Handling Conflict in the Church- Acts 11:1-18

Handling Conflict in the Church- Acts 11:1-18

At a small church in rural South Carolina, there were two women who had been friends for years. Both of their families were lifelong members of the church. They both served in various capacities, often times together. They were true friends, the kind that could call in the middle of the night without fear of bothering them.

After what seemed like an insignificant church vote, however, the friendship started to fracture. The one lady desired to have the walls painted a pale green. The other lady wanted the approved peach color pain. What began as a difference in preference turned into a bitter rivalry. The women began gossiping about one another. Their relationship with one another slowly drifted toward hatred. The two women died without being reconciled, and the members of the church and community were shocked that they had stopped being friends.

Unfortunately, this hypothetical situation is more common than not. The issues may not be as simple as a difference in paint color (though they certainly are, at times). Most of the time the issues are larger and more significant. For example, the issue of bringing a pastor on or removing a pastor from his position can create enormous conflict. The switching of hymnals, the support of a particular missions program, etc, all present cases where conflict arises. Then there is conflict in between individuals. There may be a word that was misspoken, that hurts their feelings, and that causes them to have issues in their relationships.

We could spend our time tonight discussing these potential areas of conflict. They have been, are, and will be many areas for conflict. It is the nature of sinful humanity. What are we to do? How do we handle conflict? As Christians, do we have a different way to handle conflict than unbelievers?

Yes! We do, we have God’s Word (2 Pet. 1:3-4) that provides us with all things necessary for life and godliness, including handling conflict in general but in the church specifically.

When believers are engaged in conflict, they must deal with one another directly, graciously, and under the authority of the Word of God.

This summary will function as our outline of this passage, as well as a standard to navigate conflict in a way that glorifies God and builds His Church.

I. Believers will experience Conflict- 11:1-2 (James 4:1)

The very first point is common to us all—conflict will come. Now, we are dealing with believers in particularly. Though the resolutions are still the same, the difference is the Holy Spirit’s empowerment, they will never enjoy true restoration. With that understanding, notice that conflict arises. There were Jewish people, whom Luke describes as “circumcised believers” or “circumcision party” who did not understand how Peter, a Jewish man, would eat with Gentiles. They accused Peter, and this raised conflict.

This conflict was a theological conflict. The Jewish people were to maintain a separateness from the Gentiles in every area (clothes, lifestyle, and diet). In their minds, Peter was sinning. As we saw in Acts 1:6, the believers of Israel were having a difficult time separating God’s Kingdom from Israel’s kingdom. Thus, this included the separation from Gentiles. It was not even an option.

The conflicts, as we mentioned, may be theological in nature. There are a variety of issues that divide us. There is also conflict that arises from sin (the reason I cite James 4:1). It is inevitable. So what do we do? We first deal with one another directly.

II. Believers must deal with one another directly- 11:3-4 (Matt. 5:23-24)

The apostles and believers heard this, as well as the circumcised brothers, and they come directly to Peter. Now, they were accusatory, which we will address in the next point. But for now, notice that they did not go around spreading lies or rumors. They went to Peter.

If we find ourselves in conflict with another believer, we must go to them. It is sin not to. I realize that is a strong word, but it stands nonetheless. If you are in conflict with another believer and fail to go to them, you are sinning. Jesus tells us it is more important to reconcile with our brother before offering something to God.

If you tell other people about the issue beforehand, you are engaging in the works of the flesh and not bearing the fruit of the Spirit (cf. Gal. 5:20, 22). Church splits can occur because of this. Long-held friendships can be severed because of this. Marital relationships can end because of this. So we address the believer directly, but then what? We must be gracious.

III. Believers must be gracious- 11:3 (Col. 4:6)

The circumcised believers accused Peter. They did not ask questions, or seek to understand the situation, they rendered a judgment and began to accuse the apostle.

We will not dwell on this point long, for it is easy to see how this can either strengthen or weaken a conflict between believers. Proverbs 15:1 capture this well! We could easily provide example after example, but we all know the difference between a harsh and soft respond and the results of each.

As recipients of the grace of God, Christians should be the most gracious people on this planet. Yet, Christians are often the most graceless people. I am guilty of this, too, so I am preaching to all of us. I see it on Social Media, in interactions with other believers in the church, and even in intimate gatherings. This account ends in a great way, but I wonder how the difference of conversation as opposed to accusation would have helped it even more.

As we have conflict with one another, let us remember to be gracious. Our speech should be gracious, meaning the words we choose should build up and clarify rather than break down and confuse. Our tone should be gracious as well. Our body language, too, should be gracious. This is submitting to God’s Word, but there is more to this as well.

IV. Believers must submit to God’s Word-11:18 (Rom. 14-15:6)

We looked at this in chapter 10, but it bears repeating. God’s Word, not our preferences, should guide our lives, which would minimize conflicts. And even when we do have conflict, if we followed God’s Word it would help reduce the conflict quickly and continue to build us up into the image of Christ.

The circumcised believers hear what happened in Acts 10. Peter recounts the events, and concludes with this statement, “If, then, God gave them the same gift that he also gave to us when we believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, how could I possibly hinder God?” We saw how the Spirit was poured out on all people in Acts 2, which was a partial fulfillment of the prophecy of Joel in Joel 2:28-30. In other words, God’s Kingdom was expanded beyond ethnic Israel. Again, this difficulty will rear its head again as we progress through this early history of the church. However, these circumcised believers submit to God’s Word, as we all should. I cite Romans 14-15:6 again, and since we already addressed the issues of conscience, I refer you back to that sermon.

However, as we deal with conflict specifically, ultimately we must submit to God’s Word. So, if we are in conflict and it comes to our knowledge that we sinned, then we must seek reconciliation. If it comes to our attention that we handle the matter in a wrong manner, even if we are theologically or biblically correct, we must seek reconciliation.

When believers are engaged in conflict, they must deal with one another directly, graciously, and under the authority of the Word of God. When we do this, we all praise God and continue His incredible work here on earth.