Sermon Tone Analysis
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Intro
wrapping up our series, The Masks that We Wear
Now I don’t know about anyone else, but I got bullied a lot in school, primarily high school.
Now I’ve told a few of you that I was always the tallest kid in school, but I wasn’t mean by any stretch.
In fact, I was really timid, and a good day for me was one where I flew under the radar and no one noticed me.
Generally, if I got noticed, something bad happened.
The best day of high school was the day I knew I wasn’t going back.
I actually quit playing hockey because the bullying was so bad, I couldn’t take it anymore.
One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and still have to do on occasion, is forgive the guys that picked on me.
I find myself putting on the mask of the overachiever, just because I want to succeed and outdo the guys that I felt tried to hold me back.
Question 1: Have you ever had to deal with a bully?
How did it turn out?
Some people still have bullies they are dealing with.
It might not look the same as it did in school, but there are people in the workplace who are every bit a bully as those ones we dealt with as a kid.
Or maybe it was a bully that your kid had to deal with.
This morning we are going to look at the mask of the bully, but this may not actually go the way you are expecting.
It is easy to immediately disregard this message because, “I’m not a bully.”
But as with other masks, this one pops up in different ways.
We are going to look at a story about two individuals who are both wearing the mask of the bully, but they look very different and sometimes it is easy to miss one when it is beside the more obvious one.
First we have Herod
So here’s Herod.
This is actually Herod Antipas, son of Herod the Great, the one who tried to kill Jesus as a baby.
Herod Antipas ruled for 43 years, and generally was a good king.
Most of his reign was marked by peace, but he was also found to be quite indecisive.
We know that this marriage between him and Herodias was actually the beginning of the end for Herod Antipas.
It started with him convincing Herodias to leave her husband, his half-brother, and he would leave his wife and two would be wed.
You can see why John the Baptist would have a problem with this.
John spoke out against the marriage, and Herod, unable to get him to stop, used force to silence him and threw him in prison.
Textbook aggressive bully behavior.
I’ve never thrown anyone in prison, this is not for me, case closed.
But watch what happens next.
Herodias Takes a More Subtle Approach
Herodias no doubt shared Herod’s disdain for John and we know that she wanted him dead just as much as Herod did.
So what did she do?
She, along with her daughter, manipulated Herod to get what she wanted.
Herod had been drinking, he was astounded by the dance his step-daughter had performed for him, and he makes a rash vow before his party guests
This is no accident.
Herodias probably picked up on the fact the Herod would do something like this and manipulated the situation in such a way to get what she wanted
Herod used force to get what he wanted.
Herodias manipulated her husband while he was under the influence of alcohol to get what she wanted.
Question 2: Do you struggle with insecurity?
I had my fair share of bullies growing up, and they made life miserable.
I know I’ve told a few people that I was always the tallest kid in school, but in some ways I think that just made me a bigger target
When I got into ministry, my experience led me to have a soft spot for youth that were getting bullied.
I still have a soft spot for people who have been bullied because I know how the effects of bullying can stick around.
The Mask of the Bully
Those that wear the mask of the bully try to control others.
This is different from the mask of the overachiever.
The overachiever tries to maintain control over situations by using plans and is at the mercy of something going wrong.
The bully is trying to control people and they use control as a means of compensating for their own insecurities and self-doubt.
The bully so desperately wants to be respected that they will break the rules of appropriate conduct to get it.
In the interest of controlling others, the bully will use one of two techniques to maintain control.
Aggression
we saw this in Herod with his use of force to try and control John’s message.
This is the one that is most commonly associated with bullies.
The use of force and aggression to impose their will on someone else.
It fits, as history told us that Herod was known to be indecisive
Manipulation
this is often very subtle and we wouldn’t often associate this as a form of bullying.
But it is still a way of controlling another individual to think what you want them to think.
This could be a manipulation of emotions, thoughts, and even facts to convince someone to come to your side
Social Media
One of the most apparent platforms that we see the mask of the bully is social media.
How many times have you watched or read something and it was worded in a very aggressive way.
It actually scared you to think that you don’t agree with what they’re saying.
OR, how many times have you been reading something and it is worded in a way to stir your emotions.
As you listen, some of the things don’t sound true, but the emotion and sympathy you are feeling causes you to push aside the reason for what you are feeling.
Taking off the Mask
behind the mask of the bully is insecurity and self-doubt.
there is a lack of confidence hiding behind this mask, and we need to compensate for it with overconfidence around others.
Paul writes these things to young Timothy, and these are great reminders for us.
when you surrendered your life to Christ, and the Holy Spirit came upon you as the seal of your salvation.
This is the spirit that Paul is talking about.
The same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead now dwells within you.
That spirit is the same spirit that sustains all of creation.
so often our insecurities stem from a dislike we have for ourselves.
If I don’t like myself, how could anyone else like me?
do you love the person that is looking back at you in the mirror?
Because if you don’t, remember that Jesus loved that person looking back at you enough to die on a cross for that person.
God looks past everything that is wrong and sees the hope and future he has planned for that person.
God loves that person, your spouse loves that person, your family loves that person, which means they must be pretty lovable.
Question 3: What keeps you from loving yourself?
it has been said that if you were given the task of making a list.
On one side, write down 5 things you like about yourself, and on the other, write 10 things you don’t like about yourself.
Which list gets done quicker?
This week, if you struggle with insecurity and loving yourself, sit down everyday and write out 5 things you like about yourself.
If you need help, ask God to point out the things that he loves about you.
Or get your spouse.
Don’t let insecurity interfere with your relationships with others.
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