Gratitude's Nemesis: The Grumble

Consequences of complaining

Man robbed a Wendy’s in Atlanta by grabbing the cash drawer in the drive-thru. Called back. Twice. Complaining that there better be more than $586 in there the next time.

Worse still, was the bank robber in Syracuse NY who walked into an Alliance Bank and demanded $20,000. Handed a bag of cash and made a quick getaway. Got home, counted the loot and it was way short of $20K. Went straight back to the bank to complain and was promptly arrested.

Complaining is as natural as breathing to us. Fortunately, our complaints don’t raise to the level of the two yahoos I just told you about.

Psychologists believe that a “negative bias” is at the root of our need to complain.

We focus on what is “not right” rather than the good.

Now, most of us are nice enough to withhold our irritations and complaints in public although not always.

It’s more likely we’ll save them up and drop all our gripes and grumbles on our friends and family - hoping for a sympathetic ear.

But did you know that all that griping, complaining and grumbling is bad for you and the people who have to listen to it?

Studies have shown that grumbling makes us and our hearers dumber.

MRI’s of the brain show that the hippocampus - part of the brain responsible for memory, emotion and learning - shrinks when subjected to large amounts of the hormones that are released when we are under stress.

When we engage in negative thoughts, emotions and communication, we (and our audience) are stressed.

Add in that we are likely to complain somewhere between 15-30x/day and that’s a lot of stress. Some researchers theorize that up to 60% of our communication is related to complaints.

Now, we’ve had a lot to complain about this past year and a half.

I proposed last week that the cure for the “blahs” we all seem to feel is to deliberately increase our sense of gratitude. That a deep and meaningful if begins with being grateful for blessings in all circumstances.

Today, let’s talk about what can get in the way of experiencing that gratitude and joy in life.

It’s grumbling, complaining. We need to expose our ingratitude by recognizing when we’re falling into the pattern of grumbling and complaining.

How do we turn that negative bias and the resulting grumbling into gratitude?

Ingratitude Exposed

“Expressing displeasure at a perceived injustice. Being personally dissatisfied. Censuring the source of our displeasure.

Exodus 16:3 NLT

3 “If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt,” they moaned. “There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death.”

Exodus 16:8–9 NLT

8 Then Moses added, “The Lord will give you meat to eat in the evening and bread to satisfy you in the morning, for he has heard all your complaints against him. What have we done? Yes, your complaints are against the Lord, not against us.” 9 Then Moses said to Aaron, “Announce this to the entire community of Israel: ‘Present yourselves before the Lord, for he has heard your complaining.’ ”

Consequences of Grumbling

We fail to acknowledge everything God has done.

Romans 1:18–21 NLT

18 But God shows his anger from heaven against all sinful, wicked people who suppress the truth by their wickedness. 19 They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. 20 For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God. 21 Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused.

The result is a “lost mind.”

1 Corinthians 4:7 NLT

7 For what gives you the right to make such a judgment? What do you have that God hasn’t given you? And if everything you have is from God, why boast as though it were not a gift?

Renew Our Minds

Romans 12:1–2 NLT

1 And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 NLT

18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.

Philippians 2:14–15 NLT

14 Do everything without complaining and arguing, 15 so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.