Fireproof your Marriage: Fresh Vision for our relationships
He First Loved Us: “More than an emotion.” A choice

The story of Roger Bannister is legendary in the annals of sports history. (Author’s suggestion: Google, “Roger Bannister picture” and capture the Sports Illustrated cover there for your PowerPoint show.) On May 6, 1954, Bannister broke the four-minute mile barrier. People said it was humanly impossible to run a mile under four minutes. They thought we were incapable of covering that amount of distance in that amount of time.

The record Roger broke had stood for 9 full years. The record was 4:01.4, set by a Swedish runner named “Gunder Haegg,” in 1945. They called him, “Gunder the wonder.” Until Bannister, no one approached Gunder’s time; no one threatened it. All but a few dreamers thought it couldn’t be done. But 46 days after Bannister broke the four-minute barrier, an Australian lowered the record still further. Once Bannister proved it could be done, many others did it. Today, hundreds of runners have eclipsed four minutes. John Walker did it 129 times. Steve Scott did it 136 times. Bannister ran a 3:59. The record today is 3:43.

Most of us grew up in homes where we talked about love. A few of us grew up in homes where we experienced true, deep, unconditional love. As we’ve grown up, what many of us are finding is that it’s really hard to love if we’ve never truly felt loved.

“You cannot give what you do not have.”

Because we can’t go where we can’t see. We’ve got to receive love before we can give it.

Good news – God offers you His love. Experience it. Then give it to others.

He first loved us (God’s love) 1 John 4:7-19

21 times he uses the word love

Known early as one of the ‘sons of thunder’ – now he is obsessed with love

What happened – he experienced it. He was the one ‘whom Jesus loved.” That made all the difference.

Look at this passage with a specific eye toward love in the marriage relationship – however it is intended to view love in a broader way – loving one another in Christ.

I. He first loved us: Love’s source is God

A. Love: Part of God’s character

(NKJV) 1 John 4 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

God is the essence of love. More than this, but all attributes are balanced with and consistent with love.

B. Love: Sourced in God

(NKJV) 1 John 4 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

C. Love: Part of character God’s children

(NKJV) 1 John 4 7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

1. My mother had a cheerful enthusiastic can do spirit – I am my mother’s son – My genetics are predisposed to her essence

2. Transform from a thistle to a wheat plant – will produce wheat kernels

D. Love: Lack of love lack of God

(NKJV) 1 John 4 7 Beloved, let us love one another … 8 He who does not love does not know God,

1. Lack of family characteristics – may not belong

2. Can’t really love unless God is in you – can’t give what you don’t have

II. He First Loved us: Real Love Made Visible

A. Love: On display in Christ

(NKJV) 1 John 4 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

B. Love: initiates action toward the loved

(NKJV) 1 John 4 9 … that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world,

C. Love seeks the benefit of the loved

(NKJV) 1 John 4 9 … that we might live through Him.

D. Love: acts with no guarantee of response

10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us

1. Lay down life for a friend / some die for friend – while we were yet sinners he died

2. Loved the world – died even for those who will never receive Him

E. Love willingly pays a great cost to forge a relationship

10 ,,, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

1. The means of appeasement / satisfaction – suffered the just punishment of sin – endured the wrath of God

III. He First Loved Us: Human love Response

A. An obligation because of God’s love

11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another .

1. A choice to make

B. A means to reveal God

12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us.

1. Can’t see God here

2. Can see the effects of God in their love

3. We are reveal God by our love

In marriage – the way our partner sees God is by our love

C. The result of supernatural empowerment

13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit.

1. Abiding with Him

2. Generated by the Spirit as we live in the Spirit’s power

Allowing God to dwell with us and work in our lives.

D. An outflow of experiencing God’s love

16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

1. Unconditional

2. Forgiveness

3. Persistent

IV. He First Loved us: Impacting a Relationship

A. Stability in relationship

(NKJV) 1 John 4 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

1. Not the varied swings of emotions – settled – complete - mature

2. God’s love example

3. Our Human love

4. Own needs put aside

5. Focused on the other

B. Confidence in acceptance

(NKJV) 1 John 4 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

1. Boldness

2. Even though undeserved – not earned – but given

3. Forgiveness

C. Removal of anxiety

1. Drives fear out the door

2. Love and fear are mutually exclusive

(NKJV) 1 John 4 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world.

18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.

1 John 4 7-19 Fireproof Your Marriage More Than An Emotion