Sermon Tone Analysis

· MARRIAGE EXPECTATION VIDEO

HOW MANY OF YOU WERE LIKE THOSE COUPLES?

-MARRIAGE IS GOING TO BE AWESOME, SEX WHENEVER, YOU ABSOLUTELY DID NOT NEED THE MARRIAGE COUNSELING THE PASTOR OFFERED?

NO WAY WE DIDN’T NEED THAT AT ALL........WE WERE IN LOVE!

I THINK PERSONALLY I THOUGHT MARRIAGE WAS GOING TO MAKE ME HAPPY.

AND NO DOUBT IT CAN AND SHOULD HOWEVER THAT IS NOT THE CHEIF GOAL GOD INTENDED FOR MARRIAGE.

GARY THOMAS COINED THE PHRASE “WHAT IF GOD DIDN’T INTENT FOR MARRIAGE TO MAKE US HAPPY BUT TO MAKE US HOLY”?

(BOOK SACRED MARRIAGE-GOOD READ)

NOTHING BRINGS OUT EVERY CHARACTER FLAW, AND INSECURITY IN ME QUITE LIKE MARRIAGE DOES........

THE HONEY MOON STAGE, FOR US IT DIDN’T LAST AS LONG AS WE THOUGHT.

WHY IS THAT?......... WE CAN BLAIM IT ON MANY THINGS BUT REAL LIFE HAPPENS.

BUT I THINK IT SO MUCH MORE THAN JUST LIFE HAPPENING, I BELIEVE IT COMES DOWN TO “ ARE WE ON A JOURNEY OR ARE WE SIMPLY TRYING TO FIGHT THOUGH LIFE TO GET TO AN IMAGINARY DESTINATION?”

LET BE HONEST IF WE ARE TRYING TO GET TO HAPPILY EVER AFTER AS A DESTINATION THAN THAT IS IMAGINARY..........

JOHN 16:33 ““I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace.

In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart!

I have overcome the world.””

LAST SESSION WE TALKED ABOUT THE NECESSITY OF FORGIVENESS-FORGETTING THE FORMER THINGS.

THE MAJORITY OF SESSION 2 WAS SELF-INFLICTED OR A WOUND FROM SOMEONE ELE.

THIS SESSION BRINGS US FACE TO FACE WITH THE FACT THAT “IN THIS WORLD WE WILL FACE TROUBLE”.

IN YOUR MARRIAGE YOU WILL HAVE TROUBLE AND MOST OF THAT TROUBLE IS SIMPLY OUT OF YOUR CONTROL.

WE ARE GETTING READY TO WATCH THE NEXT ROUND OF TESTIMONIES AND I WANT YOU TO REALLY LEAN IN, LISTEN TO WHAT THEY ARE SAYING.

MANY OF YOU WILL BE ABLE TO TOTALLY RELATE AND SOME OF YOU THEY WILL BE TELLING YOUR EXACT STORY.

I DON’T WANT YOU TO BE HEAVY BY WHAT YOUR GOING THROUGH OR HAVE WENT THOUGH.

PAY ATTENTION TO “BUT TAKE HEART, I HAVE OVERCAME THE WORLD”.

WHAT GOD DID FOR THEM HE WANTS AND WILL DO FOR YOU.

SESSION 3 MAIN TESTIMONY VIDEO

WHY HAPPILY EVER AFTER?:

WE TOUCHED ON IT EARLIER, BUT WE CHOSE HEA BECAUSE WHEN YOU SAID “I DO”, THATS ALL WE HAD IN MIND.

NOW IF YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR LONGER THAN 2 WEEKS YOU MAY THINK THAT HEA DOES NOT EXACTLY DESCRIBE MARRIAGE.

AND MOST IF NOT ALL OF US THINK OF IT AS A DESTINATION WHEN IN REALITY I BELIEE IT IS A JOURNEY.

EVEN IF YOU HAD THE BEST MARRIAGE COUNSELING IN THE WORLD, I DON’T THINK ANY OF US WAS FULLY PREPARED FOR WHAT MARRIAGE WOULD BRING.

NO ONE THAT HAS EVER SAID THE WORDS “I DO”, OR THOSE OF YOU PREPARING TO SAY THEM, PLANNED FOR MARRIAGE TO BE AWFUL, WHETHER WE USED THE PHRASE OR NOT WE EXPECTED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER SIGN IN OUR BED ROOM….

FOR US IT WAS A DESTINATION, BUT WE QUICKLY FOUND OUT THAT DESTINATION WAS ONE THAT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND.

SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY WE REALIZED IT WAS A JOURNEY, W/ UPS & DOWNS, BUMPS & BRUISES… A WORLD WITH MANY TROUBLES

WE STARTED OFF THIS WAY W/ HAPPILY EVER AFTER AS OUR DESTINATION THAT WE HAD ARRIVED AT UPON THE KISS THAT SEALED OUR VOWS

HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEARTS, MARRIED 2 YEARS AFTER HS, STARTED A BUSINESS & HAD OUR FIRST CHILD BEFORE 2 YEARS OF MARRIAGE.

LIFE BEGAN ROLLING REALLY QUICK…OUR DREAM/DESTINATION WAS HAPPILY EVER AFTER, BUT REALLY WE HAD NO PLAN AND THEREFORE WERE UNEQUIPPED FOR ANY ISSUES THAT WOULD ARISE

AMANDA- I HAD WANTED TO BE MARRIED FOR 2 YEARS BEFORE WE WERE AND IN MY MIND NOW THAT WE WERE GETTING MARRIED ALL OUR PROBLEMS WOULD VANISH….

MOVE UP???

ONCE HE WAS FINALLY READY & WE MARRIED, I THOUGHT, THIS IS IT….HE LOVES ME ENOUGH TO GET MARRIED, WE HAVE ARRIVED AT HAPPILY EVER AFTER

WE HAD A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING & FUN HONEYMOON TRIP TO NIAGRA FALLS.

I REMEMBER PLANNING ALL THE DETAILS OF THE WEDDING & HONEYMOON, BC I WANTED THEM TO BE PERFECT.

I CALLED TRIPLE A AND THEY MAILED US A MAP THAT GAVE US THE STEP-BY-STEP DIRECTIONS TO & FROM OUR HONEYMOON DESTINATION.

WITHOUT THIS MAP WE WOULD HAVE BEEN LOST, WE DIDN’T HAVE SMARTPHONES, WE HAD TO RELY ON THAT MAP.

NOT TOO FAR INTO OUR VOYAGE WE GOT OFF THE MAP W/O REALIZING IT & WHEN WE MADE THE DISCOVERY WE WERE OFF THE PATH, WE HAD TO FIND OUR WAY BACK TO THE BEST ROUTE.

IT COST US A COUPLE HOURS, BUT THANKFULLY WE HAD THE MAP THAT GOT US BACK ON TRACK.

· THIS MAP WAS OUR TRUE NORTH-AN ESTABLISHED POINT OF DIRECTION

WHAT IS A TRUE NORTH?

True North is your orienting point - your fixed point in a spinning world - that helps you stay on track.

It is derived from your most deeply held beliefs, values, and the principles you lead by.

It is your internal compass, unique to you, representing who you are at your deepest level.

BASICALLY YOUR TRUE NORTH IS THE ONE POINT IN YOUR LIFE THAT NEVER MOVES, ITS AN ESTABLISHED, STATIONARY POSITION THAT YOU CAN REFERENCE YOUR INTIRE LIFE ON TO KEEP YOU TRACKING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

AND FOR THE CHRISTIAN THAT IS GOD, HIS WORD, HIS PRINCIPLES AND HIS WAYS.

LIKE AMANDA SAID, AFTER WE GOT MARRIED WE TOOK OFF ON THIS JOURNEY CALLED MARRIAGE REALLY FAST.

WITHIN THE FIRST TWO YEARS OF MARRIAGE WE BOUGHT A HOUSE, STARTED A BUISNESS AND HAD OUR FIRST CHILD.

AND FOR THE MOST PART LIFE WAS GOOD AND MARRIAGE WAS GREAT.

AND TO BE HONEST THE BEGING OF OUR MARRIAGE REALLY STARTED OF RIGHT.

WE READ OUR BIBLES, WAS INVOLVED IN CHURCH, AND EVEN LEAD SMALL GROUPS.

WE BELEIVED GOD FOR THIS BUISNESS AND HE MADE THE WAY AND EVEN BLESSED OUR PATH.

BUT BECAUSE MARRIAGE WAS A DESTINATION TO US THAT WE WERE TRYING TO ARIVE AT, WE WERE TOTALLY UNPREPARED FOR WHAT LIFE WOULD THROW AT US.

LIFE HAS ITS WAY OF THROWING CURVE BALLS, AND I QUIT BASEBALL BECAUSE OF CURVE BALLS!

SO THIS BUISNESS REALLY TOOK OFF.

AND IN THE MIDDLE OF EVERYTHING SEEMINGLY GOING GREAT THE CURVE BALL CAME AND I REALLY WASNT READY.

SOMEWHERE AROUND YEAR 5 OR 6 I BEGAN TO FALL INTO A DEEP DEPRESSION.

FEAR, ANXIETY AND WORRY PLAGED ME AND GRIPPED MY LIFE.

IT WAS IRRATIONAL, DIBILITATING FEAR AND WORRY, BUT IT WAS VERY REAL TO ME.

YOU SEE I BEGAN TO FOCUS ON THIS BUISNESS SO MUCH SO THAT IT CONSUMED MY LIFE.

I PUT GOD, MY FAMILY AND PRETTY MUCH EVERY THING ELSE IMPORTANT TO ME ON A SHELF.

I FELT LIKE MY LIFE WAS SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL.

I HAD A SERIES OF 3-4 PANIC ATTACKS AND THIS WAS TAKING A TOAL ON OUR MARRIAGE AND FAMILY.

THIS LEFT ME CARRING FOR THE KIDS, CARING FOR COLT AND ALSO TRYING TO DECIDE WETHER TO HIDE WHAT WAS GOING ON OR TAKE HIM TO A STRESS CENTER.

AT MY LOWEST POINT I CAME TO THE PLACE WHERE I COULDNT SEE A WAY OUT AND I FELT THE ONLY WAY TO END WHAT I WAS FEELIG WAS TO END MY LIFE.

I NEVER DONE ANYTING TO ACT ON THAT FEELING BUT THOSE THOUGHTS CONSTANTLY WERE IN MY MIND.

THIS WAS ONE OF A FEW TURNING POINTS IN MY LIFE THAT BEGAN A JOURNEY BACK TO GOD.

§ I DON’T WANT TO PAINT THE PICTURE THAT NOW I HAD A TURNING POINT, OUR LIFE AUTOMATICALLY FELT HAPPILY EVER AFTER, BUT WE DID BEGIN TO RE-ENGAGE IN THE JOURNEY OF HAPPILY EVER AFTER TOGEHER

WE FOUND OURSELVES WAY OFF THE PATH THAT GOD HAD INTENDED FOR OUR MARRIAGE AND LIFE.

IT WAS VERY DIFICULT, I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS AND ALL THE TROUBLES DEFFINETLY CAUSED ME TO DOUBT WETHER I MARRIED THE RIGHT PERSON OR NOT.

‘YOU MAY BE OFF TRACK RIGT NOW BY NO CHOICE OF YOUR OWN.

YOUR CURRENT CIRCUMSTANC IS NOT SOMETHING YOU CHOSE-IT JUST HAPPENED.

MORE THAN LIKELY EVERYONE IN THIS BUILDING HAS LOST THIER WAY, BEEN OFF THE COURSE OR MAY EVEN BE LOST RIGHT NOW.

I PUT THE ONE THING ON A SHELF THAT IS THE ONLY THING/PERSON THAT CAN GUIDE OUR LIVES.

I HAD A DESTINATION MINDSET WHEN I NEEDED TO REALIZE I WAS ON A JOURNEY.

HAPPILY EVER AFTER DOES NOT MEAN PROBLEM-FREE, BUT IT DOES MEAN THAT WE ARE WALKING OUT LIFE, SOMETIMES REALLY DIFFICULT LIFE, WITH OUR FAVORITE PERSON BY OUR SIDE.

DURING THESE STRESSFUL YEARS, WE WERE GOING TO CHURCH, LEADING SMALL GROUPS, TITHING, READING OUR BIBLE, DOING ALL THE RIGHT THINGS BUT HONESTLY WE HAD STOPPED SEEKING GOD FOR A RELATIONSHIP AND WAS DOING IT OUT OF OBLIGATION.

GOD WAS NO LONGER OUR TRUE NORTH, OUR EST.

POINT OF DIRECTION

TELL TRUE NORTH STORY

AS CRAZY AS THIS SOUNDS, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS DOING.

MY NORTH GOT SHIFTED TO THE BUSINESS GOD HAD BLESSED US WITH AND I SAW IT AS MY VEHICLE TO HAPPINESS AND IF I LOST THAT, OUR HAPPILY EVER AFTER WAS LOST AS WELL.

WHICH IS NOT A DESTINATION BUT IS SOMETHING THAT IS CAREFULLY CONSTRUCTED DAY BY DAY WITH THE ONE WE LOVE, WHILE PUTTING CHRIST IN THE CENTER IN ALL WE DO.

HEAVEN IS A DESTINATION/MARRIAGE IS A JOURNEY, HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS A JOURNEY CALLED MARRIAGE.

YES THIS DETOUR OF STRESS, ANXIETY, WORRY, AND NOT KNOWING HOW TO HANDLE IT, TOOK US OFF TRACK & COST US TIME, FOR YEARS WE DIDN’T LIVE THE LIFE OR FULLY ENJOY THE MARRIAGE GOD HAD DESTINED US TO.

THE PIVOTAL TURNING POINT WAS A SUNDAY IN OCTOBER WHEN I ATTENDED MENS ENCOUNTER.

GOD CLEARLY AS I HAVE EVER HEARD, TOLD ME THAT I HAVE JUST ENOUGHT OF CHRIST IN MY LIFE TO MAKE ME FEEL GOOD AND LOOK GOOD.

BUT IN REALITY HE IS NO WHERE NEAR THE CENTER.

THAT WAS THE MOMENT THAT I BEGAN TO RE-ENGAGE IN THE JOURNEY.

THERE IS SOME OF YOU MEN IN HERE THAT NEED TO RE ENGAGE IN THE JOURNEY.

YOU HAVE LOST YOUR PASSION, YOU GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS.