The Seventh Commandment

The Struggle of Sex

Join me as we read our text this morning from Exodus 20:14. This is the word of God

Exodus 20:14 CSB

14 Do not commit adultery.

Pray with me.

Father — we gather before you this morning to become more aware of your presence in our lives. We gather to fellowship and align our will with yours. We have gathered to be transformed into the image of your son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

This transformation includes all of who we are, even our sexuality. Teach us, Lord, your purpose behind the seventh word that you provided to the nation of Israel and how we can abide in you by the power of the Holy Spirit in topics like sex and sexuality.

Give sight to our eyes, give noise to our ears, and prompt our hands toward action. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Sex and sexuality has permeated our culture. It influences how we talk — think “locker room” talk — what we watch or listen to — consider the shows, movies, or books that influence you.

It influences how we are educated. Did you grow up in a household where sex and sexuality were discussed or embraced as a gift from God? Was sex education pushed off onto the public school system? Has the church been a place where sexuality and spirituality intersected?

I think it is wise to define spirituality and sexuality.

Spirituality is a longing to know and be known by God on physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels.

Sexuality is a longing to know and be known by other people on physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels.

Many of us have neglected any talk about sexuality and God because of what we have been taught or what we have assumed. But both of these yearnings, both spiritual and sexual, are essential to what it means to be human. Our deepest longings as human beings are to be in relationship with God and our neighbor.

When we think of sex and sexuality it is likely that we have approached it in two types of ways. We have either treated it as a starvation diet — repressed our sex and sexuality as bad, to be ignored, and hidden away. Or we have treated it as fast food — we have turned it into a reduction, any sexual fulfillment is okay.

We treat it this way because we are broken people — we are sexually broken. But Scripture, and the God who inspired Scripture shows us something unique.

What I love about the Bible is that it does not shy away from telling stories of sexual brokenness. I am thankful the Bible is not a book of sanitized stories of holy people. The Bible is a collection of stories of ordinary, broken people who are loved by God and are made holy by a righteousness outside of themselves; that’s why I read the Bible.

This is not just me, it is not just us. It is the story of humanity from the very beginning. All of us are broken, but we manifest our brokenness in many ways. We are all sexually broken.

We see broken sexuality in the first eleven chapters of Genesis with Laban and his wives. We recognize it with Abraham and Sarah multiple times as he attempts to hide their marriage from kings and rulers to evade death. We see it with King David and Bathsheba, an explicit account of adultery found with Israel’s most cherished and celebrated king.

And today, we arrive at the seventh word from God concerning sex and sexuality: adultery. “You shall not commit adultery.” A word focused on sex. A word focused sex within the boundaries of marriage.

Sexuality is vital in all human relationships. This commandment specifically concerns sexuality between a husband and wife, yet it is not as straightforward as it appears upon our first reading.

The ancient Israelites understood adultery to be a sin that is committed when and only when a married or betrothed woman is involved. A married or unmarried man who had sexual relations with an unmarried woman had not committed adultery, although this is not to say that there we no consequences of such actions. In such cases, the man would normally be expected to marry the woman. If he already had a wife, he would acquire a second one, since polygamy is not prohibited in the Old Testament. This is not to say that polygamy is preferred or something that is good — but that it happened among ancient Israel and other cultures. Monogamy is everywhere in Scripture assumed as the ideal, as a creation ordinance firmly reinforced by Jesus and Paul.

The focus here in Exodus 20 is on physical adultery — God wants the physical intimacy of the marriage bond to be maintained. Maintaining the physical sanctity of marriage is a central element in the maintenance of social cohesion. This is where sexuality and spirituality intersect. Maintaining the boundaries of marriage reflects itself as an earthly symbol of the intimacy between God and his people.

Consider God’s call upon Israel for circumcision — the very appendage by which men might e unfaithful in their relationships becomes a daily reminder to covenant obligations and worship.

With God’s covenant upon them, it makes it clear why adultery was known in the ancient world as “the great sin.” Marriage is foundational to the creation order and to human society; husbands and wives can hardly function fully as one flesh if they do not trust each other. We can witness this “great sin” in Genesis 20:9 where Abimelek was horrified to learn he sinned against Abraham.

Genesis 20:9 NIV

9 Then Abimelek called Abraham in and said, “What have you done to us? How have I wronged you that you have brought such great guilt upon me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should never be done.”

Joseph rebuffs Potiphar’s wife lest he do this great wickedness and sin against God

Genesis 39:9 NIV

9 No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?”

Any person found guilty of committing adultery could be charged with the death penalty. Adulterers are commonly linked with murderers and treacherous men who misuse God’s name and oppress the widow. Even the wise sages go to great lengths to caution youth against the schemes of the ‘strange’ individual whose path leads to sheol and death.

Adultery is serious business because it rips apart at the social cohesion of the faith community. It is serious business because it rejects the covenant God has placed upon the Israelites, and upon us.

And I believe we all understand that. Some of you sitting here that have been through adultery know the painful reality of how destructive it is to marriage, family, friendships, and the faith community.

Yet, sex and sexuality are still a struggle. And Jesus Christ knew adultery doesn’t begin with an action of the hands, but of the heart.

In Matthew 5, Jesus is giving his sermon on the mount where he spends time presenting the tradition with a more concrete mandate for his disciples to follow. We saw one last week concerning murder and anger. Today, we will be looking at Jesus’ words concerning adultery and lust. Join me in Matthew 5:27-30 as we read God’s word together.

Matthew 5:27–30 NIV

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Jesus transitions the traditional mandate concerning adultery to now focus on lust, an action or desire that does not end with the hands, but begins within the heart.

This is not the first time lust had been equated with adultery in the heart. The 10th commandment, which we’ll read in a few weeks, speaks of lusting after your neighbor’s spouse. Job 31 and inter-testamental Jewish writings also convey similar teachings.

Stress is placed upon lusting and that it occurs in the heart. Lust involves an actual desire to have sexual relations with someone other than your spouse. Notice how he uses eye and hand. It makes a ton of sense considering that they are the primary elements in moving from lust to adultery.

I think Jesus is being pretty serious talking about gouging out eyes and cutting off hands in regards to a sin in the heart; however, he goes a step further with a reference to hell or Gehenna.

Friends, we must recognize those thoughts and actions and take drastic action to flee from temptation. We are called to have a rightly ordered sexuality — which at its core allows us to be known and to know others in specific ways.

Paul writes in 1 Thessalonians 4 how we are supposed to treat our fellow believers. He writes,

1 Thessalonians 4:3–8 NIV

3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

People are not objects for our enjoyment or abuse. They are God’s creation called to be loved in an honorable and holy way. And that stretches from your spouse to the stranger you walk past.

We are all sexually broken. A large majority of us in the room have committed adultery of the heart. I can guarantee that several of us in the room have committed adultery against our spouse or have been the victim of adultery. We live in an age and culture where it is a constant battle not to give oneself to objectifying others and belittling the vows of commitment between couples.

As I close today, I want to turn our attention to the gospel of John. In John 7:53-8:11, we have the story of a woman caught in adultery. I have no idea why only the woman is brought forth, but this is what the scribes and the Pharisees chose to do.

That could be any one of us — accused of sin, standing before the crowd and the religious leaders. As she stands there, Jesus kneels down to write with his finger.

Pestered by the religious leaders on what they need to do with her, Jesus responds with a command,

John 8:7 CSB

7 When they persisted in questioning him, he stood up and said to them, “The one without sin among you should be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Jesus then continues to write on the ground with his finger. Jesus’ writing on the ground is profound — here he is being portrayed as opposed to Moses who received the law written by the “finger of God.” They are arguing and challenging Jesus about the law. They are speaking directly with it’s author.

One by one the crowd dwindles, realizing that they are all guilt of sin. Jesus stands, looks at the woman and asks,

John 8:10 NIV

10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

She answered, “no one, Lord.” And then Jesus says this amazing thing right here.

John 8:11 CSB

11 “No one, Lord,” she answered. “Neither do I condemn you,” said Jesus. “Go, and from now on do not sin anymore.”]

“Neither do I… go…do not sin anymore.” We are all sexually broken, but Jesus brings hope, transformation, and forgiveness — even in our messiness.

We have all sinned — most have lusted — some have committed adultery. Some of you have harmed people with your disordered sexuality. Jesus is here today to say, “You are forgiven… go and sin no more.”

He tells us to live rightly! Build the community of faith! Strengthen the Body of Christ, the Church, with a love that goes beyond lustful passions and taking advantage of another sexually — God has called us to live in holiness, and that includes our sexuality.

Do not commit adultery — do not lust after another because you are called to holiness, honor, and love.

G. K. Chesterton was on cue when he suggested that a man knocking on the door of a brothel is in fact looking for God. We all often look for the right things (connection, ecstasy, touch, yearning to be known, etc.) in the wrong places. We are looking for connection — and our God will transform your capacity for sexuality by the power of the Spirit if you abide in his will and his life.

If you have allowed your sexuality to run rampant — abusive, ungoverned, destructive; flee from it. Turn to Jesus because Jesus provides hope for you today that you can be transformed, renewed, and loved rightly — go and sin no more.