Hot Mess, Hidden Joy

Intro

We have been in this series simply called “Hot Mess” Its about God redeeming messy relationships

and this week we are going to learn from our kids a bit but before we do I wanted to do two things.

Where we have been

Loving Leah : Remember if you have been in this series with us this is all about the idea that You married lovely beautiful Rachel but you wake up in the morning and there is not so lovely Leah.

The idea was that Jacob couldn't get the Rachel that he really wanted without loving Leah.

Relationship Posture: Remember this is the idea of how we stand in relationships matters

Taking a position of humility and humbleness

Lead with forgiveness : Last week we talked about the King, God, leading with forgiveness. Our knee jerk reaction is to lead with justice. Remember, we want forgiveness from God but justice with everyone else?

Ok We have been memorizing a bible verse as a church. And I want to ask one of our kids to lead us in reading this together...

Memory Verse:

1 John 4:11-12

The New International Version (Chapter 4)

11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

So today we are going to dive into an actual messy situation...

Look for the blessings

Hidden in the mess...

Kids Lesson: INVITE UP HEATHER

10 Minutes

God has something for us in the mess

When we confront it.

10 Min on the practicality of forgiveness

When I first started this message series we started with Jacob, Leah and Rachel .

Back in the very first message I taught in this series…I talked about Jacob...

If you remember Jacob. At the advice of his mother, he tricked his brother out of his inheritance and tricked his father out of the blessing.

This was an evil thing to do.

He had to flee...

Then he goes and gets tricked by his uncle Labin...

and he tricks him bad so that he has to flee...

Now Jacob’s relationships are defined by trickery..and deception…The guy is a liar

So far, Jacob has had to run away from every relationship he has had because it keeps on going the same way

Messy relationships get worse when you run from them.

The Bible says that Jacob and Esau wrestled in the womb…and in one way or another they had been wrestling their entire lives

So at this point in the story, they have been apart for 15 years...

So Now Jacob is going back to his brother Esau...

He is going back to his father’s land…Which you have to remember...

Is legally Jacob’s…He bought his brother’s birthright and he stole his brother’s blessing...

But now he is coming back with this huge family and property…animals…lots and lots of animals.

We are so far from living in a culture where people own thousands of sheep but essentially what this means is that there isn’t enough room for everyone...

There just isn’t enough food for all the animals...

So lets look at scripture...

Genesis 32:2-7

The New International Version Chapter 32

3 Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom. 4 He instructed them: “This is what you are to say to my lord Esau: ‘Your servant Jacob says, I have been staying with Laban and have remained there till now. 5 I have cattle and donkeys, sheep and goats, male and female servants. Now I am sending this message to my lord, that I may find favor in your eyes.’ ”

6 When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau, and now he is coming to meet you, and four hundred men are with him.”

7 In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, e and the flocks and herds and camels as well. 8 He thought, “If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.”

So Jacob’s communication to his brother before they even meet is that he has repented…He is not the same man he was in his youth

-He is not sneaking around the land behind Esau’s back

-He is not coming to lay claim to his inheritance rights

-He isn’t coming back broke…looking for what is due to him

Jacob’s communication to his brother wasdisarming

When we go into situations where we know it can be highly charged and volatile, anything you can do to disarm the situation

See Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to reveal his intentions. He wants favor with his brother

But when Jacob sees that Esau has 400 men coming toward him…I mean this looks like an ancient army

Jacob is afraid.

In our fear we can tend to get defensive

In our fear we can do things that are unwise

But what does Jacob do?

Genesis 32:9

The New International Version Chapter 32

9 Then Jacob prayed,

Jacob prayed about reconciling with his brother.

Folks. conflict is inevitable!

It just will always happen as long as we are dealing with other humans…we are going to fight.

But look what happens after Jacob prays

He gets a God inspired idea...

Genesis 32:13-18

The New International Version Chapter 32

He spent the night there, and from what he had with him he selected a gift for his brother Esau: 14 two hundred female goats and twenty male goats, two hundred ewes and twenty rams, 15 thirty female camels with their young, forty cows and ten bulls, and twenty female donkeys and ten male donkeys. 16 He put them in the care of his servants, each herd by itself, and said to his servants, “Go ahead of me, and keep some space between the herds.”

17 He instructed the one in the lead: “When my brother Esau meets you and asks, ‘Who do you belong to, and where are you going, and who owns all these animals in front of you?’ 18 then you are to say, ‘They belong to your servant Jacob. They are a gift sent to my lord Esau, and he is coming behind us.’ ”

I want you to picture this. Before Jacob ever sees his brother...

Waves of flocks are sent to him...

and he is told…Its a gift

Its a sign of repentance, it is Jacob saying…I know I stole your inheritance...

You can have it back and more...

I know I stole your blessing…But Now I want you to be blessed...

Every wave of animals must warm Esau’s heart toward his brother.

Jacob’s communication with his brother modeled repentance and invited grace.

Jacob repented from his previous way of life…he was no longer hiding anything…all that he owned was put out in front of him…He put himself at the mercy of his brother

It actually reveals what Jacob really valued

Jacob valued restoration over winning

See many times when we are in the thick of conflict. We value winning over restoration

We value being right over finding redemption

See when you value restoration, You will not avoid messy relationships. You will lean into them so you can find restoration.

Genesis 33:3-4

The New International Version Chapter 33

3 He himself went on ahead and bowed down to the ground seven times as he approached his brother.

4 But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.

Jacob bowed 7 times…This is an ancient way of saying I am completely submissive to you. He is giving his brother complete honor.

Write this down because this is key.

Jacob gave respect rather than demand it.

See Jacob comes to his brother and gives respect to him. ...

But all too often there is a conflict brewing and we demand respect.

Our attempts at restoration, don’t always work out. but this one did.

Jacob didn't run from his problems

Jacob’s communications with his brother is disarming

Jacob prayed about his interaction with his brother

Jacob modeled repentance and grace

He valued restoration over winning

And he gave respect rather than demand it.

One day Jacob would have a very distant relative…A relative who would model this so perfectly

It isn’t a shock to me at all that when Jesus came to deal with the mess of humanity...

He didn't run from the cross, he confronted it

He disarmed his critics with love

he prayed for us

He modeled grace and forgiveness

See Jesus came to deal with the mess that our sin made between us and God.

Jesus’ death on the cross and his resurrection covers over the mess of our sin. He takes our mess on and replaces it with his own life.

Through his death on the cross he extends these waves of mercy and grace toward us

Which beckon us toward this new life

All that is left for us to do is to accept this free gift.