ABSALOM - Part 2

David the Shepherd King  •  Sermon  •  Submitted
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INTRODUCTION
There are few things that bring as much emotional pain as rebellion of children against their parents.
Yet, the theme is so common today that we have even come to refer to the adolescent years as “the rebellion years”
In our last lesson we began to consider the rebellion of the young man, Absalom.
The story of Absalom reads like a contemporary account and it has much to say, both positively and negatively.
In this lesson we will notice:
Absalom’s strained relationship with his father
His increasing popularity in Israel
His conspiracy to steal his father’s throne
His ultimate death
This series has not just a history lesson - it is truths from God’s word that apply to us today
You see, all of God’s word is history
It is the history of His people and it is the history of His will for us today
Remember...
Romans 15:4 ASV 1901
4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that through patience and through comfort of the scriptures we might have hope.
1 Corinthians 10:11 ASV 1901
11 Now these things happened unto them by way of example; and they were written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the ages are come.
DISCUSSION

ABSALOM’S STRAINED RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS FATHER

In our last lesson I described for you what it must have been like during Absalom’s growing up years.
He was born into a polygamous, bickering home comprised of competing wives and rivaling children.
Absalom’s father, David, was absent much of the time – being busy with the affairs of the state, and having little time for his children
Absalom had a full blood sister he dearly loved who was raped by his half-brother.
When David received the news of this evil – he got mad, but did nothing else.
Absalom vowed that he would kill his brother, and finally did at a sheep shearing party.
Absalom then escaped to Geshur, the home of his grandfather where he spent 3 years. We left him in our last lesson in Geshur.
Absalom’s relationship with his father as it progressed in the last message can be summed up in three words: distance, disillusionment, and division.
Absalom longed for his father’s attention, but what he got was distance.
Absalom was disillusioned concerning his father’s reaction to the rape of his sister
When Absalom took matter in his own hands – killing his brother – he got division.
A lot of commotion can settle down in three years, and with the grieving over Ammon’s death complete, David is feeling remorse over the situation with his son, Absalom.
2 Samuel 13:39 ASV 1901
39 And the soul of king David longed to go forth unto Absalom: for he was comforted concerning Amnon, seeing he was dead.
But for three years David had done absolutely nothing to bring Absalom back.
It is though David says by his actions, “O.K., boy. You caused me embarrassment and discomfort, now I’m going to watch you squirm for a while.”
Joab enters the scene in chapter 14 and in a series of events involving a woman from Tekoa, he persuades David to call Absalom back home.
Notice the conclusion of Joab’s plotting to get Absalom home…
2 Samuel 14:23 ASV 1901
23 So Joab arose and went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem.
Now notice the response David gave to his returning son…
2 Samuel 14:24 ASV 1901
24 And the king said, Let him turn to his own house, but let him not see my face. So Absalom turned to his own house, and saw not the king’s face.
This response is a little bit different than the story of the Prodigal Son over in Luke, isn’t it? In that story, there was restoration and rejoicing.
Here, though, is a father who says, “Sure you can come back – but I don’t want anything to do with you.”
Perhaps, David, like many parents today, thought he was doing the right thing by withholding his love and approval from Absalom in order to show his disapproval.
But as we will soon see, this maneuver will soon backfire on him. The same holds true today.
Parents, it is so easy, when other methods seem to have failed, or you just don’t want to take the time to discipline your children in love - to withhold love and approval to get them to do what you want… the same can be true of grandparents
But this is one of the things that exasperates children and leads them to rebellion
How does it work? Like this: Your child does something wrong and you simply withhold or withdraw your love.
You do it by giving the silent treatment or by constant and harsh criticism
Some treat their child as though they are worthless to them unless he conforms to their wishes.
Many parents make their love for their children conditional.
By this a child thinks you only love his action – and don’t really love them
Am I discussing a Biblical topic or is it just the latest pop psychology?
Brethren, the Biblical topic is none other than agaph – the unconditional love that is the central focus of the entire Bible.
It was this love that caused Jesus to die for us while we were yet sinners
Notice these verses on agaph:
1 John 4:10 ASV 1901
10 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Romans 5:8 ASV 1901
8 But God commendeth his own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Corinthians 13:1–7 ASV 1901
1 If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profiteth me nothing. 4 Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, 5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil; 6 rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth; 7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Parents have a right to disapprove of their children’s mistakes, but they do not have the right to withhold their love.
If you do, then you could see in your family a reenactment of what happened to David's family
Well, the curtain of Scripture rises on a different stage now as it brings us to the center of the events in the life of Absalom during all this. What it shows is ...

ABSALOM’S INCREASING POPULARITY IN ISRAEL

The Bible account takes on a little color now as it describes Absalom’s appearance
2 Samuel 14:25 ASV 1901
25 Now in all Israel there was none to be so much praised as Absalom for his beauty: from the sole of his foot even to the crown of his head there was no blemish in him.
Those words “no blemish” have to do with Absalom’s outward appearance. He had no defects, no scars, no deformities, no pimples. He was good looking, and he knew it!
2 Samuel 14:26 ASV 1901
26 And when he cut the hair of his head (now it was at every year’s end that he cut it; because it was heavy on him, therefore he cut it); he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels, after the king’s weight.
200 shekels is over 3 pounds! That’s a lot of hair! When most men get a haircut, you’d be lucky to get a few ounces.
That word translated “beauty” in verse 25 means handsome as a man would be described.
He was probably the “dream boat” of every Israeli girl in the land, but, alas, he was married. And he had four kids.
The next verse describes his family...
2 Samuel 14:27 ASV 1901
27 And unto Absalom there were born three sons, and one daughter, whose name was Tamar: she was a woman of a fair countenance.
Did you notice what he named his only daughter? Tamar!
Remember his sister? He loved that girl! And he never forgot!
And probably still blamed his father. And this little girl was every bit as beautiful as her aunt.
Take a good look at Absalom, here.
Here is the kind of man that parents would like their daughters to marry – good looking.
But he was rotten on the inside.
He was scalded with bitterness, driven by rebellion, selfish, and vain.
Parents, talk to your children about the kind of person they should marry.
Teach them that there is more to others than what is on the outside.
We do not want our children hurt.

ABSALOM’S CONSPIRACY AGAINST HIS FATHER

Remember, things had never been made right between Absalom and his father, though Absalom had returned to Jerusalem.
Two years went by without a word traveling between the Palace and Absalom’s house.
Absalom was treated as though he was dead.
Finally, Absalom could not stand it any longer.
He sent Joab to take a message to his father – Joab didn’t come. Absalom tried the process again – Joab still didn’t come.
Absalom then sets Joab’s barely field on fire – Joab then showed up.
Absalom knew how to get attention, and it is the same way as many young men and women today know how to get attention – with bazaar acts
2 Samuel 14:31–32 ASV 1901
31 Then Joab arose, and came to Absalom unto his house, and said unto him, Wherefore have thy servants set my field on fire? 32 And Absalom answered Joab, Behold, I sent unto thee, saying, Come hither, that I may send thee to the king, to say, Wherefore am I come from Geshur? it were better for me to be there still. Now therefore let me see the king’s face; and if there be iniquity in me, let him kill me.
Absalom is saying, “I came to Jerusalem to see my father and I can’t even see him.
I’d rather die than keep on living with silent treatment.
If I’m not right with him why doesn’t he just kill me and get it over with?”
In a strange sort of a way, Absalom is once again reaching out to his father.
Absalom got his father’s attention, but not his heart. Now notice the nice little ritual David goes through
2 Samuel 14:33 ASV 1901
33 So Joab came to the king, and told him; and when he had called for Absalom, he came to the king, and bowed himself on his face to the ground before the king: and the king kissed Absalom.
The king leaned over and kissed him. That’s all. Nothing else was said.
Formal refinement – but no love shown, no forgiveness, and Absalom knew it!
How blind can a father be?
Some commentators make Absalom the guilty party in all of this - vindicating David all the way.
I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t look that way to me.
David may have been “a man after God’s own heart,” but with his son he failed.
Something dies inside Absalom between chapters 14 and 15.
What had been disillusionment turned to utter disgust toward his father. Hope died.
From this point on we see Absalom laying plans to overthrow the kingdom. No more attempts toward reconciliation – no more reaching out.
The plot to overthrow begins to unfold in chapter 15. Absalom begins by discrediting is father in the eyes of the people, saying he had no time for the people
2 Samuel 15:6 ASV 1901
6 And on this manner did Absalom to all Israel that came to the king for judgment: so Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.
Day after day this occurred, and David did not have the slightest idea it was going on.
2 Samuel 15:12 ASV 1901
12 And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David’s counsellor, from his city, even from Giloh, while he was offering the sacrifices. And the conspiracy was strong; for the people increased continually with Absalom.
Why would Ahithophel, David’s most trusted counselor, leave David and come to Absalom?
That is a fascinating question. If you check the genealogical record of 2 Samuel 11:3 and 23:34, you will find out that Ahithophel was no other than Bethsheba’s grandfather.
Many years ago Bathsheba was violated by David, and her grandfather never forgot. Absalom knew of this strained relationship and took advantage of it
2 Samuel 15:31 ASV 1901
31 And one told David, saying, Ahithophel is among the conspirators with Absalom. And David said, O Jehovah, I pray thee, turn the counsel of Ahithophel into foolishness.
2 Samuel 15:14–15 ASV 1901
14 And David said unto all his servants that were with him at Jerusalem, Arise, and let us flee; for else none of us shall escape from Absalom: make speed to depart, lest he overtake us quickly, and bring down evil upon us, and smite the city with the edge of the sword. 15 And the king’s servants said unto the king, Behold, thy servants are ready to do whatsoever my lord the king shall choose.
So Absalom moved on Jerusalem and took it without even a bow shot.
By this time people are leaving David in droves to follow Absalom.
David’s kingdom is crumbling before his eyes.
Absalom now controls the capitol, and Ahithophel is his chief advisor. Now look at his first counsel – he has now a chance to get back at David.
2 Samuel 16:20–22 ASV 1901
20 Then said Absalom to Ahithophel, Give your counsel what we shall do. 21 And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father’s concubines, that he hath left to keep the house; and all Israel will hear that thou art abhorred of thy father: then will the hands of all that are with thee be strong. 22 So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel.
Did you notice where Ahithophel put the tent? On the roof!
Do you remember where David sinned with Bathsheba? On the roof!
Ahithophel wants to give David a vivid reminder of what he did with Bathsheba
Question: How could a man like Absalom grow to hate his own father so much that he would do such a thing?
Well, we have seen it develop in this lesson.
And, look around, it develops between parents and children quite often today as well. Parents, we need to learn the lessons of this portion of Scripture!
I wish this story had a happy ending, but it doesn’t. It ends with the tragedy of …

ABSALOM’S UNTIMELY DEATH

Chapter 18 describes the battle in which Absalom, in a bazaar manner lost his life.
The battle between the armies of father and son were raging.
All of Israel was in turmoil. David divides his army into three groups, but before sending them out, he gives one last minute instruction…
2 Samuel 18:5 ASV 1901
5 And the king commanded Joab and Abishai and Ittai, saying, Deal gently for my sake with the young man, even with Absalom. And all the people heard when the king gave all the captains charge concerning Absalom.
You see, David is concerned about this boy. What a pity Absalom never learned of it!
Ironically, it was Absalom’s long hair that caused his death. In his vanity he had gone into battle without cutting it
2 Samuel 18:6–9 ASV 1901
6 So the people went out into the field against Israel: and the battle was in the forest of Ephraim. 7 And the people of Israel were smitten there before the servants of David, and there was a great slaughter there that day of twenty thousand men. 8 For the battle was there spread over the face of all the country; and the forest devoured more people that day than the sword devoured. 9 And Absalom chanced to meet the servants of David. And Absalom was riding upon his mule, and the mule went under the thick boughs of a great oak, and his head caught hold of the oak, and he was taken up between heaven and earth; and the mule that was under him went on.
So, with Absalom hanging there in that oak tree, someone in Joab’s company comes upon him and runs to tell the general.
Joab asks, “Did you kill him?” And he says, “Certainly not – you heard the King’s instruction.”
2 Samuel 18:14–15 ASV 1901
14 Then said Joab, I may not tarry thus with thee. And he took three darts in his hand, and thrust them through the heart of Absalom, while he was yet alive in the midst of the oak. 15 And ten young men that bare Joab’s armor compassed about and smote Absalom, and slew him.
What a sight! Absalom hanging there in blood soaked garments – dead.
Word finally got back to David about the death of his son, and David’s response is one of the saddest passages in all of the Bible.
2 Samuel 18:32–33 ASV 1901
32 And the king said unto the Cushite, Is it well with the young man Absalom? And the Cushite answered, The enemies of my lord the king, and all that rise up against thee to do thee hurt, be as that young man is. 33 And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! would I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!
David manifested great grief, and it was as though all of the memories of the past flooded his mind.
Now David realizes that he should have been reconciled with his son before this – for his death now makes it impossible.
Did David love Absalom? Yes, he did.
Here he states that he would have died in his place.
Did the boy know of his father’s love? Very doubtful.
This is a sad story, but not uncommon.
And, lest we be guilty of not telling the whole story, look back at...
2 Samuel 18:17–18 ASV 1901
17 And they took Absalom, and cast him into the great pit in the forest, and raised over him a very great heap of stones: and all Israel fled every one to his tent. 18 Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and reared up for himself the pillar, which is in the king’s dale; for he said, I have no son to keep my name in remembrance: and he called the pillar after his own name; and it is called Absalom’s monument, unto this day.
Though the pile of stone is probably gone that marked the site of this tragedy, Absalom’s monument is still with us today in the pages of Scripture, beckoning to all who will hear of the tragedy of a life lived with conditional love.
And to set the record straight, though his father could be blamed in many ways – Absalom still paid the price for his rebellion
It would be tempting to walk away thinking that Absalom was not responsible for his wrong. But the Bible does not take that position
CONCLUSION
Parents, how are you dealing with your children? Do you punish them in anger, or discipline them in love?
Do your children know you love them?…
Malachi 4:6 ASV 1901
6 And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers; lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
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