Tender Toughness

Introduction

We all know Christians are warm, emotional people whose love enables them to express assurance and compassion

We can all use a little more of that tenderness for others

But there is also a toughness we admire in some of the Followers of the Master

They are distinguished by determination and directness

They seem to know who they are and where they are going because they know whose they are and what they are to be and do

They are on the move for a clearly defined goal

They speak the truth boldly and without equivocation

Most of us long to have more of such vision and persistence

The problem is most tender Christians need to be more TOUGH and most Tough Christians need to be more TENDER

Acts 21:1–6 NIV84

After we had torn ourselves away from them, we put out to sea and sailed straight to Cos. The next day we went to Rhodes and from there to Patara. We found a ship crossing over to Phoenicia, went on board and set sail. After sighting Cyprus and passing to the south of it, we sailed on to Syria. We landed at Tyre, where our ship was to unload its cargo. Finding the disciples there, we stayed with them seven days. Through the Spirit they urged Paul not to go on to Jerusalem. But when our time was up, we left and continued on our way. All the disciples and their wives and children accompanied us out of the city, and there on the beach we knelt to pray. After saying good-by to each other, we went aboard the ship, and they returned home.

Many Tender Christians we observe are much too soft

They find it Difficult to speak Bold Truth with Love

Afraid of hurting people, they seldom help them

Peace and Pleasantness become so important that battling for the best is abhorrent

Jesus was always tough with those who needed to grow

His love did not approve of anything people were or did that was destroying them

Rather, his affirmation of people included creative and constructive correction

The woman by the well of Jacob was never approved for having several husbands

The rich young ruler was never assured he that he could keep his love of riches

Peter was not encouraged in his efforts to press the Master to turn away from the sacrifice of the Cross

Herod was exposed as “that fox”

The Pharisees as “whitewashed tombstones”

the scribes as nitpicking legalist

Judas as the betrayer

Our Lord is the perfect example of the blend to tender toughness

Acts 21:7–14 NIV84

We continued our voyage from Tyre and landed at Ptolemais, where we greeted the brothers and stayed with them for a day. Leaving the next day, we reached Caesarea and stayed at the house of Philip the evangelist, one of the Seven. He had four unmarried daughters who prophesied. After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. Coming over to us, he took Paul’s belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, “The Holy Spirit says, ‘In this way the Jews of Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.’ ” When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, “Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus.” When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, “The Lord’s will be done.”

Here we see Paul at his toughest and and tenderness

We empathize with the tenderness of Paul’s friends and admire his tough directness

Acts 20:22–24 NIV84

“And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.

acts 21.1 rsv

Acts 21:1 NIV84

After we had torn ourselves away from them, we put out to sea and sailed straight to Cos. The next day we went to Rhodes and from there to Patara.

Philippians 3:13–14 NIV84

Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Many Tough Christians have little Empathetic feelings for what people face in living it

The Toughness of the Savior was never hardness

He was always tender toward people who were in need

What happened in Tyre is a vivid description of the difference between toughness and tenderness

They told Paul not to go to Jerusalem

They said the Spirit urged Paul not to go

The same Spirit seemed to be giving to different directions

Think of how unsettling this must have been for Paul

Yet Paul was still determined to go to Jerusalem

Sense Paul’s tender response to the people’s love, but also feel the toughness of his vigilance

Tender sentimentality is usually the same: enjoyment without responsibility

We cannot encourage a person to go in a direction we are not willing to go ourselves

But not that the motives of both Paul and his friends were pure

The difference was that they wanted to save Paul; Paul wanted to save the world

After we have prayed our prayers and sought the Spirit’s guidance, we must be sure that our answer stands the test of utmost loyalty to Christ

It is so easy to project our will and perception of what is best into our prayers and to come out with what we wanted all along, with what we wish to think is the Spirit’s confirmation

There is only one pure motive: the desire to know and to do the Lord’s will, Spirit will regardless of the cost to us or to others

Be sure of this: the Holy Spirit will never guide us to give advice to others which, if obeyed, would be an escape from faithfulness

Do we have Paul’s toughness to follow as much guidance as we have been given

How do we handle to protective affection of people around us

Husbands and wives muffle the call of the Master

As parents, our love of our children can be so protective that we clutch them to us and refuse to allow them to grow thru facing difficulties and frustrations

And what about our friends? Have we been tough Christians in helping them to reshape their lifestyle around Christ and the gospel

It is shallow love which desires to keep life smooth and easy for people

by word, suggestion, or outright resistance, we can keep people from doing what God has willed for them to do