1. Most Cultures include gift giving as part of the love-marriage process.
a) Anthropologists are enamored by cultural patterns which tend to pervade cultures, and so am I.
b) Gifts are visual symbols of love. Visual symbols of love are more important to some people than others.
2. Gifts and money
a) If your spouse’s primary love language is “Receiving Gifts,” you may have to change your attitude about money.
b) If you are a spender, you will have little difficulty purchasing gifts for your spouse. But if you are a saver, you will experience emotional resistance to the idea of spending money as an expression of love.
3. The Gift of Self
a) Illustration: husband who played softball p. 78
b) Point: Physical presence in the time of crisis is the most powerful gift you can give if your spouse’s primary love language is receiving gifts.
c) Kids: Shelly’s experience with sporting events
d) Conclusion: Gifts need not be expensive, nor must they be given weekly. But for some individuals, their worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love.
B. Acts of Service
1. Example of Christ (when He washed the feet of the disciples) cf: Gal. 5:13
2. Illustration p.90 (I use Chapman’s illustrations because they’re better than my own. Besides, if I used my own illustrations, you would all think I was talking about you specifically).
3. Conclusion: Mark and Mary’s illustration leaves me with three concluding observations about acts of service.
a) Point: What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.
b) Love is a choice and cannot be coerced.
c) My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with the clearest clue to her primary love language.
C. Physical Touch
1. Opening comment: We have long known that physical touch is a way of communicating emotional love.
a) Research projects with babies which were held as opposed to those who were not given physical attention.
b) In the first century, many people realizing that Jesus was someone special, brought their children to him, “to have him touch them.”
2. Illustration (p. 104 – the wife cooks elaborate meals but he is a meat and potatos man) Point: Physical touch can make or break a relationship. It can communicate hate or love.
