Confidence During Conflict

So sometimes people can get into arguments over some pretty dumb stuff. The silliest thing I can remember getting into an argument over was with Kristen. Maybe that surprises you, maybe not. This may split the room, but I’m pretty sure guys will be with me on this one. So I’ve always thought that I’m supposed to trust the person I’m with, and i’ve always trusted Kristen. But she had a sleezy ex-boyfriend and when we were dating he would decide to pop up every now and then, but I never worried about it because I trusted Kristen and she had told me that he was a big loser, so it never bothered me. But I had to act like it bothered me because the first time he called her while we were dating she called and told me… and I just said, “oh, ok”. Well that was the wrong reaction!…

Sometimes it’s over dumb stuff, sometimes it’s over serious stuff, but we all have conflict with others in our lives. What we as Christians have to ask is how do we honor God in the midst of the conflict we go through.

This topic may sound a little familiar to those of you who were here Sunday and that’s because this is the follow up lesson to our Life Group lesson from Sunday morning from Bible Studies for Life.

pray and read Jas 4:1-4

We must trust God and follow Him when conflict disrupts our relationships.

Why do we fight?

We’ve got to be honest with ourselves.

Think about the last time you got mad at someone. For most of you, it was probably because someone inconvenienced you or did something you didn’t like. I know it is for me, who else?

We are all sinners, so we all have a tendency to be selfish, and when you’re selfish you get frustrated when things don’t go your way. I can’t think of a time when something good, that honored God, came from that kind of attitude.

James 3:16 ESV

For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.

James takes us further into this in the next couple verses, telling us where conflict is coming from.

Wrong desires and motives.

We need to be motivated by God’s will, not ours. When we’re motivated by what we want for ourselves, things get off track quick.

Think about your favorite movie or tv show. I bet the bad guy wanted something they couldn’t have and that’s why they were doing bad things.

Ask for some of their favorites and show it.

notes in journaling Bible

We take our desires to God, ask Him to make our desires and our prayers match his will, and we trust Him to provide all that we need to accomplish his will for our lives!

We are called to live like Jesus, and Jesus sacrificially served others.

Philippians 2:3–5 ESV

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,

So we have the desire to honor God and do his will inside us, if you’re a Christian. And we all have worldly desires. Check out verse four.

Don’t be a friend of the world.

The desires for wordly things and the things of God don’t go together. One has to rank higher.

Think about sports. Have you ever met someone who said their two favorite college teams are Tennessee and Alabama? No, you haven’t. Because it doesn’t work!

Same thing here.

1 John 2:16 ESV

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Adulterous people?

not in journaling Bible

Why does James talk about this here? A person led by worldly desire is thinking, “I want what I want, even if it costs you.” That leads to conflict.

But that mind of Christ we saw in Philippians, that says, “How can I serve you, even if it costs me?” That doesn’t cause conflict.

So as you go back to school tomorrow… think about how you can be motivated by God’s will. Think about if you’re being led by his desires. Ask Him to line your heart up with his.

That means encouraging others, helping others, not trying to get the most or best for yourself. That may mean you let something go so someone else can have it.

This kind of living avoids conflict. This kind of living honors God. And maybe it will get you the chance to tell someone about this Jesus you are living for!

He is our example in this sacrificial living. He didn’t just live sacrificially, He died as a sacrifice as well…