CCBC 13Aug08 choosing wisdom in relationships
Cooper’s Cove Baptist Church
August 13, 2008
“Wisdom in Relationships”
James 3:13-18
We have been talking about life’s critical decisions the past two weeks.
We first talked about “Choosing Godly Values”.
Last week we talked about “Choosing to Stand Firm”.
We have had illustrations using a football team and the strategies they use in the game.
The first night we said the offense had to be able to read the defense and make split second decisions to counter their plans of defense.
Last week we said the players wore protective uniforms.
We talked about how much alike they were to the Roman soldiers and their coat of armor.
We talked individually about each piece of armor the soldier wore and its value and benefit to the one wearing it.
“Decisions” – life is full of them – what logic do you use in making yours?
As we go thru this series of “Critical Decisions – Surviving in today’s world” we will see several different decisions we make each day.
Tonight we will look at the decision of choosing: “Wisdom in Relationships”.
We go back to the football analogy to think about our “game plan”.
What is your game plan for life?
Do you have one?
How is it working for you?
The football coaches develop plans for their team that accentuates its strengths while at the same time minimizing its weaknesses.
The main idea for a game plan is to develop plays that will give your team the best possible chance to be victorious.
Isn’t the Christian life a lot like that as well?
What is your game plan?
Bible study, prayer, worshipping, witnessing, etc.
James has described two game plans for choosing “Wisdom in Relationships”.
One focuses on earthly wisdom & the other on heavenly wisdom.
The ability for us to make wise decisions in life depends a lot on which strategy we decide to follow.
The author says, “Our ability to make wise decisions in relationships will depend on the one we choose to follow.”
Follow along as I read James 3:13-18.
You would probably agree a lot of our personal problems in life have come from personality conflicts and strained relationships.
When things are not right with the family, friends, and co-workers we associate with life gets tough!
I recall a situation when I had a tremendous grudge against a brother in the Lord. I found myself over time drifting away from the relationship, I would occasionally talk about the individual, and eventually I grew to dislike this man with a bitter passion. (Satan was very happy with me at this time in my life.)
As James says I was using “earthly wisdom”, which at times can be very unwise.
See I had made a choice to tear him down in an attempt to build myself up.
I was miserable!
I began to pray for satisfaction in the relationship because God had placed a burden on my life and I knew I had to try and mend what I had broken.
I went back to this brother 3 years after this whole thing began and met in his office and pleaded for his forgiveness. He didn’t have a clue what I was talking about! I was the ONLY one who had suffered the last 3 years! As I shared with him what was on my heart through uncontrollable tears of sadness he reached over, placed his hand on my shoulder and said it was ok. He forgave me. I had the most awesome sense of release as joy flooded my soul. See I had chosen to use heavenly wisdom and the Lord blessed it.
Some of life’s hardest choices are the relationships we make.
Did you ever feel you were stuck in a dead end job?
You were working with people you couldn’t get along with.
No one understood you, you just felt like an outcast.
I have, I worked for a commercial company and was out of town a lot.
The crew I worked on did not live the style of life I was accustomed to.
They drank, smoked, gambled, and were just all around immoral.
I had made a choice to be with the wrong people.
Do you remember Brer Rabbit and Wily the fox?
“Remember Wiley the fox made a doll out of tar and stuck it on the side of the road. When rabbit saw the tar baby, he thought it was a person and stopped to visit. It was a one sided conversation. The tar baby’s silence bothered the rabbit. He couldn’t stand to be next to someone and not communicate with them. So in frustration he hit the tar baby and stuck to it. He hit the tar baby again and, you guessed it, the other hand got stuck.”
Isn’t that how some of the relationships we get in are?
We get stuck in them and can’t communicate with them.
Being able to communicate with the people we are around is vitally important. --- (Work situation with Gary & Teresa – OPEN communication!)
Everyone we come in contact with we are sowing seeds that can be good or bad.
We are either sowing seeds that will grow a relationship or not.
Verse 13 says …
We are to live our lives in humility and produce good deeds.
There is wisdom in sowing positive seeds in the lives of others.
Verse 14 &15 says…
Harboring bitter, envy, selfishness, and the like will tear down a relationship.
This type of action and attitude is not from heaven but from the earthly wisdom we boast about. Verse 15 says it comes from Satan.
Verse 16 says all of this discourse causes disorder and evil practices.
Praise be to God we have an alternative choice.
Verse 17-18 says…
Heavenly wisdom is of the Lord and look at its attributes: purity, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
WOW! What a list of godly qualities.
Wouldn’t you much rather be in a relationship that boasted these qualities?
The first example of the earthly wisdom I see that style wisdom in the busted relationship I had for 3 years with a Christian brother.
The second example I see each time I walk through these doors at CCBC.
I see this church body living out verse 18, “Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”
I believe as we look toward the future of this church we need to seek heavenly wisdom over earthly wisdom.
We need to continue to sow those seeds of peace which lead to righteousness.
We need to open our arms to this community and pray earnestly that the Lord will use us to reach His people.
God will build His church and He will use His people to do it.