Judah and Tamar

Intro

We are continuing our series, The Masks We Wear

By way of introduction, I’m going to put up a couple different pictures. One of these came out a while ago, and it held the title of How to Offend 4 groups of Geeks

Put up the first picture

But when I went to pull up this picture, I found a new one. This picture takes things up a level. It claims to target 11 different groups of geeks

Put up second picture

So full disclosure, I’m going leave that one up for a bit, I could only identify 9 different geeks that would take offense to this picture, so I’m apparently not a very good geek if I can’t see the other two.

Question 1: What is your favorite movie franchise?

added bonus, for those online, if you can list off all 11 groups that are represented in this photo, that would be hugely helpful. I will repost the photo after service, so please don’t pause the livestream in favor of figuring it out, there will be time at the end.

Now that may seem like the weirdest intro to a sermon, but bare with me, it all ties together, you just wait and see. I’m not afraid to take the road less traveled.

Judah and Tamar

By way of introduction to our next mask, we are going to the very beginning of your bibles. Head to Genesis if you will. Just as a side note, I’m a big believer in reading a paper bible. There is no notifications, there is no distractions, just you, God’s word, and a good journal would be a great practice to get into. If you don’t have a good paper bible, let me know and I would love to fix that for you. This book is so important to our development in life and faith that I can’t stress enough you needing a copy of your own.

So if you’re in Genesis, first book of the bible, we are going to Genesis chapter 38 to a story about Judah. Now there are few interesting notes about this story. Not a common story to be preached from, and kind of in an unusual place in Scripture. Joseph has just been sold into slavery and we switch our attention to his older brother Judah. This is one of those stories that doesn’t get included in the children’s illustrated bible either, it is a little graphic. If you want to see what I mean, check it out later after the service, but here are the cliff notes.

Judah has two sons, and one of them comes of age to be married. The older one, Er, takes a wife by the name of Tamar. Er is evil in the eyes of God, and God kills him. Now at the time, it was tradition that Onan, Er’s brother, would take Tamar as his wife and raise sons who would take Er’s name. Onan doesn’t want to raise Er’s sons, so prevents Tamar from getting pregnant. This angers God, and God kills Onan

Judah, seeing two of his sons now dead, withholds his third son until he is of age, which brings us up to speed with the story.

Genesis 38:12–19 ESV

In the course of time the wife of Judah, Shua’s daughter, died. When Judah was comforted, he went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite. And when Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” she took off her widow’s garments and covered herself with a veil, wrapping herself up, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she had not been given to him in marriage. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. He turned to her at the roadside and said, “Come, let me come in to you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law. She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?” He answered, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.” And she said, “If you give me a pledge, until you send it—” He said, “What pledge shall I give you?” She replied, “Your signet and your cord and your staff that is in your hand.” So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. Then she arose and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood.

Tamar Takes Matters into Her Own Hands

Tamar takes matters into her own hands. She tricks Judah into sleeping with her, which we read results in her getting pregnant. Now this is interesting. Judah is living near Canaanites. Under Canaanite law and religion, prostitution is an acceptable practice. Even though the law of Moses hasn’t come yet, prostitution is a no no amongst the Jacob’s family. So Judah goes to a Canaanite town to do something that should not be done.

The other thing going on here is that under Hittite law, if the sons don’t produce an heir, the father-in-law must step in

Genesis 38:24–26 ESV

About three months later Judah was told, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.” And Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” As she was being brought out, she sent word to her father-in-law, “By the man to whom these belong, I am pregnant.” And she said, “Please identify whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.” Then Judah identified them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her again.

Double Standard

Now hold on a second here Judah. You didn’t seem to have a problem walking into town and recruiting a prostitute three months ago. Why all of a sudden is Tamar’s actions punishable by death? AND burning her to death nonetheless.

In recognition of Judah’s own failure providing his son to Tamar, he absolves her of her sin, and never has anything to do with her ever again.

The interesting note is Judah’s reaction. Judah flies off in fury over the fact that Tamar would do such a thing, even though it was only three short months ago he was acting immorally towards a woman who wasn’t his wife.

Question 2: Have you ever been caught holding a double standard? How did that go?

Unfortunately...

I would really like to say that I had trouble trying to come up with a modern day example of someone holding a double standard. The truth is that there are no shortage of examples to choose from, and so I’m just going to leave it at that. You don’t have to scroll through a news feed very long before you see someone holding a standard for someone else, while living a completely different way.

The Deflector Shield

this mask operates the same way the other ones do. It serves to cover up something that we would like to remain hidden. There is something going on in our life, a sin that we continue to struggle with; a habit that we just can’t break; an offense we just can’t let go of. It takes up real estate in the back of our brain. We beat ourselves up over the fact it is still there, and we certainly don’t want anyone to know about it. If this got out, it would break trust, it could harm relationships. Instead of dealing with it, we just carry it with us. The result is we become hyper sensitive to it popping up in our lives, and by extension the lives of the people around us.

As soon as we hear of someone struggling with the same thing we struggle with, or even a hint of a similar struggle, the deflector shield comes up in an attempt to keep suspicion away from us. This manifests in one of two ways.

Anger

we see this in Judah. He was immoral, he hid from people, except his slave that he sent to take a gift to the prostitute, and to get his stuff back. As soon as word comes out that Tamar is immoral, she must be punished NOW! He doesn’t ask about the guy she was immoral with, because he is trying to deflect attention away. By flying off the handle, the hope is that the strong negative response will convince people this isn’t something to associate with Judah.

Humor

we can use humor in much the same way. If we make light of the situation, we make it seem like it’s not that big a deal, then hopefully no one will associate this struggle with us. Humor is also a safe guard against opening up about anything. We can cover up a lot of hurt and struggles by convincing everyone that we are happy go lucky, nothing ever affects us. The reality is that there are real struggles going on that need the love and support of those closest to us.

Not A New Thing

This is the very thing that Jesus was addressing in Matthew 7.

Matthew 7:1–5 ESV

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

Paul’s Take On It

Paul would later say something similar in Romans 2.

Romans 2:17–24 ESV

But if you call yourself a Jew and rely on the law and boast in God and know his will and approve what is excellent, because you are instructed from the law; and if you are sure that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.”

Take Off the Mask

I can’t help but wonder if the reason we have such a problem with the double standard we see in government or any kind of leadership is because we recognize to some degree with we all hold our own double standards. When it comes to parenting we do this, at least I do. One of the girls is screaming at the other; what do I do? I yell at them to stop yelling at their sister. Hmmmm. That’s a minor one. But it always starts small.

The only way we will ever get rid of this mask is by dealing with whatever is causing us to put the mask up in the first place. How many people are critical of other parents because the guilt or regret of how they parented? How many people are hard on those who refuse to forgive, because they are holding onto offense? How many men are hard on those who struggle with porn because of their secret porn problem? There is no end to this list, and we’ve got to be the people who are willing to stop the cycle!

James 5:13–16 ESV

Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Physical and Spiritual

How many times do we pray for physical healing, when the person is actually in desperate need of spiritual healing? How much of life is being stolen from us because we refuse to confess and let go of the sins that so easily entangles?

Question 3: What are you hiding behind the mask?

A few months ago we did the Set Free Retreat, and it was great. If we ever offer it again, I can not encourage you enough to be a part of it.

One of the takeways was how it redefined what confessing sin means. We often think about confession as pouring out every little detail about the event. But that’s not it. Confession is simply saying identifying the sin, repenting of it, and committing to never doing it again. Why is it that simple? Because you know the details, God knows the details, the person you are confessing to does NOT need to know as well. Simply identifying the problem, and committing to making it stop is all that is required.

So are you ready to get rid of the sin in your life? Are you ready to be set free from it in a way only Jesus can set you free? Are you willing to admit that the sin you’ve been holding on to is hurting you more then its helping? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to get rid of it?

When you confess Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life, you are both forgiven and being sanctified. You are set free, and every day you get to work out exactly what that means.

Let’s Pray!