31:30 (ESV)

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,

but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

looks and charm are fine to notice, but they can be deciveing. There are some of you in here that have probably been hurt because you dated somone that was cute, but didnt have character. Dont date someone JUST because their cute, or just because their funny - thats fine to notice, but it tells you nothing about their character. and you want to date character, not cute.

3) Popularity

Popularity isnt always bad - there is an aspect of this that is good and we’ll talk about it later but sometimes, just because thier popular - doesnt always mean they should be. Alot of times, people are popular for the wrong reasons. Becasue we make people popular based on these first two things, are they good lookings, are they funny, are they good at sports - but that doesnt tell you anything about their character.

John 15:19

John 15:19 (ESV)

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.

What should we look for?

1) Someone who’s a Christian

if you claim to be a christian, then you’re saying that above everything esle my alligance is to Jesus. Thats what it means to be a christian right. So if thats you, you say I love Jesus, I want to follow Jesus with everything - then dont date someone who isnt a christian. You dont want to tie yourself up with someone who isnt running the same race as you. The bible even tells us this

2 Cor 6:14-15

2 Corinthians 6:14–15 (ESV)

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

Use rope illistration - if you are unequally yoked, you’re going to be pulled, or pull - and eventually the tether will break under the strain of that.

BUT heres the problem… EVERYONE says their a christian in cullman so the next thing to look for is

2)Someone who actualy lives it out

We dont just want someone who says their a christian, you want to date someone who actually walks it out. How serious are they about church? is it something they do every once in a while? when they can? or is it a priority to them

how do they treat other people???? I have seen so many people, girls especially, date someone who wasnt a good person, who was mean to people, belittle them - but when asked about it they say “oh well he has a sweet side with me” - you dont want that. Because sooner or later youll get that other side.

1 Cor 5:11

1 Corinthians 5:11 (ESV)

But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.

if you are around someone who claims to be a Christian but doesnt live it out in his words, or his actions - the bible says be careful around that person. there’s danger there.

3) Someone your parents and friends approve of

your freinds and your parents shouldnt have a problem with you dating someone - if they do, its a red flag. BUT i have seen this all the time, someone dates somebody that all their friends told them not to - and you get the same story every time “they just dont see him like I do” - No, you’re right, they probably see him better, more realistically

Prov 22:1

Proverbs 22:1 (ESV)

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches,

and favor is better than silver or gold.

Eccl 7:1

Ecclesiastes 7:1 (ESV)

A good name is better than precious ointment,

1 Peter 2:12

1 Peter 2:12 (ESV)

Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.

4) Someone who helps you grow

Heb 10:24-25

Hebrews 10:24–25 (ESV)

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Are they making you a better person? in a HS relationship, the person you date WILL influence you. And they’re either going to make you better, help you get closer to the Lord, lead you in to the right things that you should be doing OR they’re going to drag you down. Does the person your dating lead you in to peer pressure? or are they tempting you sexually? or maybe they just have a negative attitude? - an important question to ask when your looking at someone is “does that person bring me up, or do they drag me down?”

5) Someone you have fun with

I dont have any bible verses for this one, but I think its biblical. And you might think this is obvious. But I have seen several relationships where they dated just because the other person was cute, or popular and they had nothing in common, and they didnt really enjoy each other that much. So if you’re going to date, date someone you have fun with. Dont waste your time in grade school dating somone who doesnt make you happy, who doesnt bring.