Walk in Harmony in Your Marriage

Introduction

Story about when things in harmony work well but things that don’t walk in harmony always fail. .....

Olympic Ice Skaters move in Harmony

one of my life stories

This morning we continue our study on walking in Harmony with one another.

and we are going to look at Marriage

Our Text Eph. 5:22-33  

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” ESV

Paul is speaking in this passage to Christian wives and Christian Husbands.

IF we want to have harmony in our marriages then we need to do it God’s way!

In our passage today we will see a command to follow, the purpose of our obedience and the actions we must take in order to obey

The Big Idea: A Godly Marriage will Exemplify Christ’s relationship with His Church

When a Christian Woman and a Christian man get married their marriage isn’t just a physical relationship, or just an emotional relationship, and its definetly not just Co- inhabitation, Its a picture of Christ relationship with His church.

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Transition: Lets begin our study through this passage and see how a wife is a picture of Christ church in the marriage

Command: Wives Submit to your Husbands

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. “

What we need to first understand is that Paul is not implying in this text that All women are to submit to all men or that they are inferior in any way.

Paul Says wived submit to your own husband and then he goes on to explain why this matters.

Remember what Paul just said in the previous verse?

in Eph. 5:21 “and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

Paul commanded everyone in the church to submit to one another .

Submission to one another in the church means that you live your life humbly for the spiritual good of others around you .

and now Paul is tell the wives that even as submission to one another in the church has a purpose, so does your submission to your husband.

Again we first need to understand that Submission to another person can often been misunderstood.

It does not mean that as a wife you give up all your rights and become your husbands slave.

but on the same hand we can not ignore this teaching in God’s Word because it is not culturally popular to tell women that they need to submit to their husband.

So why is it so important to God that wives submit to their Husband?

Transition: I believe we see.....

PURPOSE: two purposes in our text this morning that we want to highlight on a wife’s submission in marriage

A wife’s submission is obedience to Christ as the head of the Church (vs22)

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord”

Did you catch that last phrase?

As to the Lord”

Wives when you submit to your husband you are obeying Christ.

You are living worthy of the calling by which you have been called.

Trans: verse 23 in our text tells us that not only is a wife’s submission to her husband obedience to Christ But....

A wife’s Submission is a picture of the Church with Christ (23-24)

23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. “

a godly marriage points people to Jesus

Think about how God called us to be His followers

Mark 8:34 “Then Jesus called the crowd, along with his disciples, and said to them, “If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.” NET

As redeemed followers of Jesus- We are all called to surrender ourselves completely to Jesus, We are called to identify in His suffering, and we are called obey him completely.

In essence all believers are called to submit their will to the will of Christ in their lives.

Wives when you choose to submit to your husband in marriage you exemplify your submission to Christ as the Lord of your life.

Submission in marriage should not be looked at as aburden but as an opportunity to teach your children and others around about Christ and His church.

ACTION: What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband?

I believe we see this in the last verse of our text.

Eph.5:33 “Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

To Submit to your husband means that you honor him with your respect

How does a wife respect her husband.

You encourage him to be in God’s Word and to seek God’s guidance

You turn to him first when you have problems in your life

You Let him lead in family decisions- Let him have the final say.

You always have his back- don’t talk bad about him with your kids or other people

You don’t demean him, but instead build him up.

You support his decisions even when they may not be exactly what you wanted.

You work hard at raising your family

Wives : when you submit to your husbands you are not just obeying God , You are exemplifying Christ’s relationship with his church to your children and others around you,.

Paul gives us 4 verses to describe the woman’s role in a godly marriage and it takes him 8 verses to tell us men how we are to treat our wives.

Apparently Paul knows that women don’t need as much instruction to get it right. and we men need to hear it multiple times before it sinks into our noggins.

Paul goes on in our text to instruct Husbands on how they are to also exemplify Christ and His church in their marriage relationship..

COMMAND: Husbands Love Your wives

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.”

God looks at the husband and says “you need to be someone worthy of your wife’s submission.

His command to the husband is to Love your wife

PURPOSE: two purposes in our text this morning that we want to highlight on a Husband’s Love in marriage

A Husband’s Love for his wife is obedience from the church to Christ(25)

“Husbands love your wife as much as jesus Loves His church.

I don’t believe there is any way to get around this in marriage-

If you are a believer in Christ you are called to love your wife.

Put simply - Men we can not be mature in Christ if we fail at loving our wives.

Why- Because mature Christians follow God’s commands.

A Husband’s Love for his wife is a picture of Christ with His church (25-27)

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body [ESV]

Ok Men - listen up Let me make this very clear to you what you are suppose to do

the command is simple - “Love your wife”

Mans question- well how much love should I give my wife?

The extent of the command is much deeper-- “as much as Christ loves the church.”

Man’s question- “How much did Christ love the Church.”

The example of the Command- “He gave Himself up for her.”

Man’s Question- Why would he want to give so much

The purpose of the command- “ that he might sanctify her,”

Sanctification means to be set apart as something special.

“ having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”

Jesus loved the church for the purpose of setting her apart for the glory of God.

The church is all beleiver sin Jesus.

If you are in Christ than you are the church. and this means that Jesus has set you apart for His own glory.

So if husbands are to love their wives like Jesus loves the church tan we need to ask ourselves ---- How much does Christ love His Church?

Understand this morning that Jesus’ greatest desire for you to live with him forever.

He wants you.

But we have a huge problem

Jesus in all of his perfection is a holy Righteous God, and only sinless righteous people can live with a sinless righteous God.

Even though God desires to be with us, we are not qualified because we have a debt of sin that bible tells us will take an eternity in hell to pay it in full.

Romans 6:23 “For the payoff of sin is death, [eternal seperation from God forever in the torments of Hell]

The Love of Christ is the greatest love story that there has ever been of all times.

its like a disney princess story but so much better.

almost all the princess stories begin with humble princess who has nothing to offer. the are poor needy and have absolutly nothing,

and then comes in the prince- a man who has everything, and yet the one person he chooses to love is the princess who has nothing.

Understand this morning that in the love story of Jesus and His church, He chooses to love us dispite the fact that we have nothing of ourselves that is worthy of His love

Isaiah describes what we bring to the table of the Christ love storyy

Isaiah 64:6 “We are all like one who is unclean, all our so-called righteous acts are like a menstrual rag in your sight. We all wither like a leaf; our sins carry us away like the wind.”

the only thing we have to offer God for his love is a broken sinner in desperate need of a savior.

as mankind there is nothing naturally good about us, We bring nothing good to the salvation table -just a natural sinner in need of a supernatural savior.

Phil 2 Describes this super natural savior.

Phil 2:6-7 “[Jesus] Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; 7 rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8 And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!

Christ was perfectly God- His nature was Holy-without a debt of sin that needed to be paid.

and being completely motivated by his love for us He gave up all of his glory in heaven, and he came to earth as humble baby, He lived a humble but perfect ,s o that He could humble Himself and pay our sin debt for us.

As Husbands we need to understand the love that Christ had for us on that Cross is the same type of love we are t show our wives.

he gave up his own pleasures, His own happiness, His own comforts, His own power, His own prestige so that He could humbly serve us as His enemies, and his whole purpose was for our spiritual good.

Husbands, when we love our wives unconditionally it exemplifies Jesus’s love for his church.

When we understand that purpose of the command to love our wives is for our obedience to God and to be an example of Christ to the world then our actions should also mimic Christ actions toward us,

ACTION: husbands if you want to exemplify Christ in your marriage than you must love you wife like Christ loves the church .

To love your wife like Jesus loves the church - You must sacrifice yourself for her

Christ loved us so much that he gave up His own glory in order to save us

To love your wife like Jesus loves the church - You must put her spiritual needs above your desires

Christ loved us so that He could impart spiritual good into our lives

To love your wife like Jesus loves the church - You must treat her the same as you treat your own body.

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As a church Submission to Christ makes sense because we are recipients of His great love for us. Being Submissive to Christ isn’t a burden Because we understand How much He loves us.

A Believers marriage is a picture of Christ and His church.

When a husband loves like Jesus then the wife can submit like the church.

Do you SEE the Comparison

Together husbands and wives have a command form the Lord

Together they are called to obedience

together they are a picture of Christ and the Church

Together they must work at fulfilling the roles God has given each of them.

Transition: Paul goes on in our text quoting Gen. 2:24

2 Become One

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

i think Paul gets a little excited here as he quotes this verse.

Hear what He says in verse 32  This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Do you see what Paul is saying in this text?

Since creation- There has been a mystery hidden within marriage.

God gave us marriage from its beginning as a portrait of what Christ’s relationship with the church would look like.

4000 years before the mystery of the church was revealed in the N.T.

Remember we saw that the mystery of the church is that both Jews(who were Gods chosen nation, and Gentiles , who were outside of the promises of God, Now come together as one Body in Christ- and this is the Church.

God takes A separate man and a separate woman and he joins them together in marriage and the 2 now become one flesh.

and inside the roles of Marriage from the very beginning -men and women have been a picture of Christ and His Church.

As a husband loves his wife unconditionally - he portrays Christ’s unconditional love for His church.

and as a wife submits willingly to her husbands leadership- she portrays the churches submission to Christ as the head of the church.

Your marriage is more than just a relationship with your spouse.- It is a gospel testimony to the world.

Paul wraps up our passage this morning by reiterating what a godly marriage should look like.

“verse 33- Husbands love your wife as yourself, Wives respect your husbands.

Bring it Home

Just like our Relationship with Jesus as the church. it requires us to let God be in total control of our lives.

In order for us to walk like Jesus we need the H.S. to be in total control of our lives.

The only way that we can walk in harmony in our marriages is when we live spirit filled lives.

and as we have been studying

without the Holy Spirit being in total control of our lives it is impossible for us to have marriages that exemplify Christ and His church.

Wives When you submit to the H.S. and yield your will to him, He gives you the ability to truly submit to your husbands leadership in the home.

Husbands we can only love our wives the way that Christ loves us when we put aside our own control and are being completely controlled by the H.S.

IF we are going to have happy marriages, jOyful marriages, Peaceful marriages, marriages that are a picture of Christ and the church, then we need to let the H.S. be in complete control of our lives.

Without the filling of the spirit it is impossible for us to live in a manner WORTHY OF THE CALLING BY WHICH WE HAVE BEEN CALLED.

The only way for our marriages to be happy- is when God is the center of our Marriage.

and the only way that God can be the center of our marriage is when each of us(husband and wife) fulfill the roles that God has commanded us to fulfill.

(Love and Respect)

and the only way that we can fulfill these roles is when we yield our own desires and let God be in total control of our lives.

Just like drunkenness takes over and controls ever part of a persons life, the way he talks, the way he acts and the way he thinks, ....

So we as followers of Jesus Christ need to ask daily for the filling of the H.S. in our lives.

If we are to talk like Jesus

If we are to act like Jesus

and if we are to think like Jesus

Then WE NEED TO BE FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT OF GOD IN OUR LIVES.

God has called each of to live in Harmony with our spouse.

What is it in your life that is keeping you from fulfilling your role in your marriage?

AS WE close I want you to know that I pray for each of your marriages weekly. I pray that each of you let God be in total control of your life.

If you are struggling in your marriage don’t let pride keep you from getting the help you need so that you can restore that beautiful picture of Christ and His church.

If any of you would like to come and talk with me - please just let me know. I would love to praying with you and work with you so that your marriage can be one filled with Harmony and a picture of Christ and the church.

PRAY