Getting Life In Order
Getting Life In Order
Drama: "Tired When Needed" (WillowCreek)
Too tired to volunteer. Too tired to be at home. Too tired to be around people. Ever felt that way? Ever felt that way and yet didn’t turn off the cel phone, computer, Blackberry? Maybe too tired, maybe something important needs to be done? Given the pace many of us keep, given the sense of obligation many of us have to our children, our work, it’s no wonder.
I wonder what Bruce’s wife and kids think about his little escape. What is he teaching them about work, rest and leisure?
I had a meeting the other day, surprise! And at it one of the participants talked about how much our language impacts the people around us. He said that if we consistently answer the question, how are we doing? With: busy, we should think about what we are teaching our kids. Let alone the impression we’re giving our friends, co-workers and random strangers we meet.
And if that’s the best that believers in Jesus Christ can come up with – then what? What’s different or attractive that people should give up a sleep-in morning?
The point is that time management, life management is a hard thing for many of us to learn. With or without church volunteer involvement, many here are, well, tired. Too much going on and not enough time or energy to enjoy much of it.
Life management is the topic today and one particular focus is how we parents can help our children embrace some life practices that will prevent them from ending up like Bruce.
Life management training begins early. It’s a different world than when I grew up and when my kids grew up. It probably isn’t a better or worse world, but it certainly more structured. Here’s an excerpt from a blog written by a mom with a six year old.
Recently we had a snow day and my husband and son went outside to build a snowman. A neighborhood boy peeked out from his house and like radar my son turned and called “Hey Justin, do you want to play?” A few minutes later they were both happily kicking and licking snow. But just as soon the boy was back in his own house my son was asking me to play. Maybe the boy got bored, maybe his TV was too enticing or just maybe these kids aren’t used to playing on the streets. This boy has been in day care since he was born and now full-time after care. Although he and my son have been in the same kindergarten and first grade class and our houses face each other, they’ve never had more than two play dates a year. He’s just not around.
It seems what I’m up against is a rising tide of institutionalized kids. My son is now noticeably in the minority. Many of his friends will rarely experience days of quiet daydreaming, or kicking a stone on a cold winter street, or playing one-on-one without a caretaker setting the limits. This scares me.
The key issue in her blog is her discomfort with institutionalized kids. Kids whose lives are programmed, planned and purposeful from dawn till dusk. Busy. And the parent who is driving, cooking, coaching, spectating is busy too.
Is this sustainable? Does anyone here feel tired so often they hardly notice anymore?
Parents have an enormous gift and responsibility. Parenting is important, difficult and rewarding. And for better or worse, what we do helps to form our children’s world view. So it makes good sense to hear a biblical word asking questions like: what are we teaching our children about honouring appropriate commitments, work, leisure and personal time? Our children’s character is formed in all of life, not simply through formal religious education, KIDS, family devotions, Christian School.
That means we must think about an equally important issue: what are we training our children to expect and engage in as they grow older?
Let’s turn to the Proverbs once again and see if there is anything that can help us. As we’ve said before, the book was written as a guide for building character. As such, Proverbs is a book of observation. The proverbs tell us what will most often happen under given circumstances. So let’s read Proverbs 2.1-11. It sets a foundation for time and life management that has been observed to work.
As we read, you may have noticed that in verses 1-4 there are a number of if statements and in verses 5-11 the answering then sentences appear.
So, a quick review:
If accepting scripture is a priority;
If making connections between scripture and real life is a regular practice;
If calling activities and events into question, that is to simply ask, ‘why are we doing this’, if that is a regular discipline;
If seeking wisdom is the high priority.
Then Christian faith-living will make sense
Then confidence in participating in our activities will come more easily (discernment)
Then confidence in choosing activities will come more naturally (discernment)
Then ‘Godly’ character will form in you.
Simple, right? Simple ifs and thens. Just not so simple to work out is it?
But the passage is foundational and if we focus on the one central concept here, perhaps we can find our way. First, the key word in all of this from drama to text to explanation appears six times in proverbs 2.1-11. Verses 2, 3, 5, 6, 9, 11. And it is yada: to understand, distinguish, discern. It is what the Bible means by the term wisdom.
Learning to distinguish the life giving way among many good options. Choosing to distinguish the right levels of activity between home, leisure, work and church. Choosing to teach a distinguishing lifestyle by resisting the urge to give everything a try at peril of financial or emotional exhaustion. Carefully sorting through the enormous number of good activities in sports, arts and community service available and saying yes, no, or not now.
And second, so important is this passage, that Jesus pulls one line out of it as the summary. Verifying the central concept for all time. It’s verse 4. Jesus quotes it in Matthew 13.44, “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field.”
Moving forward from the Proverb Jesus clears up any confusion that may have remained. Biblical wisdom is the key to living well. And the pursuit of it should occupy our lives.
So, is that the ‘it’ we search for in this life?
We must choose.
We can rush about to fill our lives with activities, experiences and possessions. We can attend the opera or a Killers concert; we can swim in a meet or play hockey; we can lay on the beach in Jamaica or ride the elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower; we can read Pulitzer prize novels and eat at the best steak house in Vancouver; we can know all mysteries, have all knowledge, whatever, but if haven’t entered into those events and experiences to see them as the gift they are. If we don’t pause first and consider what the potential of these experiences and events are; if we refuse to seek the true treasure in each and every moment then we will miss it.
We will be busy, we will fill our days and lives with events and experiences; we will drive from activity to shopping mall to work to home and do so in seemingly endless cycles. We will watch recitals, tournaments and track meets. We will keep up with our culture and the expectations of others. We will do a lot, see a lot and pay for a lot. But we will not live.
Jesus reduces the essential issues of life management to asking each of us a question: what is your treasure? And then he invites each one of us to explore the world with him. Seek first the kingdom, come to me all who are tired, and all these things will be given as well. Jesus teaches that a well managed life begins and ends and has its middle in him and his way of life.
And implied all over this, through it and in it is a choice to believe that God will make good on his promises. The choice is to believe and teach our children that if the treasure is the point, if seeking wisdom, if learning to integrate scripture, faith and life are the priority, then all the other activities of our lives and theirs will have more meaning, satisfaction and fulfillment. If, then, an observation, a goal: Christ in you, the hope of glory.
It’s so simple really, and so hard. God knows it’s hard.
The choice is to live.
So choose.
To truly live begins with accepting our identity. And that’s already been given.
Isaiah 43.1
But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you,
he who formed you:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
The Christian way is not self-fulfillment, it is self-transcendence. Self-fulfillment is an impossible task. What in the universe other than God can fill itself? Fill itself with meaning, or purpose or value? It is no wonder that the search for self-fulfillment is endless: I can always be better, smarter, faster, more competent. Have to be . . . .
Self-transcendence is learning to live beyond the need to find our identity in experiences and achievements. Isn’t it so important for every person here to know that they count for more than what they can do? Isn’t it more important for our daughters and sons to know they matter beyond how fast they can through a baseball or how highly they score on a math exam?
Christ’s invitation is for each of us to discover what that verse really means.
Isaiah 43.1
But now, this is what the Lord says—
he who created you,
he who formed you:
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
When we shift from self-fulfillment to self-transcendence, the observations of Proverbs 2 ring ever more true. Seeking Christ the Treasure drives us to scripture and a language to engage our world. To look at all the activities we choose through that lens: what is God doing and how can I be involved. And this can be a minor hockey team or our work place. This can be our school or home.
So as we get on with our lives – ever searching for the fullness of the treasure we can learn life management by intentionally changing focus:
As Leonard Sweet says in his book, “I Love You” (p 85)
Our issue is not: what do I want but rather, what is wanted of me?
Our issue is not: How can you meet my needs, but rather how am I meeting the needs of the world?
Our issue is not: What are my needs but rather, what is God needing of me
Our issue is not: How can I chart my own path but rather, how can I find and follow God’s path?
Our issue is not: Take charge of your life but let God take charge of your life
Our issue is not: See how special I am, but How great thou art.
Ultimately, to truly live means to intentionally set limits and to teach our children to do the same. We have only limited energy and time. To constantly say, “I can handle it,” or to Christianize that by saying “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” is terrible theology and the almost certain road to striving, dissatisfaction and obligation. A motel room all alone.
Christ is calling: come to me, bring your kids, your friends and together, with me enter life.
Choose.
