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Today is the final message from 1 Corinthians 7, in which Paul addresses Marriage Matters.
In this chapter, Paul was answering some specific questions from the believers in Corinth concerning marriage and marriage relations.
We have seen already that what is necessary for marriage relationships, and relationships in general, is that we live in consideration of the other person.
To love as God loves; as Jesus loved when he laid down his life for us.
God does not love those who make Him feel good.
He loves us even as we are sinners.
So too, we are called to love others, even when they are sinning, and living in consideration of them.
Marriage and other relationships are not to be based upon me getting, but me giving.
Last week we saw Paul’s answer to whether those who are unmarried should marry.
Paul’s answer was that though in certain times of trials it may be better to not be married, if there is the potential for falling into sin, it is better to marry.
The main point is that whether married or single, we need to live rightly in full-devotion to the Lord.
This week, we will be looking at what Paul has to say to those who are married about whether they should remain married.
Let’s first read through the passage.
Pray
There are aspects of this passage that are seem straight forward regarding marriage for believers.
I say for believers, because non-believers do not hold to God’s standards.
The standards of the world make marriage all about oneself getting their needs met.
And, when those needs are not met, divorce is the way out.
Believers, on the other hand, want to follow the Lord and hold to His standards.
And, right at the start, Paul lays out the Lord’s standard for Christian marriage.
The Lord’s Command
Notice that Paul is stating God’s command here.
Last week we saw Paul giving his Christian recomendation regarding believers getting married in trying times.
Now, he is making it clear that this is not his recommendation, rather, it is the Lord’s command concerning marriage.
Paul took his view from what Jesus had to say.
How did he do that?
Well, Paul was a young Pharisee who was excelling beyond his peers when Jesus was ministering.
He would have been among those Pharisees who were opposing Jesus, so he heard what Jesus had to say.
And, what did Jesus have to say?
Turn to Matthew 19:3-6.
What God has joined together, let no one separate
As a Pharisee, Paul was trained by Gamaliel, grandson of another rabbi, Hillel.
Pharisees where generally in one of two camps: followers of Hillel and followers of Shammai.
It is likely that Paul was a follower of Hillel.
This group would have been the ones questioning Jesus in Matthew 19, because they held that a man could divorce his wife for any reason.
What was Jesus’ reply, which I believe Paul heard?
“At the beginning.”
Jesus goes back to created order, and what God’s design for marriage is.
A man and woman leave their other relationships to become one flesh.
This is not just a physical union, but an emotional and spiritual union which God makes.
God is the One who joins them together.
Let not man undo what God does.
Let not man go against what God designs and says is right.
What was the Pharisees response?
Well, they did not like this.
It went against what they believed and taught.
It went against what Paul was trained to believe.
So, they argued with Jesus.
Notice that they looked at what Moses wrote in Deut 24:1-4 as a command of Moses to divorce women for whatever reason.
Look at that passage.
Notice all of the ‘if’ statements.
Do the ‘if’ statements give commands of what should be done, or do they set the scenario for the command which follows? ‘If’ statements sent the scenario for the direction to follow.
The command here is that a man who divorces his wife, and wants to remarry her after she has already been married to another and divorced again, must not remarry her.
This is a command not to remarry your re-divorced ex-wife.
Jesus knew that.
So here is his reply to the Pharisees.
Moses permitted because your hearts were hard
Jesus points out that Moses’ command was not to write a certificate of divorce, but rather just an acknowledgement of what was going on because of their hard hearts.
Hard heart is an idiom for someone who does not want to do what the Lord says is right, and goes and does what they want.
From the beginning, marriage has been a life-long covenant relationship.
“Forsaking all others, I will love and cherish you as long as we both shall live.”
That is the covenant.
It is about what I will do, irrespective of what you do.
Divorce was taking place because of sin.
Moses’ command was to stop adultery, of going from woman to woman and back again.
God’s design is for marriage to be a life-long covenant relationship.
He joined them together, let no one separate them.
However, because of sin, separations are happening.
So, Moses make a command to limit adultery.
I say limit adultery because this is also what Jesus had to say:
Leaving a marriage to be with another is adultery.
Moses’ command to not be going back again is just limiting the adultery.
This seems harsh, but it is God’s standard.
It is God’s view on things.
But, some will say.
What about the exception clause in Matthew’s gospel.
Doesn’t Jesus allow divorce when there has been adultery?
Let’s look back at the rest of Jesus’ statement to the Pharisees.
There are two parts to what Jesus says a man does here.
He does not simply say, “A man may get a divorce if there has been adultery.”
Again, he is using an ‘if’ statement to set up a scenario.
What is the full part of the scenario?
Divorce and remarriage, unless there is immorality is adultery
‘If a man divorces and remarries, unless there has been sexual immorality, commits adultery.’
Many people leave off the second part of the scenario Jesus laid out.
Jesus says that a man who divorces AND remarries, unless there has been sexual immorality is committing adultery.
Remember, Jesus has already said that to divorce and remarry is to commit adultery.
The only way remarriage is not adultery is if the other person has committed sexual immorality, or if the other person has died.
Divorce is against God’s design from the beginning.
However, because of the hardness of people’s hearts, it does happen.
Remarriage, unless there has been a breaking of the marriage bond through sexual immorality or the death of the spouse, is an act of adultery.
This is why the disciples say,
They got the gravity of God’s standard, and the reality of our sinful hearts.
This is also why Paul writes here in 1 Corinthians 7,
If divorce, remain or reconcile
Paul, too, knew that because of the hardness of people’s hearts, divorce happens.
He commands that it not take place between believers.
However, because of the hardness of peoples’ hearts, divorce does happen.
There are times that the hurt from sinful acts against a spouse leads to separation and divorce.
Sometimes it is the hurt from adultery.
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