Sexual Wisdom, October 10, 2021

Introduction

A Tale of 3 Women

Today we're going to cover a lot of scripture. And at the beginning I want to explain that basically this is going to be a tale of three women. One woman well save you and help you to be successful beyond your greatest expectations. One woman will do everything she can to trick and destroy you. One woman will be an extraordinary help to keep you safe and blessed.

Sexual Immorality

The book of proverbs does not give any greater emphasis to any topic other than this one. Repeatedly the proverb writers challenge us to take seriously our defenses against sexual immorality.

And yet what is frighteningly ironic is that Solomon himself was ruined by his attraction to foreign wives. Even the wisest man in the world who practically wrote a book on taking this topic seriously found himself ensnared.

Sexual immorality is on display everywhere. It is celebrated. Sexual promiscuity... sleeping around is normalized in TV shows and movies.

Ironically our culture has a bit of a bipolar perception on this topic. Our world is rightly passionate about defending victims of abuse in this area. we very publicly understand how serious and impactful choices can be in this area. And yet our world very much wants to make us believe that sex is just some activity you can do with anyone who consents just for fun.

So we very publicly understand that this area of life is both potentially devastatingly destructive and yet we want to pretend it is of no consequence and you can do whatever you like.

What everyone agrees on is that sexual immorality is still destroying lives. Leaders find their careers destroyed buy it. Families are torn apart by it. Men and women quietly have their hearts torn apart by online addictions.

I want to start off this sermon being negative. I want to warn each and everyone of us to take this topic seriously.

Earlier this week I was picking up trash off the floor in our dining room. Leaning over I swung my head back up to stand up and ran it straight into an open door of a cabinet. I physically cried from the pain for 50 minutes with an ice pack on my head and I still have a knot on my head. I know now to always check to make sure that door is closed when I stand up in the dining room. I still feel that pain. I still feel the bump. Feel the pain of consequences in this area. Take it to heart.

OK, let's get to work.

Proverbs 5:1–4 ESV

1 My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge. 3 For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, 4 but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.

Sexual education starts at home.

Innocence. It's OK for a very young children to be innocent about the way the world works for a period of time. But innocence is foolish if we allow it to persist for a long time. If we leave our children innocent and uninformed about the dangers of crossing the Wabash Rd they could get killed. If we leave our children innocent and uninformed about how to manage their money wisely they could ruin their lives with financially devastating choices. In the same way and the area of sexual wisdom we must ensure that our children understand what's out there. And perhaps even for those of us who are not children, we must remember again what's at stake.

We can't pull punches when we talk to our children about this idea of sex. This teacher, this father is talking to his son and warning him about the bitter results of not avoiding the forbidden woman.

Our children need to understand sex as God's gift to a married couple. Our children need to understand the dangers of an adulterous seductive person.

The reality is that naive children are children in danger.

The reality is that when we abdicate the responsibility for sexual education to our world and to entertainment and to schools we leave our children extraordinarily vulnerable. We leave ourselves extraordinarily vulnerable.

Proverbs 7:1–5 ESV

1 My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you; 2 keep my commandments and live; keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; 3 bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call insight your intimate friend, 5 to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.

If we train our children in God's word. God's word will help to protect them from the dangers of the world they live in.

One more point about the importance of teaching our children about the dangers of sexual sin.

When was it when King David fell into adultery?

It isn’t just children who need to be challenged and taught in this area.

Parents, you must continue to warn and challenge your children no matter how old they are!

A parenting/teaching moment Ashley uses with the girls is the carrot in the door. She opens a door and sticks a carrot in the spot between the door and the hinges. Then she has the girls watch as she closes the door breaking the carrot in half. She then explains how the carrot is like our fingers. The girls cringe and remember not to stick fingers in doors.

Doors are great and useful but used wrongly they will break your finger.

Such is the story of this section:

OK now we're going to pivot to the next section. And we're going to portray the power that an adulteress has to absolutely destroy you.

An adulteress will destroy you.

The Prey

Proverbs 7:6–9 ESV

6 For at the window of my house I have looked out through my lattice, 7 and I have seen among the simple, I have perceived among the youths, a young man lacking sense, 8 passing along the street near her corner, taking the road to her house 9 in the twilight, in the evening, at the time of night and darkness.

The picture painted in this passage is like many nature shows where you see a lion or some other predatory animal hunting to find Its next meal. And what it does is it slowly watches and waits while an innocent victim separates from the herd. And this victim is minding its own business quietly munching on food to be had. And in a moment everything goes from calmly and innocently going about its way to becoming devoured by an unseen animal.

The reality is an unsuspecting man walks foolishly close to destruction. He explores and comes close to an area where he knows temptation is. He is innocent and foolish.

Now we will see the tactics that this person employs.

The tactics of the huntress

Sensual siege

Proverbs 7:10–17 ESV

10 And behold, the woman meets him, dressed as a prostitute, wily of heart. 11 She is loud and wayward; her feet do not stay at home; 12 now in the street, now in the market, and at every corner she lies in wait. 13 She seizes him and kisses him, and with bold face she says to him, 14 “I had to offer sacrifices, and today I have paid my vows; 15 so now I have come out to meet you, to seek you eagerly, and I have found you. 16 I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen; 17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.

Look at this woman her clothing proclaims her intentions and calls out to him. She speaks seductive words. She goes physically near to him. She knows just how to speak to him to stroke his ego. She knows how to get his attention with just the right scents.

She employs every since in order to get the attention of this man. In the same way the devil uses every sense to tempt us. And the devil will work through others to bring us down.

One warning implicit in this section is that as people living in this world we need to be careful not to be this person. I'm speaking mainly of women people in this world :). Be intentional in the fashions you follow. Be intentional in how you dress.

Lure of pleasure

Proverbs 7:16 ESV

16 I have spread my couch with coverings, colored linens from Egyptian linen;

Proverbs 7:18 ESV

18 Come, let us take our fill of love till morning; let us delight ourselves with love.

With a promise of love and an unforgettable experience she lures the young man in.

you know, studies have repeatedly shown that we have a limited pool of willpower. That's why you're more likely to sneak extra chocolate late at night. we need to be wise in the situations we naturally put ourselves in when we are tired.

This woman assaults the young man with a massive wave of temptation. She knows he only has so much willpower.

Overwhelming your doubts and fears.

Proverbs 7:19–20 ESV

19 For my husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey; 20 he took a bag of money with him; at full moon he will come home.”

Now she moves into overwhelm any doubts. She reassures him that her husband is gone and will stay gone. She uses all the right language to overcome any doubts he may have.

You've heard the phrase what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Maybe you've told yourself oh I deserve to feel this way. I deserve this escape.

The Kill

Proverbs 7:21–23 ESV

21 With much seductive speech she persuades him; with her smooth talk she compels him. 22 All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as a stag is caught fast 23 till an arrow pierces its liver; as a bird rushes into a snare; he does not know that it will cost him his life.

finally at this point the young man is overwhelmed. His defenses are broken down and he falls into the trap.

He thinks he's going to a pasture but instead he is being led to the slaughter. And he doesn't realize it until an arrow pierces his heart. Look at that language in the Bible.

If this young man will pay attention to this pattern in their Bible. If he will study it. If we will study it. If we will study it we will see how this temptation works. And we will find ourselves equipped to recognize and avoid falling prey to this temptation.

OK so we've walked through how the adulteress will like a lion sneak up to destroy and unsuspecting foolishly innocent young man. We've talked about 1 of the three women that we need to talk about today. The other one has the power to bring life and hope.

I remember growing up watching my parents marriage. they have a happy, fun marriage. I wanted very much to find a spouse and relationship life they had. I imagine I felt like many young men and women do growing up in families where mom and dad have a good and happy marriage.

But the love that the proverb writer here challenges young men like me to pursue is not a wife but instead a relationship with lady wisdom.

Your first love, lady wisdom.

Proverbs 4:5–9 ESV

5 Get wisdom; get insight; do not forget, and do not turn away from the words of my mouth. 6 Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you. 7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight. 8 Prize her highly, and she will exalt you; she will honor you if you embrace her. 9 She will place on your head a graceful garland; she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.”

Proverbs 7:4–5 ESV

4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” and call insight your intimate friend, 5 to keep you from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words.

Wisdom is better than a wife. Wisdom is better than any other relationship. Think about it, if you have a wife but you don't have wisdom you won't be protected from sin. The truth is that no man or woman who falls into sexual sin can blame his wife or her husband. The only thing that can save you Is wisdom.

Lady wisdom will protect you.

Wisdom will protect you and strengthen your soul.

Lady wisdom will show you the truth about sexual immorality.

Wisdom will help us see the true nature of someone trying to seduce you like the woman in chapter seven. the adulteress offers counterfeit love. Offers so many temporary pleasures with long term damage.

Lady wisdom helps us see why sexual immorality is wrong.

If it feels good and it's done between consenting adults why don't you just do it? That's the question we have to answer in our world today. But if we call ourselves believers and followers of Jesus Christ we must take note that sexual immorality is first and foremost a sin against God.

--It’s a sin against God.

It's also a sin against the command that God gave us to love our neighbor as ourselves.

--It’s a sin against the great command to love your neighbor.

Lady wisdom will remind you of the deadly consequences of immorality.

Physical consequences

Proverbs 5:9 ESV

9 lest you give your honor to others and your years to the merciless,

Proverbs 6:34–35 ESV

34 For jealousy makes a man furious, and he will not spare when he takes revenge. 35 He will accept no compensation; he will refuse though you multiply gifts.

You will lose your strength. An offended spouse can take revenge on you. You could get a sexually transmitted disease.

Financial consequences

Proverbs 6:26 ESV

26 for the price of a prostitute is only a loaf of bread, but a married woman hunts down a precious life.

Proverbs 6:30–31 ESV

30 People do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his appetite when he is hungry, 31 but if he is caught, he will pay sevenfold; he will give all the goods of his house.

Proverbs 29:3 ESV

3 He who loves wisdom makes his father glad, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.

Immorality will cost you. Men and women have wasted 10s of thousands of dollars on secrets in. It's true that marriage is grand and it's also true that divorce is 50 grand.

Reputation consequences.

Proverbs 5:14 ESV

14 I am at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation.”

Family consequences.

Proverbs 5:16–17 ESV

16 Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.

Unavoidable and hideable consequences.

Proverbs 6:27–29 ESV

27 Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? 28 Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? 29 So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished.

Lady wisdom trains you to stay away from sexual temptation.

If we pursue wisdom we will be taught to guard our hearts. We will be taught to not desire what's not our own. Will be taught to take responsibility for what we let into our our eyes and ears. We will be taught to set high standards. If we pursue wisdom we will find ourselves protected.

The final woman to talk about today is our spouse.

Your wife can help you

The writer of the proverbs and frankly the rest of the Bible calls us to find satisfaction and delight in our spouse. And that were challenged to how our relationship with our spouse to be an outlet for our desire in this area. God gave oz sacks in marriage as a good and beautiful thing.

A man is called to drink from his own cistern... Focus on his wife.

Proverbs 5:15 ESV

15 Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.

Man that means all of your energy and thoughts in this area should be focused towards your wife. And we must not expand our energy in this area anywhere outside of our marriage.

What's more our relationship in our marriage must be a private thing as well. Not something we talk about with others.

The truth is that marital sex is exhilarating.

Proverbs 5:18–19 ESV

18 Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, 19 a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love.

When you truly, deeply, and exclusively invest in your spouse you can find rich joy and pleasure in this area.

A caveat….

A good marriage needs attention and caretaking. The kind of marriage portrayed here is a godly marriage where a husband and wife invest in and care for each other. If you don't invest holistically in your relationship with your spouse and build a strong and loving and caring marriage it will be reflected in this area of your marriage.

In your marriage. Invest in making something beautiful by how you care for your spouse.

But remember that no matter how beautiful your marriage is. No matter how much you invest in your spouse if you don't love wisdom and love God first you will not be protected and delivered from sexual temptation.

Summary—3 women

The adulteress can kill you.

Wisdom can save you.

Your wife can help you.

Conclusion

there's probably not one of us who is without sin on the topic of moral purity. We have all at one time or another have been unfaithful to God. And perhaps in talking about this topic you feel pangs of guilt or shame. The refreshing truth is that the blood of Jesus Christ has and continues to cleanse us from our sin. God offers grace to you. God's mercies are new every day. He rejoice is over and cares for us. Make him your first love. He loves you and wants the best for you.