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Fathers Who Love Their Children
1561 Father’s Horrible Will
A man by the name of Donohoe penned the following will July 1, 1935.
“Unto my two daughters, Frances Marie and Denise Victoria, by reason of their unfilial attitude toward a doting father.…
I leave the sum of $1 to each and a father’s curse.
May their respective lives be fraught with misery, unhappiness and poignant sorrow.
May their deaths be soon and of a lingering, malign and torturous nature.
May their souls rest in hell and suffer the torments of the damned for eternity.”
It’s just a guess but I’d bet that this family had some tension.
This is not new.
In the Bible there are many records of broken homes (difficult to find examples of good fathers).
Those who do appear either failed to be godly examples or failed in consistent discipline.
David pampered Absalom and results were tragic.
Eli failed to discipline his sons and they were a disgrace to his name and to the nation.
Isaac favored Esau while his wife favored Jacob resulting in a divided home.
Jacob showed favoritism to Joseph and there was strife with his siblings.
Several years ago the Houston Police Department issued a leaflet entitled “How to Ruin Your Children”—Principles:
Twelve Rules for Raising Delinquent Children By the Houston Police Dept.
1) Begin with infancy to give the child everything he wants.
This way he will grow up to believe the world owes him a living.
2) When he picks up bad words, laugh at him, and let him think that it is cute.
This will also encourage him to pick up even cuter phrases that will blow off the top of your head later on.
3) Never give him any spiritual training.
Wait until he is 21 years old and then let him decide for
himself.
4) Avoid the use of the word "wrong".
He may develop a guilt complex, and that would damage the
child's psyche and self-esteem.
This will condition him later on, when he steals a car, that society
is against him and that he is being persecuted.
5) Pick up everything he leaves lying around...like books, shoes, and clothing.
Do everything for him
so he will be experienced in throwing all the responsibility on all other people, except himself.
6) Let him read any printed matter that he can get his hands on, and see all the movies, television,
and videos he wants.
Be careful, of course, that the silverware and drinking glasses are sterilized,
but let his mind feast on all the garbage he wants to put into it.
7) Quarrel frequently in front of your children.
This way, they will not be too shocked when the
home is broken up later on.
8) Give a child all the spending money he wants.
Never let him earn his own.
Why should he have
things as tough as you had them when you were a kid.
9) Satisfy his every craving for food, drink, comfort, and things.
See that every sensual desire is
gratified, because denial might lead to harmful frustration.
10) Take his side against neighbors, teachers, and policeman, because they are all prejudice against
your child...everyone knows that.
11) When he gets into real trouble, apologize for yourself by saying, "I never could do anything with
him."
12) Prepare for a life of grief...you earned it!
November 10, 1998
Human depravity reminds us that children will naturally gravitate toward misbehavior, sinful living, delinquency, rebellion and immorality.
Society understands that.
We of all people (as Xns) should understand how important it is to be sure that our children follow the path of obedience.
It’s not easy.
But I know 1 thing: we must teach them to obey or we’ll have children who will be a grief to us.
Proverbs says that disobedient children are:
Grief to his mother
Rebel
Sorrow
Disaster
Disgrace
Proverbs 29:15 The rod (what we do) and reproof (what we say) give wisdom, But a child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.
If you want shame, disaster, rebellion and grief on your hands—do nothing it will happen automatically.
Now, every family has conflict to some degree or another.
Conflict exists b/c people have preferences and opinions that aren’t always shared by others.
The family that enjoys great peace even in the presence of conflict most likely has fathers/parents who have come to know the Prince of Peace—LJC.
What a beautiful home this would be to every member of the family—esp children.
Children are often neglected and that has to do with the world’s perspective about them:
Many people will go thru life/family seeing children as a mere appendage or weight that keeps them from doing what they want to do.
But that was never God’s design:
Scripture is abundantly clear that children are given by God—they are a gift from the Lord.
He is the source, they are a heritage/reward, source of joy.
They become the blessing of God upon the family.
Most families would love to see peace, tranquility, harmony, unity that really is God’s purpose for family life.
Wives who honor and help their husbands, husbands who love their wives as Christ loved the church, who are servant-leaders and learners in their marriages, children who are actively obedient to their parents…what a refreshing environment that would be compared to what so many encounter today.
One of the key relationships within families (not primary) is parent-child relationship.
So many are looking for guidance and the evidence (10000s of books, sermons, podcasts, etc…).
Parents want help raising children.
Paul’s admonition is profoundly simple (16 words in Gk)…we have in Eph 6:4 the fundamentals of Xn parenting.
Let me give a very simple 2-part outline this morning: 1) The people addressed; 2) The parents admonished
1) The People Addressed
Who is Paul speaking to?
In the strict sense of the Gk pater—“Fathers”—this context seems to support the sense of “parents” rather than restrict this instruction to just fathers.
Children are to obey their parents not just fathers (vv 1-3).
Several commentators make note that this word (while mostly referring to the male parent) will sometimes refer to both parents (Heb 11:23—Moses hid by “parents”-pater)
I believe Paul is addressing both parents but must mention that fathers are directly responsible for seeing this instruction carried out (as head of the home).
Mothers have as much are more influence since she is often the one who spends most time with her children.
Recognize that fathers have tremendous influence/power over their children.
This can be both positive and negative.
In fact the Romans had what is called Patria Postestas (the power of a father) which gave him unfettered power in the home.
Jo-Ann Shelton As the Romans Did (1988):
“A Roman father enjoyed absolute legal control over the lives of his children.
He had the legal right to expose a newborn child; he arranged marriages for his children and could force them to divorce spouses they loved; he could disown a child, sell a child into slavery, or even kill a child whose behavior displeased him.
How strictly or severely an individual father wielded this power depended very much on his personality and temperament as well as on the responses of other family members and the community.
For example, arranged marriages were common in Roman society, but the execution of an adult son by his father was rare.
“Although most fathers were concerned about the well-being of their offspring, they greeted the birth of an infant boy with more joy than the birth of an infant girl.
Daughters often married at a very tender age to men chosen by their fathers; it was not uncommon for girls to be engaged at twelve and married at thirteen, and few were asked their opinions about prospective bridegrooms.
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