How To Care For Others (part 1) - 10:23-27
Introduction
In preparing for this massage, I asked my children a question.
How do we take care of other people?
Here are their responses.
Help them. Make food. Bring it to their house.
When we are told to care for someone we often think of actions we can take.
What we need to consider is the attitudes that drive the action.
When I hear of someone who just had surgery or a baby I may feel a desire to help them with food.
That desire is driven by a heart of love and compassion.
That love is a fruit of the Spirit.
It is the attitude, the love, that drives the action.
Here in this passage, Paul primarily addresses our attitude.
Scripture has some clear lessons about attitude.
Proverbs 23:7
Proverbs 23:7 NKJV
7 For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.
Whats going on in our hearts controls our life!
As we think in our heart, so we are.
Attitude determines action.
In Matthew 12:34 Jesus said this
Matthew 12:34
Matthew 12:34 NKJV
34 Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
What’s going on inside of us, our attitude, determines our words and actions.
In our passage Paul teaches about 3 main attitudes we need to have in order to care for others.
Principle:
Caring for others is a gospel priority.
Guidance:
To properly care for others our attitude must be right.
Outcome:
When we care for others the gospel is advanced and Christ is glorified.
Three main attitudes we need to have in order to care for others.
We are going to look at 1 1/2 of them today.
Attitude #1…
1. Seek Their Good vv. 23-24
This is the attitude that must underlie all care for others.
We want their benefit, their good, not our own.
The prophet Jonah dealt with an inner conflict on this issue.
God called him to share the message of repentance with the people of Nineveh.
The problem was, Jonah didn’t care about the people of Nineveh.
In fact.
Jonah wanted them to suffer for what they had done to the people of Israel.
His lack of care for others led him to run from God! It led him to the belly of a whale!
We cannot care for others if deep down in our hearts, we don’t want to.
Our primary motivation needs to be the good of others.
That motivation comes with 2 demands.
2 Demands we must meet if we are going to seek the good of others.
Demand #1…
a. This demands discernment v. 23
1 Corinthians 10:23 NKJV
23 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify.
If I am going to seek the good of others I must be able to discern what is good.
All things are lawful.
This is not blanket permission to engage in sin.
Here is the idea.
If something is not specifically prohibited in Scripture, it is lawful.
However, that is not the metric by which we measure our activities.
Here’s what I mean.
Just because something is allowed doesn’t mean it is good.
Repeat: read with me
Paul says that not all things are helpful.
Helpful – συμφέρω (sympherō) be profitable. to be advantageous v. — to be or become appropriate for achieving a particular end. Finite verb, present, active, indicative, third person, singular.
In a nutshell: “Helpful” means advantageous in the accomplishing of a goal.
Helpful – συμφέρω (sympherō)
All things are lawful, not all things are helpful.
Therefore, the question is not, “can I.” The question is, “should I.”
This is where our gifts and calling come into play.
God has gifted and called each of us.
That gift and call come with certain responsibilities.
I need to only allow into my life the things that enable me to do what God has called me to do!
Anything that doesn’t line up with that is not helpful.
Let’s say God has called you to be a child’s Sunday school teacher.
Taking rocket science classes probably will not help you achieve that goal!
It’s not that rocket science classes are bad. It’s that they are not helpful to your God-given purpose.
All things are lawful, not all things are helpful.
This is focused on me and the achievement of my God-given goals and purpose.
We need to know our gifts and calling.
Then we need discernment to know when something lines up with our gifts and calling, and when it does not.
Just because it is lawful doesn’t mean it is helpful.
Paul keeps going.
All things are lawful.
Not all things edify.
Paul changes the focus here from self to others.
We cannot only be focused on ourselves, we must also focus on others.
We are to help build one another up.
Edify – οἰκοδομέω (oikodomeō) build; strengthen; build up. to build up ⇔ construct v. — to make nearer to fullness or completion (as of moral strength or someone’s conscience); conceived of as constructing something further. Finite verb, present active, indicative, third person, singular.
Edify – οἰκοδομέω (oikodomeō)
Scripture pictures us like houses built on the foundation of Jesus Christ.
Use the magnet tiles to build a house.
We either build others up or we tear them down.
Both actions require work.
This is the issue.
While I have the freedom to do anything, I want to do what will build up and encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ.
If we are going to care for others and seek their good we must have discernment.
We have to be able to know what is helpful and what is edifying.
This necessitates self-awareness as well as community awareness.
I need to know what God has called me to do.
I need to know how to build others up.
Discernment is produced when the child of God studies the Word of God while submitting to the Spirit of God.
Repeat - read aloud.
Here is the progression.
We are to care for others.
Caring for others means we seek their good.
In order to seek their good, we must have discernment.
Discernment comes when we read the Word of God and submit to the Holy Spirit.
It always comes back to the Word of God.
We have a Bible reading plan in the bulletin.
We have daily breads in the entryway.
You can listen to the entire Bible being read on Youtube.
There are dramatized Bible’s, and audio Bibles for almost every translation.
There is no excuse for not getting into the Word of God.
To care for others we seek their good.
This motivation comes with two demands.
2 Demands we must meet if we are going to seek the good of others.
Demand #1: This demands discernment.
Demand #2…
b. This demands determination v. 24
1 Corinthians 10:24 NKJV
24 Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.
This word “seek” is the idea of desire.
What do we desire?
Do we desire only things that benefit ourselves?
Is our highest aim and biggest goal our own self-promotion?
What Paul gives us here is an imperative command.
Do not seek your own.
The Christian life is not the place for self-promotion!
We need to desire the things that build up our brothers and sisters in Christ!
This requires determination.
I must be determined to seek the good of others.
This is a decision, a choice I must make.
This is one of those Biblical ideas that goes both ways.
Here’s what I mean.
Let’s use Paul’s own example of meat offered to idols.
GO SLOW!
Paul has already made it very clear that the issue with things offered to idols is that it was intended for use in worship of demons.
This can make it unfit for the child of God.
However, as already stated, this is a personal decision to make.
The guiding principle in the body of Christ needs to be love for one another.
This love needs to be exercised by everyone in the body of Christ.
If I eat something that causes my brother or sister to stumble, I am not walking in love.
However, if they are mature enough to know that they can do what they feel the freedom to do and so can I, yet they want me to limit my freedom anyway, they are not walking in love either.
Balance is needed.
I can’t wait for everyone else to put me first.
That’s not the point here.
When all of us are seeking the benefit of each other, everyone wins.
Romans 12:10
Romans 12:10 NKJV
10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another;
Paul is talking about the exercise of our freedom.
What limits my freedom is not Scripture, it is concern for others!
Do we care enough about our brothers and sisters in Christ to limit the exercise of our freedom?
Don’t seek your own! Seek the good of others.
Paul put this same concept in different words in Philippians 2:3-4.
Philippians 2:3-4
Philippians 2:3–4 NKJV
3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.
4 Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
It is impossible to care for others if we are putting ourselves first.
Repeat - read aloud 2x.
If we are going to care for others, we must seek their good.
This demands determination because our natural, sinful, instinct is to think only of ourselves.
The determination to care for others is fueled by an awareness of their need.
Repeat - read aloud.
If we don’t know the needs of our brothers and sisters in Christ, we are not going to be able to care for them.
Seek to know their needs.
Share your own needs.
We cannot meet needs we don’t know about!
Once we know about them, we must be determined to put their needs before our own desires.
We seek the good of others, we build them up.
Three main attitudes we need to have in order to care for others.
Attitude #1: Seek their good.
Attitude #2…
2. Guard Their Conscience vv. 25-30
This sounds a little strange in a society where individualism and personal autonomy are so highly prized.
We hear all the time that you need to watch out for #1. And #1 is always yourself.
If someone upsets us, we unfriend them.
If we have a disagreement, we stop talking.
What Paul describes for us is a very different picture of our responsibility as members of the body of Christ.
Twice in other books of the Bible Paul presents the idea that we are members of one another.
Romans 12:4-5
Romans 12:4–5 NKJV
4 For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function,
5 so we, being many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another.
Ephesians 4:25
Ephesians 4:25 NKJV
25 Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.
Our care for one another is based on the reality that we are members of the same body!
What hurts you, hurts me and vice versa.
One of the ways we protect and care for one another is to guard our consciences.
There are two ways to do that in this passage.
#1…
a. Ask necessary questions vv. 25-27
Having laid down some basic principles, the need to pursue things that are helpful and edify as well as seeking the benefit of others, Paul returns to his topic of eating meat offered to idols.
1 Corinthians 10:25–26 NKJV
25 Eat whatever is sold in the meat market, asking no questions for conscience’ sake;
26 for “the earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness.”
This presents us with an interesting principle.
There are some questions that we do not need to ask.
If something is a good deal, accept it.
If you are in the meat market, and the meat is on a good discount, buy it!
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
The earth is the Lord’s and all its fullness.
More information is not always better.
We are to receive food with thanksgiving and move one. Why?
Because God made all things and called them good!
The earth is the Lord’s and all its fullness!
Everything is His.
Eat the meat and don’t ask questions.
This principle is to be applied beyond the market.
1 Corinthians 10:27 NKJV
27 If any of those who do not believe invites you to dinner, and you desire to go, eat whatever is set before you, asking no question for conscience’ sake.
Here Paul paints for us a scenario.
An unbeliever invites you to dinner.
You want to go.
Do it!
But don’t ask about the food!
This highlights a problem that we get ourselves into when we are convinced of something.
Let me give you a scenario to help us in the 21st century understand Paul’s illustration.
Let’s say that there is a business called good stuff food company.
You read a study about good stuff that says their meat comes from animals that are abused.
You decide not to eat their meat.
That’s fine. It’s your decision.
Paul would have no problem with you doing that.
However, if you then feel it is your responsibility to tell everyone else about your personal decision, you are starting to get into a grey area.
If you then determine to ask anyone and everyone the source of your meat before you eat it, Paul says you are in the wrong.
Paul has a command for us here. His command is, “don’t ask.”
Why not?
For conscience sake.
The first conscience we need to preserve is our own.
However, there is another consideration as well.
We will get to that, next week.
I want to talk for a few minutes about our conscience.
That is what Paul is talking about here. Our conscience.
He has talked about the conscience of others in Ch. 8. He will do so again in just a few verses.
However, I thought it would be beneficial for us to understand more about our consciences.
The first thing we need to understand is this.
Our conscience is not the Holy Spirit.
Romans 9:1
Romans 9:1 NKJV
1 I tell the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Spirit,
Our conscience works with the Holy Spirit.
They can cooperate together.
Dictionary.com defines conscience as “the inner sense of what is right or wrong in one's conduct or motives, impelling one toward right action.”
Our conscience is an awareness of right and wrong informed by our upbringing and society around us.
However, because my upbringing can differ dramatically from that of someone raised in a tribal setting on the other side of the world, we must understand that conscience is not universal.
For this reason…
Conscience alone is not a reliable source for determining right and wrong.
Why not?
Several reasons. Let’s look at 2.
1 - It can be seared.
1 Timothy 4:2
1 Timothy 4:2 NKJV
2 speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron,
When we continually violate our conscience, it becomes hardened.
2- It can be defiled.
Titus 1:15
Titus 1:15 NKJV
15 To the pure all things are pure, but to those who are defiled and unbelieving nothing is pure; but even their mind and conscience are defiled.
A defiled conscience is one that has changed. It no longer has an accurate view of right and wrong.
Paul already discussed in Ch. 8 that our conscience can be either strong or weak.
To guard our conscience well, we must allow it to be informed by Scripture and we must subject it to the Holy Spirit.
In the verses we just looked at, Paul’s point is that we shouldn’t seek a crisis of conscience.
Don’t ask questions that will lead to unnecessary conflict!
Here is our lesson.
Don’t create drama where there is none.
Repeat - read aloud.
Twice in these verses Paul tells us not to ask questions about the source of the meat.
Why not?
Because it is not necessary.
We are to guard the conscience of others, and sometimes the best way to do that is through ignorance.
That sounds odd, but when it comes to conscience matters, that is what Paul is saying.
Only ask necessary questions.
There are two ways to guard a conscience in these verses.
#1: Ask necessary questions.
#2. We will learn next week.
Conclusion
How do we care for others?
First, We seek their good before our own.
This demands discernment and determination.
All things are lawful, not all are helpful.
All things are lawful, not all edify.
We seek the benefit of others!
Pursue activities that lead to growth.
Work to build up others in the body of Christ.
Put the needs of others before personal desires.
Second, We guard their conscience even when that means the limitation of personal freedom.
We must care about our brothers and sisters in Christ!
Don’t create drama.
Don’t ask questions when there is no need for them.
How do these ideas impact daily life?
Personal:
I cannot be discerning without Scripture. I must be disciplined in my personal life to ensure that my conscience is informed by Scripture and that I am living in submission to the Holy Spirit. I will never care for others if I am living for myself. - Commit to daily time with the Lord.
Relationships:
When I develop a relationship with someone am I focused on my desires or their needs? Do I have friendships for what I can get or what I can give? My mandate from God is to build others up! That must be a conscious and deliberate focus. - Seek opportunities to build up others. HINT - this starts at home.
Parenting:
We are to seek the good of our children. All things are lawful, not all things are helpful or edifying. Be discerning about what you allow into the life of your children. Guard their inputs. - Be intentional about what goes into the eyes and ears of children. HINT - being a part of Grace Church gives you access to Christian entertainment through Faithlife TV.
Marriage:
The person you should most seek to care for should be your spouse. Build them up. Actively seek to mention things they are doing well. Do everything you can to make their life better. Put their needs before your desires. Please understand. I am not telling you to enable bad behavior. What I am saying is to change your thinking from “what are they doing for me” to “how can I encourage them.” - Find at least one thing to praise your spouse for daily.
COMMITMENT:
___________________________________________________
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To care for others, care about them.
If you don’t care, ask God to change your heart.
To care for others, pursue what is helpful.
Don’t do things simply because they are allowed.
To care for others, build them up.
Avoid anything that tears a brother or sister down.
To care for others, have a good conscience.
Have a conscience informed by Scripture and submitted to the Holy Spirit.
Care for others as Christ cares for you.