Painful Love

Correction is often unpleasant. When we correct those we love it is doubly unpleasant. However, true love does not shy away from correction. There is a strong distinction between loving correction and self-righteous correction. Paul is a model of how we as believers can lovingly offer guidance for turning from sin.

2 Corinthians 2:1-4

2 Corinthians 2:1–4 CSB

In fact, I made up my mind about this: I would not come to you on another painful visit. For if I cause you pain, then who will cheer me other than the one being hurt by me? I wrote this very thing so that when I came I wouldn’t have pain from those who ought to give me joy, because I am confident about all of you that my joy will also be yours. For I wrote to you with many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart—not to cause you pain, but that you should know the abundant love I have for you.

Paul had instructed the Corinthians to correct a member of their church for the sin in his life. This was a “Painful Visit.” But why would it be painful? I think it is a heart of love. Paul even says that he has an “abundant love” for the Corinthians.

He did not want to pile on the correction that he had offered. At times when we see some error we take the tact that we must tear down others sin. This is not Paul’s way. Rather he wanted something that he could rejoice in after his previous painful visit.

Paul also was troubled and anguished in his heart. His affliction had a deep impact on him. Note there is not a tone of condemnation or anger here. His heart is broken over the brokenness of church. His pain for the situation was evidence of his great love for the church.

Notice his statement of motive. He makes it clear that he did not want to cause pain, but rather to love them well. Let that sink in. When it comes to correction is must be both an action and object of love. When we offer correction outside of love we often fall into harsh, punitive, legalistic, and self-righteous ways. Loving correction is sanctifying. Unloving correction is soul killing.

Paul continues on to encourage the church toward loving correction.

2 Corinthians 2:5-8

2 Corinthians 2:5–8 CSB

If anyone has caused pain, he has caused pain not so much to me but to some degree—not to exaggerate—to all of you. This punishment by the majority is sufficient for that person. As a result, you should instead forgive and comfort him. Otherwise, he may be overwhelmed by excessive grief. Therefore I urge you to reaffirm your love to him.

Love corrects in so far as to lead to the desired result. That result is restoration. There are times that correction can feed a spirit of contempt and bitterness toward the offender. Paul is cautioning the Corinthians to avoid going too far. In fact quite extraordinary by natural standards he is telling them to forgive and comfort the one who has been punished. The purpose is to avoid making the individual fall into a depressed state of hopelessness. This is genuine care and concern for the soul. In this way Paul is challenging the church to love well.

Paul also warns what will happen if this loving forgiveness is not given. 2 Corinthians 2:11 “so that we may not be taken advantage of by Satan. For we are not ignorant of his schemes.” You see when we fail to love a person toward reconciliation we can fall into the evil schemes of Satan. In this way the devil has a double victory. The unforgiven person is isolated and hopeless. The church is prideful and self-righteous in their “fight against sinfulness.” Both parties are worse off as a result. We do well to heed this warning.

So what can we take away?

Correction avoided is not really Love

Correction must be rooted in Love

Correction is painful but not harmful

Correction avoids “piling on” guilt and shame

Loving correction comes from anguish not anger

Correction leads to restoration and forgiveness

Correction without forgiveness falls into Satan’s schemes

Love because it matters!

May God Richly Bless You,

~BJ Olson