A Hidden Enemy - Anger
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A Hidden Enemy - Anger
Ephesians 4:26-32
Probably the most effective tool that Satan uses in the home in unresolved anger. It is chief in his arsenal amongst his other good weapons such as pride, lust, and bitterness. Anger is very destructive in our lives. It is especially dangerous because it is something that is often hidden. That is why it is called the hidden enemy of the home. It comes into marriages so easily as well. Something might happen or something may be said and already people are offended, and rather than dealing with it, the injured spouse carries it around. Eventually offenses kept in turn out to be anger.
There is no doubt in every marriage there are conflicts, but in order to build our marriages we must learn how to properly deal with conflict and offenses. The way we deal with these types of problems in the marriage can make all the difference.
The Bible, of course, is our guide book to these things.
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.
Prov 25:4 is almost the same verse.
Anger is not a sign of strength neither is it a sign of leadership nor manliness. It does not mean you are better or confident - or anything else. If you are ruled by anger you are a fool
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
There are 6 internal causes to anger that we need God to help us with and therefore help our children with:
6 Internal Causes of Anger
1. Immaturity
6 Internal Causes of Anger
2. Self-centeredness
6 Internal Causes of Anger
3. Desire to Control
6 Internal Causes of Anger
4. Pettiness
6 Internal Causes of Anger
5. Pride
6 Internal Causes of Anger
6. Fear
I. We Must Refuse Anger
I. We Must Refuse Anger
Make it a rule - quit justifying anger, and refuse to entertain it. Quit allowing yourself to be under its sinful control.
A. Refuse to harbor anger
A. Refuse to harbor anger
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
I often said that anger is appropriate sometimes. Not uncontrolled anger, but anger that is put across to make a serious point in key situation. Anger is right in the military to motivate, in the family anger should be displayed over evil or wickedness at times, so a family can realize the importance.
But it is to be with a decision not necessarily a reaction.
But we cannot angry without sinning if we harbor anger towards others. Someone said that “anger is like an acid that eats the vessel that contains it.
There are two types of angry people. There is the type of person that pursues when they are angry. They just keep on and on, making their point and trying to win the battle.
The other type is the person who withdraws. The person that withdraws pulls back into a shell and hopes that things blow over. Both of these people can harbor anger.
B. Refuse to help Satan
B. Refuse to help Satan
Neither give place to the devil.
There is not a person here that would ever want to help the devil. But don’t you realize that when we are harboring sin, anger, bitterness and resentfulness we are helping Satan by giving place to him. \
We give him room to work and manipulate us, inviting him into our home and lives. And when we continue like this, we are opening up our marriages to the wiles of the devil as well.
I don’t know about you, but I have helped Satan far to much in my life. I don’t want to give him place anymore.
Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth.
C. 10 Ineffective responses to anger
C. 10 Ineffective responses to anger
Rather than obeying God and trusting the Holy Spirit to help us, we rely on carnal means to respond to anger.
1. Failure to acknowledge the problem
1. Failure to acknowledge the problem
2. Withdrawal from real relationship development
2. Withdrawal from real relationship development
3. Ignoring the significance of the conflict
3. Ignoring the significance of the conflict
4. Spiritualizing the problem
4. Spiritualizing the problem
6. Attacking the person instead of the problem
6. Attacking the person instead of the problem
7. Blaming someone else
7. Blaming someone else
8. Desiring to win at any cost
8. Desiring to win at any cost
9. Giving in to avoid conflict
9. Giving in to avoid conflict
10. Buying a gift
10. Buying a gift
II. We Must Resolve Anger
II. We Must Resolve Anger
A. Guard your heart
A. Guard your heart
And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
The Christian must realize that there are many reasons why we must guard our hearts. There is our testimony, our families, pleasing the Lord, but the most important reason is because that our heart is the residence of the Holy Spirit.
When we harden our hearts, when we allow anger to rule when allow bitterness and offenses to swell up, we are grieving the Holy Spirit.
Some of you are having problems today in your life with anger because you do not have the Holy Spirit working on your behalf because you have grieved him over and over again.
B. Guard your mouth
B. Guard your mouth
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.
O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
The reason angry words come out in the heat of an argument is that there are angry thoughts being harbored in the heart. It is not psychotherapy to say you need to fix you heart to fix your life. You need to rid yourself of the resentment, bitterness, by dealing with the conflict or offense rather than harboring it.
III. We Must Replace Anger
III. We Must Replace Anger
There is a rule that we often talk about, it is called the replacement rule. When you take something bad out of your life, you need to put something back in to replace it. When you quit listening to music that does not please the Lord, you replace it with music that does please the Lord. When you quit hanging out with friends which cause you to sin and go away from God, and replace them with friends that help you to do right and draw closer to God.
We need to replace our anger with some good things in the same way.
A. Replace anger with humility
A. Replace anger with humility
One of the chief areas anger comes from is pride and contention. We have to high a view of ourselves; we think that we cannot do wrong, that we are always right, these things fit the profile of a prideful person.
You need to understand that you have nothing to be prideful for, everything you have was given to you by God, whether you will admit or not. The wise person will decide to trust in God to help him get out of the grip of pridefulness.
Look to be tenderhearted and recognize that you are not always right, that you can do wrong. Consider that you have offended others far more than they have offended you. Realize that God has been the most maligned and offended one in history, can we not afford to be offended without anger.
We know the Bible is full of instances where God broke pride problems in the Bible. He broke
B. Replace anger with forgiveness
B. Replace anger with forgiveness
Sometimes people will ask, Pastor, my spouse won’t budge on their offenses, they are not right with God, they have problems. That is true at times. Pastor what do I do then. Well, if they won’t budge, you can control yourself, don’t keep that anger in, replace the anger with forgiveness.
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Marriages and homes are destroyed through anger, but grace, forgiveness, and mercy that Christ can give can do wonders in all.
A Hidden Enemy - Anger
Ephesians 4:26-32