Dominica XXII post Pentecosten - Spiritual Life (Sanctification of Social Relations)

PRESENTATION: Finishing the Series

As many of you may recall, a little over a year ago, I presented a sermon series on the Spiritual Life, and specifically highlighted the four principal exterior means for growing in holiness, spiritual direction, a plan of life, spritual reading, and the sanctification of social relations.

If you recall that sermon series, then you probably also recall that it was never brought to conclusion, with the final topic, the sanctification of social relations left uncovered. This was, of course, due to the increasing tensions with the management of our former parish.

Today I would like to finally bring the series to conclusion, so today we will examine the final topic, how we can sanctify the different categories of our relationships with others.

Today’s topic will lean more towards the practical side of things, as there are some principles to keep in mind, but quite a few different types of social relations that we all have, family, friendships, and work colleagues, all of which we need to look at individually, so without further ado, let’s examine some of the key notions involved in sanctifying our social relations.

EXPLANATION: Good, bad, and neutral relationships

Since the Fall of Adam and Eve, our fallen human nature attracts us more to creatures rather than to Our Creator, and if we are not careful, our social relations can quickly become an impediment to our spiritual growth. We must react against this tendency with a spirit of faith and sacrifice, turning our various relationships into mutually beneficial ways to reach God.

As I mentioned, each of us has different categories of relationships, there are those that are willed by God Himself, such as our family ties, or those imposed by our duties of state. These relations must be maintained and supernaturalized. Just because we desire perfection does not relieve us of our duties to others, particularly our family, rather we are obliged to fulfill them in an ever more perfect manner.

The best way to do this is to look at those with whom we come in contact as children of God and our brethren in Christ, respecting and loving them because they possess qualities which reflect God’s perfections and because they are destined to share in God’s life and glory. In this way we esteem and love God in them.

Then there are those relations which are dangerous or bad, which lead us to sin, or stir up worldly attachments in us because of the pleasure we find in their company. It is our duty to flee from such occasions as far as we can, and avoid them completely, if possible, or at least fortify our will against the disordered attachment to such persons.

Finally, there are relations which are neither good nor bad. These can include casual visits, conversations, and recreations. A soul striving for perfection will turn such relations to good with a spirit of moderation. We do this by seeking only those which are conducive to the glory of God, the welfare of souls, or the legitimate relaxation the mind and body require. We must also exercise prudence and reserve, not indulging in long idle conversations, wasting time and building up our pride, and avoiding any amusments which fatigue the body and depress the spirit, following St. Paul’ s dictum to do everyting in the name of Christ.

IMPLICATION: Sanctifying family life, friendships, and business relations

With these principles in mind, let’s turn to the more concrete side of things and look at how we can sanctify our family relations, our friendships, and our work relationships.

By raising marriage to the dignity of a Sacrament, Our Lord showed us that the union of husband and wife can and should be sanctified. Before marriage a truly Christian and supernatural love should exist between a couple and sustained by the Sacraments the couple must learn to reject carnal temptations. The Sacramental grace of marriage refines and purifies their love so that their union becomes a image of the union between Christ and His Church. How husband and wife are to relate to one another is described by St. Paul in his Epistle to the Ephesians, the Epistle for the Nuptial Mass.

When God blesses them with children, parents receive a sacred trust from God to love them not merely as their own offspring, but as children of God. They should surround them with devoted care and solicitude, giving them a Christian education, and forming them in the virtues of Christ. They should exercise the authority given to them by God with thoughtfulness and meekness.

Children on the other hand, must show respect, love, and obedience to their parents. We must see our parents as representatives of God and His authority. To them we owe our life, its preservation, and its guidance. Indeed, our respect for our parents should reach a type of veneration, revering them in their participation in the Fatherhood of God. As we grow, we are bound to give them all the temporal and spiritual assistance they need according to our resources. Our obedience to them should know no bounds other than those set by God Himself. In other words, we must obey our parents in all things unless it interferes with our duties to God or our state in life.

Turning to friendship, we can distinguish three types, true friendship, false friendship, and one which is a mixture of supernatural and sentimental. True friendship elevates both and is based upon charity, devotion, and Christian perfection. True friends love each other for God’s sake and with a view of aiding each other to attain spiritual perfection. True friendship is not exclusive or all-absorbing, and is marked by a calm affection, and prudent reserve.

False friendship, on the other hand, is founded on shallow qualities and is a sort of masked egoism since one loves the other because of the pleasure he finds in his company. St. Francis de Sales distinguishes three types of false friendships, carnal, sentimental, and foolish. Carnal friendships are, as the name suggests, focused on pleasure, sentimental on the outward qualities of a person, and foolish on simply wasting time in idle pursuits. The dangers of such friendships are obvious, they constitute an obstacle to spiritual progress, loss of time that could be better spent, and often lead to dissatisfaction and discouragement. They may also be a danger to purity.

The best remedy to false friendship is to identify it before it forms, but if we find ourselves in such a friendship then we must either bring it to an end, or if that is not possible, show courtesy and charity but avoid any special marks of affection.

For friendships that are a mixture of these, we must strive to purify them, and if we find ourselves drifting towards the purely sentimental then we must withdraw as much as possible until we are able to pursue a truly supernatural friendship.

Finally, we should view our professional relations as part of the vocation to which God has called us, and when fulfilled according to prudence, justice, and charity, they too can be an aid to our sanctification. First, we must accept the profession to which God’s providence has brought us as an expression of His will, and whether we are employers or employees, industrialists or merchants, farmers or financiers, our duty is to carry out our activities according to the Will of God, with justice, equity, and charity.

As we draw this Sermon Series to a long awaited close, it is my hope that these counsels will be of benefit to you in your own journey towards perfection. When Our Lord comes to us today on the altar, let us ask of Him the grace to lead truly holy lives, and to sanctify and perfect all of our relationships, so that every aspect of our lives becomes a means to grow closer to God.