September 30, 2001                                                                                                                             Pentecost 17

I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.  The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.  But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.  Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. 1 Timothy 1:12-17

Chief of Sinners Though I Be

            Do you like eavesdropping?  That’s what we’re doing this morning.  We’re eavesdropping on a private conversation between two close friends, Paul and Timothy.  And what we hear may surprise us a little bit, because Paul sounds a lot like us.  What says this morning echoes a conversation I had this week with my confirmation class.  I know that I’ve mentioned those kids the last couple of weeks in sermons, and I hope that won’t cause them to clam up.  But we’ve been talking about our consciences.  And every one of those young people understands what Paul is talking about here.  They’ve called their consciences “a terrible feeling” that just won’t let them rest.  I’ve enjoyed their honesty and openness.  And I think in them, I have a window into all of our hearts.  Don’t we all struggle with that “terrible feeling” that won’t give us any peace?  Paul did.  But he knew what the answer was.  You could paraphrase what Paul says and apply to everyone one of us:

I. Chief of sinners though I be, God has a place for me to serve.

II. Chief of sinners though I be, God has a mercy that overcomes my guilt.

I.

            Paul thanked God for his ministry.  He had been a gifted young man on the fast track in his society.  But he gave it all up to become a missionary, and I’m sure that people who knew him when he was young felt like he had thrown it all away.  But Paul didn’t look at it that way.  He could confess, chief of sinners though I be, God has a place for me to serve. 

Do we share Paul’s attitude about serving our church?  How many of us have encouraged our children to become a pastor or a Lutheran school teacher?  Some of us have, but I’m sure many of us haven’t – I’m sure because my parents were never very excited about the idea.  Why not?  Because we know that the ministry is hard.  We know that it doesn’t pay very well.  But you know what?  Compared to Paul’s day, ministry today is a breeze.  Paul was repeatedly imprisoned and tortured because he preached the gospel.  People tried to kill him for it.  It reminds me of a scene from the Indiana Jones movie, The Last Crusade.  Sean Connery says, “They’re trying kill us!  It’s a new experience for me!”  And Harrison Ford answers, “It happens to me all the time!”  It happened to Paul all the time!  Still, he was grateful for the chance to serve.  Are we?  That’s not just a question for us pastors.  God calls all of us to seek out our role in our congregation.  But what is our attitude when the congregation asks for volunteers?  Do we hit the back door running, lest someone tap us on the shoulder and ask us to pass out invitations to church?  When a member of the nominating committee asks us to serve, do we say “no” without even considering giving a “yes” to God’s call?  Do we consider coming in on our day off a privilege and a blessing – even a gift from God?  Or is stripping the floors or attending a voters meeting or teaching our congregation’s children a burden we would just as soon avoid? 

            Paul rejoiced in the ministry.  And not because he was better than we are.  Paul was a sinner, just like us.  He said, “I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me faithful, appointing me to his service.”  Paul didn’t keep going after being whipped and stoned and left for dead because he was such a strong person.  He didn’t reach down deep into himself and find some hidden, inner strength.  Christ gave him strength.  Paul did the extraordinary things he did because he didn’t look at himself as being God’s gift to the church.  He knew that Christ was God’s gift to the church, and he trusted in the God who redeemed and saved him to make him a blessing to the people of God.  And God considered him to be faithful.  He considered him to a believer, who answered the call.  Paul understood that “success” is something only God can define.  God doesn’t give us numerical targets to hit.  He doesn’t give us a minimum number of converts that we have to bring in each year or a minimum amount of money that has to come in.  God tells us to be faithful – to preach the gospel, in season and out of season.  And leave the success, the impact that it has on the hearts of our members and our neighbors, in his hands. 

            Do we share that attitude?  Or are we guilty of relying on ourselves, on our gifts and talents, on our expertise?  Do we look at our pastors, and say, “This one’s a good pastor, because he’s easy to listen to, but this one is a poor pastor because he’s boring”?  Do we apply a business standard to our pastor’s compensation: “The church is growing, so let’s give him a raise?”  Do we look at ourselves and say, “I could never do as good a job as so and so, so I couldn’t serve in that way”?  That’s just as wrong – because God never asks you to be good at anything.  God never asks you to be more successful – or even as successful – as the person who had the job before you.  God asks you to be faithful.  To use the gifts that he has given you to the best of your ability to support the preaching of the gospel.  Any other attitude is sinful.

            Are we guilty of all these sinful attitudes?  Of course we are.  Maybe not all the time.  But I know we all are at least some of the time.  I know it because we are a congregation of 300 souls, but we rarely have even 50 people volunteer for anything.  I know it because we have to beg people to fill positions in our congregation.  I know it because sign up sheets go half or three quarters empty week after week.  Either we don’t consider service to be a joy or we don’t believe we could do as good a job as someone else, so we don’t sign up.   Now, maybe some of you are thinking, “I just don’t have time.”  Maybe we don’t all have time to be the president of the congregation, but can we really say that we don’t have time to usher one month out of the year?  We don’t have time to devote one Saturday to inviting people to come and hear the gospel?  If we considered serving the Lord a joy, we’d make the time, just like we do for deer hunting, or shopping, or watching TV.  If we trusted absolutely in God working in us, we’d have no fear of serving.  And the fact that we don’t want to serve shows how sinful our hearts really are.  Sin makes us afraid of other people’s opinions.  Sinful pride leans on our gifts.  Sin makes us think we have more important things to do.  What if God had taken that attitude with us?  We would all be on the road straight to hell, because he would have found no joy in saving us and no time to do it.

            But instead, God showed us mercy.  He sent Jesus to live and die and rise for us.  Jesus was an even greater servant than Paul, because Jesus was perfect.  He loved God so much that when his Father told him to leave heaven and come down to this tortured, sinful planet and live here in pain and sorrow, Jesus did it – and he rejoiced, even though it was shameful and painful beyond our ability to imagine it.  And Jesus had no sinful pride.  He trusted one hundred percent in God’s strength.  So Jesus, God and man, did perfect service with a perfect heart.  And God has given that service to us.  Today, all our service is perfect in God’s sight.  Every believing pastor, every believing councilman and Sunday school teacher and church cleaner is perfect in God’s eyes, because God sees Jesus working in you.  Indeed, Jesus does live in you and he is the one who serves, when you serve.  His work is perfect.

            God’s mercy in Jesus went beyond a perfect life given to us – it extended all the way to a perfect death, offered as the payment for our sins.  Our sinful attitudes deserve hell, and Jesus suffered it.  He paid for every ounce of pride in our hearts.  He paid for fear and for shirking our responsibilities.  He paid for a lack of joy that runs through our service.  He paid for all of the sinfulness of our hearts and his resurrection trumpets forgiveness.   We are totally, freely and forever forgiven.  And so we will live with him in perfect joy forever.  That’s why we thank God.  That’s why and how we serve him.  We serve with the strength only God can give.  We serve faithfully discharging the grace that God has poured out on us.  We serve with joy, we serve trusting in our Savior’s work in us, we serve without worrying about anyone’s opinion but God’s, because that’s the fruit of being forgiven.  That’s what God does in our hearts.  Trust his work!!

II.

            Paul was a man with a past.  It wasn’t the kind of past who could defend or excuse.  He had tried to destroy the Christian faith.  To do so, he had thrown men and women off into prison, and tried to force them to deny Jesus.  He had participated in “kangaroo courts” that condemned Christians to death.  How many families were split up because of him?  How many children lost parents because of him?  Now when Paul says, “I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief,” it might sound like he’s making an excuse.  But Paul calls himself the “chief of sinners” and the “worst of sinners.”  He isn’t excusing anything.  Instead, he’s talking about why he committed his sins: ignorance and unbelief controlled his heart.  But God overcame them.  Paul wrote this letter maybe thirty years after all that had happened.  But it’s clear that he never lost sight of the harm he had done.  He knew what he deserved.  That’s why he could confess: Chief of sinners though I be, God has a mercy that overcomes my guilt.

            Paul holds out his life as an example of God’s mercy.  He says, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”  God had a mercy that was greater than the sin of trying to destroy the gospel and wipe out the Christian Church.  Have you ever done anything so horrible?  It’s possible.  You may be guilty of abusing your spouse or your children, or of some secret crime of murder or rape or robbery.  That would surprise me, but if you are,  God’s mercy is greater than your guilt.  It wipes out your sin in the blood of Jesus, just like it wiped out Paul’s violence and murder.  Whatever sins you are guilty of, Paul points to himself and says that if Christ paid for his sins and God forgave him, then he certainly has paid for and forgiven yours. 

God didn’t forgive Paul because he changed his life – although Paul could never have continued his sinful life once he knew God’s forgiveness, and neither can we.  God didn’t forgive Paul because he served so long and so faithfully.  Paul served long and faithfully because God forgave him.  Paul’s life changed because God poured out his grace on him and gave him the gift of faith.  God’s mercy is still greater than all of our sins.  It’s greater than years of coming to church and walking away without really taking to heart God’s call to serve him joyfully and humbly.  And God has poured that grace out on us and given us faith, too.  We didn’t see a vision on the road to Damascus, but God did just as great a miracle in the waters of baptism.  God did just as a great a miracle when a friend told us about our Savior.  God changed sinful, rebelious hearts that only raged against him into humble, believing hearts. So we echo Paul’s “trustworthy saying”: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the worst.”

“I am the worst.” Do you ever feel like that?  Because we’re sinners, we Christians still struggle with guilt.  Sometimes the feeling lingers for years after we’ve committed the sin.  I still hear the echoes of things I said when I was younger and brasher.  I still remember people who I wanted to hear the gospel, but who were “turned off” by my attitude.  I  think about times when I should have been a better husband, a better pastor, a better son or father.  There are times when it breaks my heart to think of what I’ve said and done, sometimes years ago.  Do you ever feel that way?  Then I have good news: there is peace for our troubled consciences.  That peace is Jesus.  He took away every one of our sins.  He erased the horrible things we’ve said.  He paid for our unfaithfulness and for our failures in every role of our lives.  He paid for it all and it’s all forgiven.  That’s the only peace that we will ever have – and it’s the best peace there is.  We are forgiven, and God has poured his grace out into our hearts.  God has come to us in the gospel and told us all that Jesus has done.  God has revealed to you and to me that he has a mercy that is greater than our sins.  And hearing about that mercy quiets our hearts.  You have the privilege of coming here week after week to hear about that mercy.  You have the privilege of having brothers and sisters in Christ to remind you of that mercy.  You have the joy of opening your Bibles and seeing your Savior.  What a wonderful mercy God has for you!

            You can learn a lot by listening to young people when they choose to be honest.  You can hear your own heart in their struggles and confusion.  Those young people that God has given to us share our struggle with our consciences.  They feel like the chief of sinners, even if we don’t think they are.  God has given them and us an answer.  It isn’t, “Do better! Try harder!”  It isn’t, “You shouldn’t feel that way!”  It’s, “Jesus did it all for you.  You are forgiven.”  And because we are forgiven, we have a part in the work of sharing that message with untold millions of people who still don’t have that peace.  Thank God for that! Amen.